Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Barbara Windsor [3]

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I know that most people consider Barbara Windsor a ‘national treasure’, but most people are fucking wrong. What she is, is an annoying, talentless, mockney shitbag, with all the charm, wit and charisma of a rotting corpse. She ruined ever Carry On film she was in with her shite acting and her annoying laugh. And will fucking despise the bitch to my dying day because of that. What the fuck did Sid James see in her?

I’ve never watched Eastenders, so she really didn’t get on my nerves during tenure on that show. But she annoys me greatly in those shitty Jackpot Joy adverts. On their own they’re bad enough, but with this ancient harpy in them they take shite down to a whole new level. Since the ridiculous twat shows no signs of pegging out any time soon, I have no choice but to nominate her for a cunting.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Lord Sewel

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Well bugger me butler. Back to the good old days me dears. A bit orf proper sleaze again at last. Hoise orf Lords, establishment, Labour Peer, snorting cocaine whilst consorting with prozzies and getting filmed. Swinging sixties never went away.

John Sewel (otherwise known as Lord Coke) has been caught at it and had to resign. Waiting for the commie espionage connection to emerge for this former Blair brown noser. Happy days!

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Hashtags

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I bloody hate hashtags, another tool of the feminist devil and the PC thought police.

Nothing good has came out of Twatter or Fumbler.

Now excuse me gents as I have day filled with Hashish, Fart Porn, Video Games and Music. You raping bastards will never understand how difficult my life is.

Nominated by: Titslapper

Acronym users

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People who use fucking acronyms deserve a good cunting.

You know the types, “like O M G” or “L O L” or even worse use a website name “You’re confused.com”

They should all be rounded up, forced to work for nothing, fed on Iceland Turkey Twizzlers and treated to endless repeats of TOWIE until they die live on TV – we could call it “I’m a fucking retard, get me out of here and bury me now”

Presented by Ant & Dec of course!

Nominated by: Jimmy Savile’s corpse

Slugs and snails

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Slugs…and snails too… are right proper cunts.

Fuckers chomped their way through two of my courgette plants last night.

Don’t even get me started on ants.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Slugs and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That’s what little boys are made of !
“Sugar and spice and all things nice
That’s what little girls are made of!”

Corbyn and Harman come to mind. One right out of two ain’t bad…

Nominated by: Dioclese