RORY STEWART (EX! -MP)

A very important cunting please for a very important little man, who has many important things to do (in case you haven’t cottoned on yet – he’s important) Yes 5 foot 2, eyes of blue, Rory Stewart is to stand down as an MP to become an “Independent” (that fucking word again!) candidate for London Mayor:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-49931937

Mr Stewart, it will be recalled, is that little man who came from nowhere (soon to return there) as a Gerry Anderson-inspired Remainer puppet, as a would-be Conservative leader three short months ago. He is another “I’ll pretend I want a deal” bloke in the mould of Theresa May-Not. He soon got his marching orders, as he will no doubt will in the Mayoral contest – he isn’t black, he isn’t a woman, and he is a bit posh. No chance in Tower Hamlets.

Seriously, why is it that little men like to pretend they are big? Just as Lady Hilary Benn is the direct equivalent of Dominic Grieve, so is Rory to Gaylord Adonis – opposing parties, but with a great deal of self entitlement (and too much optimism)

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

I was a big fan of Electric Light Orchestra back in the Dark Ages of my youth and, when pissed, regularly shoved on headphones and “sang” along to my favorite track which was “Do You Want My Love”. This was long before karaoke was invented so it was just you, your drink-fuddled mind and Jeff Lynne and his mates blasting out fab stuff.

Anyway, as I was waiting at the traffic lights the other day, I became aware of a familiar tune I hadn´t heard in decades and then realized it was “Living Thing”, another brilliant stomper from ELO. But instead of that heavy rhythm and electrifying guitar magic that makes it impossible to stand still, this was a tinny, anaemic version that sounded as if it was being squeezed out of the voice boxes of adenoidal choirboys in a large, cold cathedral. The source was a cut-price carpet shop which had put a speaker outside blasting out this pitiful, criminal cover. I was tempted to kick it over, go in and set fire to the place for desecrating a great band.

Cover versions – fuck ´em, I say! Here´s a link to get your adrenalin flowing ISACers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Y-rfbzmgY

Nominated by Mr Polly

Ex-BBC director general Mark Thompson is getting antsy that the BBC isn’t able to mind-control the British public to sufficient degree thanks to alternative broadcasters, particularly Netflix and their ilk:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-49812965

The fucking cunt! Who the fuck does this controlling little Marxist twat think he is? Who the fuck does he think we are – mindless little automatons that need Big Brother beamed into our living rooms to make us behave like the tyrannical, lefty cuntrags that the Ministry of Truth decree is acceptable?

That organisation is basically already on everyone’s shitlist here. Let’s cheer the fact the worms that use the public broadcaster to further their self-righteous PC socialist agenda are squirming!

Nominated by ShagawotZ

A well-earned cunting for Naomi Long, from unknown leader of the Alliance party in Northern Ireland and an MEP.

What has this ridiculous woman done? She’s reported Farage to the police for incitement to violence after he said they would take a knife to the civil service if they had the power to after an election.

Now for someone who’s leader of a political party, you’d think she would be familiar with the word cuts and the origins of the word.

What sort of hysteria is possessing politics? How can people like this continue in politics?

Cut it out love. Your politics are less attractive than you are.

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit

A Concours cunting is badly needed for yet another weak as piss snowflake cunt, Sharleen Ndungu.

“Who the fuck is that?” I hear you ask. She’s another attention-seeking mong who is now apparently “traumatised for life” after being served a sausage roll with (shock horror) pork in it because she’s a vegan AKA an easily lead “look at how cutting edge I am” cunt.

To quote: A woman claims she started having heart palpitations and broke down in tears after being served a sausage roll that contained sausage. Sharleen Ndungu, 20, is vegan and she went to get a bite to eat at Greggs in Canterbury, Kent. But when she started eating it she realised the sausage roll contained real meat. She said: ‘I haven’t had meat in two years. My belly started hurting and my heart started going crazy. ‘I was panicking because that only happens when I consume meat – this doesn’t happen when I have other food. I’m traumatised for life now – I’m never going to Greggs again.’

Traumatised? My arse. Fucking dumb millennial cunt. Mountain out of a molehill syndrome just to gain paper articles and soshal meedja coverage. The people who have experienced real trauma are those who are scarred from war and genocide, not by going to Greggs and expecting them to pander to the demands of an over-entitled Twattermong.

Fuck off.

Nominated by TwatVarnish