Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Take us with you, Scotland

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The masses of Twitter fucktards who are using the hashtag ‘Take us with you, Scotland!’ are Judas cunts of the highest order.

Tory government or not, those SNP pigs would never, ever get my vote or support. Any twat form the north of England who has been involved in any tweeted SNP wanking should be put on a ship: it should then be taken into the middle of the Atlantic, and then one our submarines should fucking sink it…

Nominated by : Norman

( errr… aren’t all our submarines based in Scotland? Just askin’ like! )

Hypochondriacs

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Hypochondriacs deserve a good cunting.

I am not talking about those messed up hypochondriacs that need psychiatric examination. I am talking about them fucking feckless depressives with irrelevant superficial little ailments that clog up GP surgeries and hospital A&E departments.

Oh dear..my darling child son has a slight cough and bit of a fever temperature, I must see a doctor NOW. Doc…I’m so down and feel depressed and anxious…please help me. Oh…my tummy is rumbling and it hurts a bit – I may have a cancer tumour, I must rush to A&E NOW. Got a bee sting? Got an ankle sprain? Had a little accident and cut your finger requiring a dab of disinfectant and a plaster? Oh dear I must see a doctor NOW. I paid my national insurance, why should I pay 25p for a pack of supermarket aspirin to cure my head cold…I’m going to visit the doctor at the surgery and get some free prescription medicine.

Wishful thinking…If I was a NHS doctor I would tell these cunt hypochondriacs to stop wasting tax payers money and fuck off. There is nothing wrong with you.

On those rare occasions I myself get a cough, muscle aches, a stuffed or running nose I know it is cold or flu symptoms. No big deal. It’s all down to the vagrancies of the British weather, my life style or maybe germs from other people in the air and on surfaces. Cheap doses of lemon/ honey and/or a 3p paracetamol/aspirin tablet will quickly cure me. I am a chef by trade, but having such symptoms won’t stop me going to work either. (No worries people, I know what needs to be done to stop me or others cross contaminating any food in my kitchen work place).

Nominated by: Entopy

Sandi Toksvig [2]

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Sandi Toksvig is a woman? – well I never. Joking aside, I can’t stand the whining lesbian midget. I don’t know why, but she always reminds me of Bill Oddie. Alice Arnold and Sandi Toksvig were a couple until Alice ran off with that other bull-dyke Clare Balding. I don’t know what she’s got to bitch about, she’s had a fucking sinecure sucking at the BBC teat. But, of course, she ticks all the right boxes as far as the BBC is concerned.

This bollocks about getting the same pay for doing the same job. The feminists have worked round that one nicely now, haven’t they? The new argument goes like this – “we want the same pay for doing work of equal value” – whatever the fuck that means. Of course, I know what they mean by it. Some daft bint, sitting on her arse filing her nails, in a nice warm office back at the council depot, wants the same pay as the men out emptying the bins. No, like most pressure groups, what they are after is special treatment NOT equality.

I hope the poisoned dwarf gets large numbers of the hard of thinking to join “her party”, put up for election, and lose their deposits – ‘cos that’s what’ll happen.

Nominated by: Eyesaqwnt

Fred Dinage

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Now appreciate this runner might be a bit orf a handicapper’s nightmare but I give you the Southern Region/news reader TV presenter chappie and Dead Pool nominee Fred Dinage.

Dinage has been at it for so long it is rumoured he started orf in TV as the original three hole doll as used by John Logie Baird in the first TV experiments (look that up yourself cunts). The octogenarian Cunt sits there in a very dodgy ginger barnet with a face moulded oit orf morticians wax next to a moderately fuckable filly looking for all the world like a long dead Russian president still being wheeled out for the May Day Parades.

Have long rated his lascivious Benny Hill type eye rolling and gurning at his co-presenter filly. How he has survived in this PC world escapes me. A true original.

Reminds me orf me late uncle Silas who spent a few stretches in Strangeways for his er….strange ways.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Mobile phone users

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An old pal of mine who is a black cab driver says that hardly anybody speaks to him on the job these days. He just gets pricks talking shit into their mobile phones, or clowns pissing about on iPhones and other such shite.

Also anyone who talks/shouts on their phone while being served in a shop/pub/bank etc is a pig ignorant fucker…

Nominated by: Norman

I’d like to say a few words about people who use mobile phones in public. Or rather I’d like to say two words to them – fuck off !

I’m tired of hearing people on buses and trains prattling away about nothing and talking twice as loud as they need to. I’m sick of these cunts who can’t walk down the street without having their phone clamped to their ear, who can’t shop in a supermarket without giving someone a running commentary on what they’re doing.

English people used to be renowned for being quiet and reserved. Not any more. Now the whole fucking world has got to know every detail of their pathetic uninteresting lives. To these cunts I say – We don’t want to hear it ! You’re not impressing anybody ! Shut the fuck up !

Nominated by : Allan