Grammarly. God, this company is annoying.
Their adverts are annoying, their encouragement and perpetuation of laziness when it comes to spelling is annoying, the fact they’re trying to convince you to pay a small fortune for something the likes of Word/Libra/OpenOffice already do, is annoying.
Fuck these cunts.
Nominated by The Rt Hon Earl Opinionated de Cunt
I want to cunt a personal issue, hip arthritis.
It started about 3 years ago with a simple walk across the office, a bit of pain occurred. Six months later it still hurt, so off I toddled to see the quack. X-rays later and yup, arthritis it is. Gradually the pain became stronger. I had cortisone injections, but eventually it’s fucked. It varies, sometimes it just hurts, sometimes it is fucking unreal.
I’m wobbling around like a fucking weeble, but I do fall down. Today I stumbled down a couple of stairs at work, ironically on the way to hospital for pre-surgery assessment. Providing I’m clear of MRSI, I’m having a shiny new one on Tuesday. Pain is a cunt, constant pain is beyond cunt, if there is such a thing.
Fingers crossed I won’t cark it on Tuesday and I’ll dance on for a few more years.
Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious. DCO
I would very much like to nominate irresponsible hill/mountain walkers.
After recently moving to the Lake District a week doesn’t go by without reading of some party of twats ending up getting lost on mountains that surround the Lake District.
Usually these fucking clowns are tourists wearing the most basic hill-walking footwear; they don’t bother with proper boots or thick clothing or hi-viz jackets, torches or even a flask of fucking tea! Instead they just stroll up a mountain just because its a nice clear day at ground level. They don’t bother with the weather forecast, and they assume they will get a good signal for their phones.
But as soon as they get to the top they realise how quickly the weather can change; low level cloud suddenly appears and the next minute you’re walking around in thick fog and totally disorientated. Moreover, temperatures can drop in minutes from being suitably warm to unbearably cold.
So typically the mountain rescue services are called out to find these fuckers, risking life and limb for their troubles. Admittedly some of these twats are humbled and grateful. But what really grates are those cunts who, once back home safe and sound, start playing the blame-game on social media; even to the point of criticising the rescue service for being so slow finding them!
This doesn’t just apply to hill and mountain climbers, but twats who fuck about on rivers, lakes and seas; who end up getting into difficulty and expect to be rescued.
Irresponsible selfish thick cunts should just freeze to fucking death, the cunts!
Nominated by Technocunt
I have to nominate Twitter.
I recently made an account and during the set-up process, I was treated to a number of accounts I might like to follow. It was the BBC One Show-types to such giants of modern thought such as Gary Lineker, Gina Miller and some twat involved with the phoney impeachment of Trump. My automatic reaction was to grin and say “well… they don’t hold their cards to their chest on political allegiances” and this was to an empty room. Others included the likes of Cardi B.
Why don’t Twiter just rebrand themselves HillaryClinton’sMinge.com?
Fuck Twitter. I’m off to watch He-Man. At least I’ll get more intellectual stimulation from that.
Nominated by Cuntamus Prime
Who the fuck is this ‘Black Pete’ cunt, I hear you ask.
He’s Sinteklaas’s helper, part of Dutch folklore. Sinterklaas is basically the Dutch Santa Claus (or Father Christmas in proper English). He probably says, “Merrysh Chrishmush” and leaves clogs under the Christmas tree.
Anyway, he has a helper named ‘Black Pete’ and in early December, in a tradition going back to around 1850, the Dutch have street processions with Sinterklaas with his black-faced helper (a Moor from Spain, according to tradition). You can guess what the Millennials think of it. ‘Pwotests’ abound about the ‘waycism’ from these fuckwits. From the video I watched, it seemed pretty much all of the protesters were white.
I doubt most black people give a shite.
If you know any of these cunts protesting this age old tradition, send them Jim Davidson’s Chalky singing ‘White Christmas’ and a ‘Black and White Minstrel show’ DVD as their Christmas presents.
Cunts.
Nominated by One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Cunt