I desperately want to nominate Martin Lewis, the so-called fucking “money expert” on that cunty paper The Express.
Every bastard morning when I read this paper this cunty face is ALWAYS bragging on how to save money on every cunt of a thing, like he’s the second coming of Jesus Cunty Christ.
I don’t need to be reminded every fucking day on how to save my money from my low paid shitty cunt of a job!
Nominated by Happy Cunt
I’ve just seen that Labour gimp Fabian Hamilton on sly news and surprise, surprise, he thinks that we should tell the leader of the free world, most powerful man on the planet and president of one of our closest and most important allies to basically go fuck himself.
His job is: Shadow Foreign Minister.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Such is the intelligence and competence of comrade compo’s cabinet, that the man responsible for foreign affairs, relations with our allies and diplomacy in sensitive situations thinks that we shouldn’t invite the president of our most powerful ally to our country.
Sly news and Fabian cunt face decided to discuss the 1.8 million (Ha ha) twats that signed a fraudulent petition to say that he’s not welcome.
Firstly, it was more like 18,000 that signed it 100 times each.
Secondly, no one gives a fuck about lefty, virtue signalling cunts that quite happily support Islamic grooming gangs and Harvey wankstain (or at least until it became trendy to condemn him) and then go for trump because he shagged some groupies and grabbed some (willing) pussy.
To be fair to the old cunt he did eventually say that Trump is welcome after all as he isn’t a terrorist, although, as we all know, being a lefty he’s totally cool with terrorists.
He says that we shouldn’t give trump a state visit though.
So what are we to do with him?
A Travelodge perhaps?
A night in a b&b?
A cup of tea with the PM or the queen?
No. None of these things.
Fabian cunt face suggested that trump should come to comrade compo’s constituency and, yes you’ve guessed it, VISIT A CUNTING MOSQUE to get a real view of Britain.
When asked if it’s worth falling out with America he stated that falling out with Trump is not the same as falling out with America.
“There are many extremists but many have liberal values like ours.”
Like YOURS you mean.
“We’re not going to fall out with America, were going to fall out with those that don’t agree with our values.”
Agree with YOUR values, you mean.
In other words he will alienate and insult all those (extremists) that voted for trump and cause damage to a very important relationship just so that he can virtue signal and jump on the “I love killary Cunton” bandwagon.
Why can’t these leftist cunts just accept that he is the democratically elected leader of the good ol’ US of A, and whether you agree with him or not, he deserves the respect that his position is due.
No matter what you think of trump (and I’m not a huge fan) at least he’s not Clinton, who was a crook, a cunt, and got a child rapist set free by attacking the victim and manipulating the evidence, then laughed about it.
But he’s totally cool about that.
You don’t give the state visit to the man, you give it as a show of respect to the leader of a country and I think Trump should have all the respect that should be given to our strongest ally.
I don’t know if any of you distinguished cunters are planning to go, but I will definitely be on the welcome Trump march at the end of Feb to welcome the president and hopefully trigger some lefties in the process.
What better way to spend an afternoon than melting snowflakes, triggering phoney feminists and upsetting cunts like the ones that get cunted daily on this site?
One being that cunt Fabian Hamilton.
Nominated by Deploy the Sausage
Gone are the days of a “10p forra cuppa guv?” down-and-outs ambling on their way between towns.
Now the cunts are annexing the point of source and – to quote Obi Wan – in growing numbers.
Where I am based through the week (Lutonistan) there is a triumvirate of cashpoints, both sporting at least 2 ATMs.
As Christmas approaches their encroachment in proximity to said ATMs decreases to the point where all 7 ATMs had a beggar sat – not near to – but directly underneath said ATM making it unavoidable not to have to interact with the cunts, if even to say “SHIFT!” or “FUCK OFF!”
Please note that there was a panda car decamped outside the local “peaceful” piri piri joint (serving authentic Catholic Portuguese halal chicken), in full view of these cunts hampering folk who actually earn a crust from getting there moolah (if not begging with menaces) and doing nothing about it (other than wiping the grease dribbling down their chins that is).
I wouldn’t care the fucker I had to avoid even had the audacity to say: “We take the folding stuff as well mate!”
Do you, do you really!?! OK how about I go and take a soft shit, wipe my arse, fold that and give that to you, you fucking CUNT!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve chucked more than a quid in the odd begging bowl but these cunts take the fucking biscuit! Cunts!
P.S. I’d like to un-cunt the scouse lad who was with me (don’t know him but we were in the same digs last week) for a couple of priceless one-liners when dealing with said cashpoint beggars…
Beggar: “Spare a few quid forra a warm meal mate?”
Scouser: “Er, yeah, d’ya take switch lad?”
Same beggar: “Wey’ull cans you spare a fag mate?”
Scouser (smoking a tab): “Nah, sorry mate, I’m down to me last forty!”
Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!
I nominate Len Goodman for a cunting.
I know he’s been done twice before, however this time he’s outdone himself with “partners in rhyme”. Something I have had the misfortune to be exposed to and I don’t even own a fucking telly.
If you don’t know what this is I suggest you get on youtube and find out. As an aside, hold a stopwatch and see how it takes for your piss to boil.
I only just made it to a bathroom.
This tv offering is utter nonsense designed to make people feel good about themselves for allowing their IQ to barely creep over 5.
Len the cunt roughly helps fucktards through this process with all the charm of a condom filled with oven cleaner.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt.
It hurts my brain just to recall this mind numbing drivel.
Smarmy orange motherfucker pretending he’s young and full of life. Fuck off you prick. Will someone please break out the chloroform and cart him off to a big hole in the ground somewhere.
Jesus christ, how is he still on tv? This truly is a crime against humanity. A crime against intelligence, and education; and decency.
Given his theatrical background why hasn’t he been locked up anyway? He’s statistically likely to be on file somewhere over at yewtree.
Put ISIS on hold, this guy needs yanking out of the public eye. Immediately.
Nominated by Cuntflap.
Jesus on a Tricycle, that Len Goodman rhyming wank is so utterly cringeworthy that I literally cannot look at the screen due to the extreme contortion of my face in sheer embarassment for the old cunt.
How did it fucking come to this? This old fucking relic from the neolithic era of TV needed to be put out to pasture along with fucking Forsyth.
For too fucking long, Len Goodman has been putting the ‘turd’ into Saturday.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.
Congratulations to Ram It Home Ginger Rogers for correctly guessing that the next dead cunt would be that stalwart of 1970s Childrens TV (and latterly Alcoholics Anonymous), Keith Chegwin. Commiserations are due to Shaun for not achieving four wins in a row.
So the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 79.
Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):
1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!
2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).
Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.
Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.
Fred West’s Nominations:
Clive James
Denis Norden
Leslie Phillips
Earl Cameron
Murray Walker