Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Voters

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People who vote are cunts. Doesn’t matter which party, they are all the fucking same. You only encourage them into thinking that the reason they have attained a following is because they deserve one, instead of the real reason, which is invariably that they wish to inflict their petty prejudices upon the nation in the form of new laws, whilst robbing the taxpayer blind and sucking cock, usually.

What really gets me fuming are dopey fuckers who realise, for example, that the tories are a bunch of chinless, spineless, hopeless bastards, and use this as a justification for voting Labour, even though they are a bunch of bum-sexing, war mongering, expenses fiddling cunts, and vice versa.

The best thing to do with politicians is kill them. Cunts.

Nominated by: Termujin

Satellite telly

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’d like to cunt the dumb motherfucker who thought switching off the analogue television signal in favour of an all digital system would be a great idea. Because it fucking wasn’t. In fact, it was the shittest idea in the sad, shitty, history of shite ideas. As I write this, I find myself staring at a blue television screen because the weather is so bad that the satellite dish on the side of my house can’t pick up the signal from the fucking satellite in a geo-stationary orbit above the UK. Yes, I know big words.

Now I’m sure said motherfucker thought making the UK the first country (or should that be cuntry?) in the world to have a completely digital television system would be cool and prestigious, or some bullshit like that. In truth though, the thick fucking cunt forgot that
(a) Most satellite signals don’t like really bad weather, such as heavy rain and thunderstorms, both of which my part of the UK is experiencing. And
(b) Bad weather is a very common occurrence in the UK.

I’m currently considering stealing the dish from the Lithuanian family that live a couple of doors down from me. That fucker’s as big as Jodrell Bank, and I’m pretty sure they’re sat there at this moment watching Tattooine’s got Talent. Seriously, it’s big. In fact, they’re probably the only people in Manchester right now who are watching television. Even if it is a live broadcast from the Curiosity rover on Mars. Frankly, I’m surprised their fucking house hasn’t collapsed from the weight of the thing.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Boris Johnson [2]

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Boris Johnson is a fat-faced, ugly, bumbling, rich-kid, lazy cunt who needs to be run over by one of his stupid fucking money-wasting buses. Does fuck all for London except show up to cut the ribbon for the cameras and claim all the glory in his personal power-trip of becoming prime minister.

Surrounds himself by people who do all the work and then shows up for the plaudits, usually uttering some totally unfunny drivel to amuse the thick plebs. He has his name added to whatever scheme he’s stealing the glory for, in his usual personal-brand obsessed, cult-of-personality, Boris Boris Boris, power hungry cunt odyssey.

Claims to hate lefties but doesn’t seem to be any different from those cunts and has all the same attributes as a totalitarian, self-obsessed prick. He’s a total fucking cunt and the only people impressed by him are those thick cunts who believe his rhetorical, faux-right-wing, politician-speak, bullshit. Him or Ken? No fucking difference, apart from Kunt Livingstone doesn’t insist on plastering his name on everything. Total CUNT.

Nominated by: MonsieurCnut

Fracking cunts

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Turning over the Southern Shires, fracking is under the Cameron government a largely unregulated, ie a can and will do the fuck it likes, industry. Cuadrilla, the company at it, has one of those made up PR names like Ocado or Haagan Dazs and puffs itself as a caring British Company when it is actually owned by the Yanks and the Aussies. So Bollocks to Balcombe then.

A Stoke standing shoulder to shoulder with cack arsed eco-warriers? Bugger me. Was that an earthquake?

Keep this crude crap yank technology out of the UK. So shrouded in secrecy no one is allowed to know what chemicals are being pumped into the ground or where they end up (hopefully Australia). The dark shadow behind it all is the toxic prisons to missiles yank company Halliburton that brought private enterprise to the Iraq War. You know they care. Fracking Cunts.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke