Way back when I was young, we as a family all sat down to watch the Eurovision song contest……back when it was a ‘proper’ contest and you had to admit at the end, the winning song was probably one of the best on merit.

I loved the running ‘tongue in cheek’ ridicule of other songs, singers and countries by the fantastic Wogan commentary. To be fair, for me it wasn’t about the songs, but simply put- Wogan. He made it watchable and entertaining…even with the inevitable (and amusing) tactical voting between countries….Wogan always predicted correctly what would happen.

However….over the last 20 odd years it has been hijacked by the gay community…not as a song contest, but as a showpiece for puffy weirdos. The ‘community’ see it as a vehicle to promote licking and arseing….and is a propaganda tool to be used on the young and innocent who tune in to see what it’s all about.

I gave up watching after the demise of Wogan…..I watched the first two years of Norton and to be fair he didn’t do a bad job of piss taking, but now he has realised taking the piss means he is actually taking the piss out of his own kind, then he has pretty much stopped.

Don’t get me wrong, I was never an avid fan, but it used to be good with Wogan and a few beers and tune in and out of during the evening….not it’s just a big advert to try and ‘normalise’ puffery.

Gaytimes

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

Mark Harper is a cunt.

The Transport Minister is whining about how the upcoming rail strikes will ‘cynically’ target the Eurovision Song Contest.

Fuck the Eurovision, Who gives a fuck about a totally rigged freakshow full of poofs and circus acts? What about the rail strike on the day of the all Manchester FA Cup Final? No mention from Harper of that, is there?

Yer another career MP appeasing the rainbow mob. Get your priorities right, you cunt.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-65441184

Nominated by : Norman

A couple of years ago I put up a nom on the subject of irritating screen clichés. I was delighted at the manner in which cunters weighed in on the subject and kicked these tiresome tropes to death.

Or so I thought. Annoyingly, another batch of hackneyed scenes and tired lines has crept out of the woodwork for me to have a go at, because lazy scriptwriters and directors just can’t see past them. So ‘don’t you die on me’, because ‘we’ve got a situation here!’. Here are just a few examples that invariably elicit an ‘oh for fuck’s sake’ response from me.

Cut to a scene in any detective drama. Some fashionable types are at an art exhibition or the launch of some singer’s new record, chit-chatting and sipping champagne. Suddenly there’s a scream, the tinkle of a glass breaking, and yells of ‘oh my Gahhd!’ as the star is found face down, a dagger in the back. A female voice off camera then bleats ‘somebody call 911!’.

Then you’ve got the scene where the good guy and the bad guy finally face off. Before all hell breaks loose, the villain feels obliged to philosophise on the nature of his relationship with the hero; ‘you know, it doesn’t have to be like this. We’re not so different, you and me’.

How about the one where the male/female buddy cops are drinking coffee on a stakeout and she says (there’s ‘chemistry’ building between them, remember) ‘ok, so are ya finally gonna tell me what’s really going on between you an’ Maddie?’. He looks into the middle distance, ponders for a second or two, then replies ‘it’s … complicated’. Oh and let’s not forget the one where the treacherous spy chief sneers at the in-over-his-head hero ‘you’ve absolutely no idea what you’ve gotten into!’.

I could cunt indefinitely on this subect, but unfortunately, ‘we’re running out of time!’.
Sadly, ‘this ends now!’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_kBdnziEFA&t=28s

Nominated by : Ron Knee

A nomination for the recent development in street narcotics, ‘Tranq’

Not only has this nasty little cocktail seen overdoses in the Southern US increase by ten times in a year, it has the lovely side effect of necrotising the flesh of itsfrequent users.

Tranq is the family favourite Fentanyl cut with herd animal tranquilizer Xylazine, that enhances the high. The trouble is that both drugs on their own are very good at suppressing respiratory and cardiac functions and therefore incredibly easy to overdose on, as weĺ as the Xylazine having the necrotising effect. the reason why is uncertain, but lesions and pustules erupt on the skin creating open wounds that become infected. Amputations of limbs in the addicted are frequent.. it’s either that or die of blood poisoning.

It looks like a truly awful drug.
(Wasters with no impulse control and a drain on society being eaten alive then dying? Not seeing a problem here – NA)

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/mar/30/xylazine-drug-overdoses-fentanyl
(Link provided by Miserable northern cunt)

Nominated by : Cuntamus Prime

As deaths icy claw gently strokes your chin and the reaper whispers

” Not long now kid…..”

You start to ponder your life.
Great moments, sad moments, heartbreaking pain, moments of joy,
Deeply shameful things you’ve done,
Things your proud of doing, you get the picture.

And it’s with this in mind I started to think about a ‘Bucket List’.

For those who don’t know what that is,
It’s things you always wanted to experience
And ticking them off before your worm meat.

Some people bungee jump.
Some get a tattoo
Some swim with dolphins (?)

Well you can fuck that.
Im going panning for gold.
Always fancied it!
Like a grizzled old prospector.
Sieving for nuggets at the side of a river.
I’ve looked into it.
Can find gold in the UK.
So in summer I’m having a week off to go panning for gold.
I’ve got gold fever.
And when the reaper says

“Knobhead. You drowned in the river didn’t you?”

I hope I can reply by grinning showing off my solid gold artisan made teeth?

https://youtu.be/XZ8Q9mOYJgE

Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt