Anna Soubry:

A blue and gold, Tena Lady, last hurrah cunting please for this terrible, AmDram actress:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/obsessed-brexit-activist-left-anna-soubry-in-fear-after-confrontation-court-hears-a4283806.html

Can anyone imagine old mother gin guts being scared of anybody? (except perhaps the threat of a sweaty, long, hard, brutal shag from David Lammy), yet here she is in court calling somebody else *obsessed* (pots and kettles comes to mind), and saying she was too frightened to use public transport.

Hopefully the defendant will be found not guilty and Soubry, losing her deposit at the next election, will slide into the obscurity she so richly deserves. If she needs a part-time job, perhaps Keith Vaz will take her on as a mechanic in his washing machine repair company.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Cowardly MPs who won’t contest their seats are cunts, aren’t they.

It appears that many MPs have said they’ll be “stepping down” (as if it’s their decision) at the forthcoming election. Perhaps they’re stepping down to spend more time with their consciences, after thwarting Democracy for so long.

How dare these gibbering Remainiacs deprive us of enjoying their humiliation on Election night. We’ve watched these toads leap from party to party to prolong their survival yet when the great decider arrives, the guillotine that is the General Election, they whimper away like pathetic, petrified puppy pugs. Their final act of of defiance is a prevention of our schadenfreude in seeing each fainthearted sissy receive the sack.

Nonetheless, there’s still a smidgeon of comfort knowing that these timid, scrotum-free assassins of democracy will be unemployed a week before the festive season. Let us rejoice at that.

?”Rockin around, the Benefits office, have a happy holiday…” Merry Christmas, you craven cunts.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

I think those fucking thieving cunts sky are due a cunting. We had been customers with those cuntfaced bandits for over 20 years then they decide to bunk up our monthly charge to 100 quid without even telling us. We then came back as a new customer and they offered us a cheaper deal for a sky Q box. Except the issue with the Q box is the fuckwitted engineer who fitted it has didn’t have a clue what he was doing so the box doesn’t work!! And the cunts fucked up our freeview tv too so we can’t watch that either. Those parasitic cunts should be wiped from the face of the earth for robbing hardworking people of their hard earned money. Special mention to sky sports too for persistently changing football matches too ridiculous times, I’m not too keen on going to sky fucking Middlesbrough on a Saturday afternoon nevermind a fucking Monday night!!

Nominated by Lord Cuntington

I would like to dedicate a square nomination for the oft-mentioned but rarely cunted ‘comediennes’ – many of us despise them but because we are such bitter, militant sexists, we have never addressed the inequality of giving them adequate representation within these hallowed halls. Being a prime example of a subserviant gentleman and fair-minded champion of women’s rights, allow me to take the lead on this one, chaps.

Miranda Hart, Sarah Millican, that cunt from Goodness Gracious Me, Jo Brand, Amy Schumer, Victoria Coren, Julia Louis Dreyfus, any of the shitcunts from Saturday Night Live, that ginger-haired cunt who drags out her Northern accent, that obese Australian landwhale, Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Josie Long, Bernard Toksvig, Jenny Eclair, Catherine Tate and any of those fucking cunts from that whole Peep Show/Thick Of It incestuous Oxbridge TV clique… not one single fucking laugh has ever been brought out in me by any of them.

I can truly count the number of women in comedy or stand up who have made me laugh on a pair of testicles: Felicity Montagu from Alan Partridge and Pauline McLynn from Father Ted. Both had/have actual comedic timing, delivery, nuances.

The rest are just – especially these days – ultra-feminist useless cunts whose source material is 99% about their own vaginas, periods, victimhood and problems having sex with their cavernous klunges.

Absolutely fucking useless cunts. Marzipan dildos, the lot of them.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

A nomination for Britbox if you please. Britbox is a new subscription streaming service created by the ever-desperate BBC, in conjunction with ITV. Note the word “subscription”; so we have to pay to watch programmes that we as licence-payers have already funded in the past, effectively making us stakeholders….

The main reason for this cunting though is that these woke wankers have stated that many of the classic comedy shows will be shown in a censored format to “avoid offending modern audiences”, including ‘Fawlty Towers’, ‘Porridge’ and ‘Only Fools And Horses’. Now there was some ribald humour in all of these, but can any of you cunts think of a single moment in any that’s “offensive”?? Jesus wept. Obviously ‘It Ain’t Half Hot Mum’, ‘Love Thy Neighbour’ and ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ have been explicitly banned already.

Selective editing of history; as I recall the Nazis were pretty big on that…..

Nominated by Cuntan the Cuntarian