Goal celebrations need a nomination.

I actually couldn’t care less about football, but I’m sick of seeing these cunts on the TV news sports reports, skidding on their knees or piling on top of each other in an orgiastic scrum, just because they kicked a ball into the net. In the old days, didn’t they just pat each other on the back and shake hands?

Whilst I’m in the mood, also a nomination for marathon spectators. Why would anyone want to stand at the side of the road for hours, watching a load of cunts running past? Same goes for Grand Prix spectators.

Grand cunts, more like.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

A ‘Yoof Activist, innit’ cunting for the Advocacy Academy, please.

Whilst I can see the relative merits of teaching young people to think outside the box in order to find new and better ways of doing things, I have to question exactly what these cunts are trying to achieve. To make my point, can I suggest you click this link and see if you can spot the common denominator here:

http://www.theadvocacyacademy.com/#the-advocates

(if you’re struggling, click on the ‘show more’ link under the mugshots.)

Yes, these are the ‘future thinkers’ that are going to shape the years to come. I wonder what the theme of their focus will be. Will it be a breakthrough in green energy, or a means of feeding the world, or even a cure for cancer? Well, call me a bluff old traditionalist, but I can only hear cries of ‘whitey is waycist’, ‘more multiculturalism’ and ‘Vote Labour’ as the dominant theme from their educated gobs.

I fail to understand why this sort of shit is being encouraged. Gobshite kids should have their legs slapped and be sent to bed – and Greta, that includes you too.

Study those faces carefully, fellow cunters, because their owners are soon to be seen glued on the the top of a train near you.

Nominated by The Stained Gusset

So after the vaporization of a state controlled Terrorist by Mr Trump the back lash is starting with the first of what can only be assumed will be many lone wolf attacks.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50986028

It’s hard to believe that these are sleeper cells that have been activated, but more the fault of an overly liberal system that has allowed (and cared for) these people in our midst, realistically some form of military reprisal would be expected, however short of suicide bombers Iran is rather restricted apart from blind faith, and blind faith can achieve a lot of impact especially when dealing with a population in internal (theoretical) combat, you will all recall criticism of the Police after the London bridge shooting ( Big thank you to the transport Police there, you may know fuck all about running a transport service but you know how to deal with terrorists).

So scores on the doors.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_knife_attacks_by_Islamic_extremists

So, Your Thoughts?

Nominated By Joris Bronson.

Restaurant Critics are cunts, aren’t they?

Why does anybody still employ these blowholes? There they sit with peremptory taste buds and haughty opinions, swilling ridiculously-priced vino whilst pitifully attempting to over-describe roast squirrel. Perhaps it’s the quaffing of so much free booze that encourages these parasites to dream up over-articulate ways to describe the sumptuous cheese sauce nestled on a sorry-looking piece of cauliflower, or boiled bollock of a butchered Lancashire pig. There they sit at their most recent free meal, with notebook and breadfruit and unctuous tongue. If I were the chef I’d have pissed into their glass of fizz and shat onto their nest of caviar.

Is it honestly worthy of a salary to boast, “Oh darling this roasted shark’s fin is to die for” or “If you haven’t dined at La Cou Grandeé then you simply haven’t lived.” Money for old cunts.

Anthony Bourdain thought he was something special, before the pompous turd shared noodles with Obama then killed himself; AA Gill was a cunt as well, even before he married the frumpy, democracy-hater Amber Rudd and Will Self is hateful turd, like an overgrown, metropolitan stary-eyed rat.

The only pricks who like or associate with restaurant critics are OTHER restaurant critics, as if they’re all sitting in a big circle having a wanking contest. “This circle jerk is to die for, glorious, my colleagues’ ballbags are super on the palate and taste simply divine. Pass the Chateau de Cunt.”

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous