Naked Calendar Cunts


It’s about time for every boring “Oooh,look at us,aren’t we wacky?” group of “fundraising” narcissists to start flogging their tired shite.

In the Age of Freely Available Porn, I don’t want to see a bunch of students covering their bits with handy potted plants and I most certainly don’t want to see a bunch of wrinkly, old, coffin-dodging bags dangling their kneecap-scraping dugs while leering like Prince Andrew at a school Nativity play when the Virgin Mary comes on stage.

Think of some original way to satisfy your vanity and shove yer charity up yer arse while you’re at it.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

40 thoughts on “Naked Calendar Cunts

  1. Look Fiddler if it means that much to you, you can be on the ISAC xmas calendar!
    But you cant be April im doing April!
    And a bit of me in May too!😀

    • I had an image of you being up Theresa May when I read that Miserable.

      • I was mate, she likes a bit of rough trade before church of a sunday.
        You see her on telly an shes walking funny big love bite on her neck?…ME!!😀

  2. Can I be Mr December in the ISAC calendar Dick? With a sprig of mistletoe just above my leetle fren?

    • December? Are you sure?….Judging by the photos that you insist on sending (flouting a “Cease and Desist” order,might I add) the colder months are not your friend…perhaps September would be a better choice when you mask your tiny acorn behind,well.,,,a tiny acorn.

      • Wankers making a cunt calender of their wonderful cunt selves to sell to other cunts, so they pat each other on their cunt backs to tell themselves how cunting marvelous they are.
        All for ‘charidy’ of course.

  3. As long as these people are, foremost, female but also young and attractive then I am all for it.

    All of the ladies in the photo above would be most welcome in keeping my feathered creature warm and satisfied.

    Is Mr Fiddler trying to tell us that ladies are off his menu?

    • “Off the menu”,Paul?…I can’t even buy one off the shelf at the moment. I blame Brexit…nasty Little Englander racists have made The U.K. a hostile atmosphere for many of the East European beauties who previously got to sample my wares.

      That’s why I’ll be voting for Mr.Corbyn and his unlimited immigration policy. I’m no racialist.

      Remember Cunters….Vote Labour on Thursday so that I can get my leg over.

      • Not to mention preserve your £££ multi-million EU farm subsidies… 😊

        Morning Dick, great nom – early Sunday morning wank sorted!

      • Don’t worry, M’Lord…
        We’ll put The Flabbott in a sealed train, and send her towards Morpeth…

  4. Except non of them are ever actually naked. They do look better, however than the miserable cunts in this years Pirelli calender.

  5. Are these the same students that go into self righteous meltdown over page 3 or a calender on a mechanics work place wall?

  6. We can’t ban nude calendars for 2020 Dick – remember we have that long awaited event coming up this week – The Lesbian Labour Ladies Victory Calendar for 2020, with a bevvy of naked labour lovelies, such as Dame Margaret Beckett bravely showing full bush in January next to the snowman played by Steptoe himself covered in whitewash. February brings us delectable Jess Phillips on the rugby field wearing just a big scowl and a small jockstrap, March has Rebecca Long-Bailey, adjusting the time on a big clock with a big toothy grin, April of course is Easter, so there is naked Diane Abbott enjoying the giant Easter egg she has just burst out of…. forgive me, thinking of the rest of the year and what Dawn Butler is doing in a June heatwave – I need to go off for hand shandy.

    Order your copy now gentlemen

  7. Please tell me that engaging ravishing beauty Laura Pidcock is legs akimbo as Miss June.

  8. I used to work for a very respectable company that provided plant and tools to the building industry.
    We took great pride in safety and training , Then one year fuck knows why they published a tits out calendar,
    We spent a lot of time making sure that clients had the correct PPE for the task/equipment they were doing and then offered them a book of naked women using the equipment wearing hard hats, goggles and gloves.
    I am far from being a prude, but I felt it totally undermined the safety message being put out.
    I note that the esteemed Mr fiddler has omitted the Stihl calendar that appears each year featuring nymphs in the forest waving around chainsaws ( a very poor representation of horticulturalists)

    • Already on order,Lord B….Here’s a lovely who is obviously all ready for me to plunge my 15 inch bar into her back-cut….the lucky mare.

      • Cheers Dick….(‘dick’?!). Fantastic start to my day.
        Those girls have plenty of Stihl…..unlike the usual charity calendar munters featuring Doris aged 79.
        I think our old friend Cali Angel once of these parts may be tempted to join in. Avert your eyes Mince Pie Guy!!

    • Does anyone remember a Polish bird called Anna Grunt (sic), and her “part” in the “Rotary Tools” affair ? When I was at school, early – mid 70s …

  9. Looking at that assembly of limp-wristed soy cunts on the photo, you just know that not a single one of them did the decent thing while surrounded by reasonably attractive naked women and suggested a full-blown orgy while they had their kit off. Too busy bleating on about how much they respect them and feel their empowerment. Pooves.

      • Obviously a fake because I don’t see a tongue up a asshole

        Actually looks more like ray parker jr if he was a few shades whiter and retarded with big teeth._. Who gonna call? Arseeaters

  10. It’s so very saucy and titillating!
    I really must rush to the high street and buy a dozen at once.
    Fuck it I’ll stop in and drink lager.
    Cunts one and all.

  11. Great cunting Dick, I hate naked people even naked females because it reminds me how hopelessly empty my love life is and the shit I have to do and the amount of money I have to accumulate to even be in the vicinity of one. Jerking off to naked calendars is so 90’s anyway brings back fond memories of wanking to lingerie ads in flyers but my mind is desensitized to extreme sexual acts so I’ll just stick to porn until i either win the lottery or get a job to acquire a thai sex slave I mean girlfriend, i have to say i’ll really banking on the former cause working just isn’t for me…

    Plus I also hate calendars, keeping track of days? no thanks not for me I constantly forgetting what day it is to begin with all the hash i smoke. My calendar in the kitchen is still on November ffs cause I forgot to flip the damn thing

  12. I take it this lot in the photo aren’t vegans then, as well as the blatant cultural appropriation of the aborigines tendency to wander without apparel, expulsion from their campus must be surely pending, as a charitable act on my on part I am willing to provide lodgings for the ladies apart from the chubby one

  13. I once posed fully naked for a calendar. They didn’t use my full frontal shot, claiming that they “had enough women with small tits”. I protested, explaining that it had been extremely cold that day, but to no avail.
    Incidentally, why are the wimminz who pose naked for these things exactly the same wimminz that you want to keep their clothes ON?

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