Why are students bringing their dependents here?
After all, they’re students, and unless they have rich parents, or are rich in their own right, they should hardly be able to keep an arse in their trousers, much less support a dependent.

Then I came across this little jewel of a report. That explains such a lot, a loophole, and quite legal, that you could drive a double-decker through.

Small wonder then, that “dependents” are coming in, on a visa. I cannot help but wonder how many get to stay?

Pie News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Twitter and it’s true value.

”Victoria Coren issues Only Connect apology after show slammed for ‘shameful’ segment”

It seems that there was a tweet:-

”After the programme, Changing Faces tweeted: “We were disappointed and shocked to see scars described as marks of shame on your show recently. There is #NoShame in having a scar.”

It seems that some obscure cunt regards an everyday use of the word ‘scar’ as itself shameful. A grovelling apology was naturally rushed out.
An apology which seems to disregard the fact that this was an acceptable interpretation of the word.

So the true value of twatter is to deny facts and definitions in case some needy, nerdy twat, scouring the twattersphere gets offended. Aint social media grand?

MSN News Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Not too far from me is a water treatment centre, which is obviously fenced off and secure from nosy trespassers. Fair enough.

However, I also noticed on the front gate the usual warning signs about keeping out, trespassers will be executed etc. But then there a whole load more additions, including, “Confined Space: may cause distress”, “Danger: beware of trucks”, “Danger: beware uneven surfaces”, “Caution: Trip Hazard”, “Danger: excavations in progress”, “Warning: noise may cause distress” … and on and on it went to the point where I counted 15 notices on one big notice board!

But to cap it all there was a smaller warning notice at the foot of this big sign saying “Warning: this sign has sharp edges”

I suppose I can understand the logic of all these warnings in order to protect the company from litigation, even though sometimes not even these notices will deter trespassers from suing if they ended up injured.

Years ago I was dumb-founded by the classic “Caution: Hot Water” sign affixed near to a hot water tap in a hotel room I was staying at. There was a similar sign by the kettle. And again it bemused me why all this was so necessary given that surely most people must have an ounce of common sense about them.

But clearly not it would seem.

I recall a time back in my youth and laughing at the road sign showing a bloke trying to open an umbrella; or the one with a bloke trying to abduct a child, or another sign with a massive exclamation mark at the centre. I thought we were about to be hit by a hoard of exclamation marks such was my naive mind at the time

But these days it seems anything and everything has some kind of warning sign attached to it. Even a bag of frozen peas probably has a warning to say its not suitable for someone or other.

It’s a sign of the times I guess (see what I did there!)

Nominated by: Technocunt

and seconded by: Geordie Twatt

‘Sign not in use’
‘Caution: Water on road during rain’
‘Speed limit for safety reasons’
All genuine.
I remember a comedy sketch once (possibly on ‘The Two Ronnies’) with a sign reading ‘Do not throw stones at this sign’.

Excellent nomination, hereby seconded.

Joshua Heath, a junior research fellow, reckons that Jesus could’ve been transgender. A 14th century painting depicting a stab wound in Christ’s side “takes on a decidedly vaginal appearance”. This view is supported by the dean of Trinity College, Cambridge University.

Is he claiming that the millions of people throughout the course of human history who’ve died from violent stab injuries were all transgender too? What a prize and deluded cunt.

You really couldn’t make up this shit. I fucking well despair at the madness permeating this once-great country.

Andrew Lawrence explains with far more humour and passion than I could ever muster:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSNL0XsnPL4

Telegraph Link.

Big News Network Link.
Post Millennial Link.
(Additional links provided by our Religious Scholar, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by : Cunty McCunt

I finally got round to watching the 90 minute or so ‘interview’ between Piers Morgan and Cristiano Ronaldo.

What a pile of cunt.

Right. Here goes.

First up, Ronaldo was right in saying that United is run by cunts (the Glazers). He was also right cunting Gary Neville and Wayne Rooney.

But fuck me. What a precious Prima Donna cunt he came across as. At the age of 37, he can’t start demanding to be treated differently. Let’s face it.

He’s one of the greatest players ever. But he’s nothing spesh now. Bang average in terms of world class levels. To be expected, he’s knocking 40.

But he was at one of the world’s biggest clubs, Man Utd. He can’t start demanding this and that and refuse to be a sub. Refusing to come on?

That’s a cunt, right there.

But I digress

Morgan was the bigger cunt. His interview was the most sycophantic things I’ve ever heard.

The whole fiasco could’ve been reduced from 90 or so minutes to less than half a minute.

Ronaldo: Do you know who I am? (Repeat loudly throughout)

Morgan: Oh Ronnie honey, (slurp) you’re the best ever. Oh your member tastes so good (slurp).

Interview?

Fucking blow job, more like.

Sporting News

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks