Joe Lycett

A maiden cunting for this limp-dicked BBC prodigy.

I had the misfortune of catching this “comedian” on the R2 drivetime slot tonight. Honestly, what a poovey great cunt. A voice that makes Alan Carr sound like Lee Marvin.

This quite obvious poo-chute reamer was all too keen to hint to his listeners of his gay credentials. For example, he played the song “If I can’t have you”, to which he imaginarily responded to the female singer “you can’t have me because your not my type”.

Not your type unless it has a gut stick and a pouting, rusty sheriff’s badge, of course.

Still, this cretin ticks all the BBC boxes as a comedian, but ironically he is as funny as a fire in a puppy farm.

Piss off.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex

Mr and Mrs Hewitt…

A less than regal cunting for the gruesome twosome, who have decided to step back from being – get this – SENIOR members of the Royal Family:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51040751

Get over yourself Harry. You haven’t got the taste of the orb yet, and as for your miserable little wife, she has never been a senior anything. You are both useless wastes of space.

They intend to divide their time between the UK and the US…as far as I am concerned, America can have them full-time.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Halfwit Harry Hewitt.

I mean, just where do you start?
The half blood prince and his attention seeking, money grubbing missus have decided to ‘step back’ from their duties to the Royal family to pursue a more ‘progressive’ role on their own. This will apparently involve splitting their time between the UK and North America. Fat Reg must be cacking his calvins at the amount of trees he’s gonna need to buy to offset the carbon to appease little thunderthighs.
The Ginger tosser also reckons that he wants to generate his own income but is still quite happy to suck on the public teat in the meantime AND continue living (part time of course) in the ‘cottage’ that the public purse has recently spent two and a half million quid on renovating. Well, unlucky son, Gerry Cottle’s not recruiting at the moment, he has all the clowns he needs.
The fuckers should be stripped of all titles, income, properties and privileges and told to fuck right off. When they finally split up at least she could make a few quid by blowing off his step uncle and he could fuck off back to his dad.
CUNTS.

Nominated by Kunte Kunty

Bumped as item of interest (Well the radio wont fucking shut up about it, and I was looking forward to a good war)

The Insufferably Smug

The There’s an old saying which goes ‘never speak ill of the dead’. Normally I’d abide by this, but there’s an exception to every rule. In my case, that exception is restaurant critic Michael ‘Winner’s Dinners’ Winner, an overbearing prick into whose soup I’m sure many a chef will have wanked. Winner epitomises that breed apart which I characterise as ‘the insufferably smug’.

Before getting down to a few cases, let me define what I mean by this phrase. Well as a characteristic, smugness displays a high degree of self-satisfaction and a sense of superiority over others, At its worst, it carries with it the certainty in the correctness of one’s own views, and a condescending attitude to those who disagree. It manifests itself in that Will Self style complacent body language and self-congratulatory inflection in the voice, and that little George Clooney insincere smirk. The insufferably smug can most readily be found in that self-regarding Metrobubble world of politics, meeja and celebrity, where they’re thicker than fleas on a dog.

So here are a few examples of smug cuntitude to illustrate my point, and for you to get your teeth into. Take champagne socialist Islington millionairess Emily ‘Peppa Pig’ Thornberry, living the high life while pontificating about her ‘working class roots’, then posting a disparaging photo of white van man’s house bedecked in the disgusting flag of St. George. Good idea Peppa; hold your smug nose in the air and sneer at the very people you purport to represent. Funny how it came back to bite your fat arse in 2019. Ten out of ten on the smugometer.

Then there’s the contemptuous attitude of luvvies such as Slaphead Stewart and Steve Coucunt, informing Brexit voters that they ‘didn’t know what they voted for’, or that they’re ‘ignorant and ill informed’. Good job for us then that we have these two world renowned experts on international affairs to demonstrate the error of our ways. Or take everybody’s favourite SJW Owen Jones. Yes, somebody PLEASE take Owen Jones. Little Owen is a past master in the art of ‘doing’ smug. It oozes out of him as he disses anyone who has the temerity to disagree with him as ‘fascist, racist, xenophobic’. I’d go so far as to say that in his case, smugness is terminal.

Have a little think about that aristocrat of smugness, that pompous fart Meryl Streep. Remember her at the Golden Globes, disrespecting ordinary folk because they preferred to watch football and martial arts rather than improving themselves by spending their money on the ‘worthy’, virtue signalling product of Hollywoke? That’s right; another cunt who thinks that her celebrity entitles her to pontificate to the rest of us, and whose vanity leads her to think that we actually give a flying fuck.

Let’s face it, this pernicious trait of insufferable smugness has grown like a cancer on the faces of those who make up what has come to be termed ‘the cultural elite’. It’s anchored in the belief that the hoi polloi in Britain and elsewhere just don’t know what’s good for them. Farage? He’s a demagogue. Trump supporters? Idiots, ‘a basket of deplorables’.

I’d love to set up a stall where we could line every one of these cunts up; Jon Snow-Flake, Bercow, Linekunt, Clinton, Izzard, Dame Elton, the Grants (Hugh and Russell), Chakrabarti, Thompson, Hislop et al, so that we can hurl coconuts at them while they regard us with that air of intellectual superiority. Actually no; make that pigshit. Let’s return the crap they spout at us in kind. The insufferably smug cunts.

PS; Happy New Year to Alex Salmond. Oh, what a wonderful deflation of smugness!

Nominated by Ron Knee

Packaging

During the run up to Christmas I ordered quite a few items online, mostly from Amazon. And even though all the goods arrived on time and intact, I was amazed to find the amount of packing used even for the most durable of items! I mean who the fuck sends a mobile phone case wrapped in 3 layers of bubble wrap, which in itself is wrapped with brown packing paper, which is packed in those irritating polystyrene chips that filled a packing carton the size of a large breakfast cereal box!

A jiffy bag would have probably done the job in this instance, and I know some suppliers want to make sure the items arrive undamaged. But there is a point where excessive packaging becomes a pain in the arse to dispose of!

Similarly, when buying shoes or slippers – the amount of packing in and round these items is excessive.

Shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts – have additional packaging around the collars and sleeves along with about 4 or 5 tags hanging all over the place.

Another irritation with packaging are those items that are hermetically sealed in plastic clam-shell casings. And the plastic is so tough you have to use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut the fucker open!

I am all for doing my bit for the environment (even though the real reason this world is so fucked up is over-population!), but the amount of paper, cardboard, plastic, polystyrene etc whether its recycled or not, is incredibly excessive and a cunt to get rid of.

Nominated by Technocunt

The BAFTAs (2)

Here we go again. The fucking BAFTAs.

Another round of self congratulations for mostly piss poor, juvenile shite. And of course they are not ‘diverse’ enough. The pile of cringe making cunt that was Black Panther (technologically advanced African country – yea, right) not available for patronising this year, so virtuous, woke cunts are desperate for some sub-standard ethnic crap to champion. And, unusually, there are a couple of grown up films nominated which infuriates the cunts even more.

Fuck the lot of them. Stick the BAFTAs up the collective arses of this shoddy, unoriginal collection of wankers.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

(Any views on holding a ‘Luvvie of the Year poll’? – Admin)