Steve Coogan

With yet another upcoming regurgitation of Alan Partridge due on the Al-BBC early next year, Coogan is in the papers at the moment, bemoaning the fact that so many of the British public with his not-so-alter ego in voting for Brexit. Coogan makes the hurried point that he is really ‘conflicted’ as a remainer, and finds the Brexit vote ‘depressing’.

Bravely though, Coogan is able to forego his principles and carry on playing Brexit-supporting Partridge. What a fucking trooper. I’m guessing the moolah on offer for reprising your well worn and now unfunny caricature of yourself helps ease the pain of such a ‘depressing’ dichotomy.

Fuck off Coogan, you cunt. Your patronising arrogance on what British people voted for is about as welcome as a turd in a fruit bowl. A bit of cash will soon see those hard-earned principles put on the back-burner, eh? What’s ‘depressing’ is seeing you ruin and milk to death a comedy creation that was last genuinely funny more than 20 years ago. I also find it ‘depressing’ to endure more than 10 seconds of you and that crater-faced leek-munching sheepsbumfucker Rob Brydon, trying to out-cunt each other in that cringeworthy shitshow known as ‘The Trip’.

A major cunt from womb to tomb, Coogan is, and always will be a vintage cunt, whose cuntitude will only get stronger with age.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Sir Robert Devereux

Sir robert Devereaux, Head of works and pensions minister, largely responsible for raising retirement age to 67, has retired aged 61.

What a cunt, usual government ‘do as I say and not as I do’ bollocks.

Another clear indication of the contempt these people have for the people they purport to represent.

Enjoy your £1.8 million pension pot, £1/4m lump sum and £85,000 p.a. you ( IMHO ) hypocritical cunt!

Nominated by Fillipo

Emma Watson [3]

Emma Twatson is a cunt…

I was at a mate’s house the other day, and his 8 year old daughter was watching that Beauty and the Beast bollocks… Well, apart from the fact that Old Girly Swot can’t act or sing, the daft cow was on the extras talking up ‘feminism’… And (this’ll make you puke) Emmakins was doing this while playing with fluffy kittens (totally staged, of course)… She was yapping on about how the character in the film was feminist and how stories like Beauty and the Beast should push feminism… I despise any cunt who attempts to bring any sort of ‘issues’ or political or PC shite into entertainment (Doctor Who being the worst offenders)…

But trying to big up misandrist feminazi crap through a Disney film?! A fucking fairy story for kids?! That is very cuntish behaviour indeed… What a cunt…

Nominated by Norman

London Death Toll of Young People 2017

26 young men died tragically in the capital last year, some by shooting, most by stabbing. The police have said they have no evidence that the deaths are linked in any way. Yours Truly pretends to no forensic ability but if I were a white middle aged female I would not be unduly worried. What do you think?

January 20th: Student Djodjo Nsaka, 19,
January 23rd: Schoolboy Quamari Barnes, 15,
March 19th: David Adegbite, 18,
March 21st: Abdi Sheikhey, 19,
April 7th: Karim Samms, 16
April 11th: Abdullahi Tarabi, 19
April 19th: Jordan Wright, 19
April 23rd: Mohammed Hasan, 17
May 7th: Elijah Dornelly, 17
May 14th: Joao Gomes, 18
June 2nd: Abdirahman Mohamed, 17
June 6th: Osman Sharif, 16
June 29th: talented boxer Mahad Ali, 18
August 2nd: Joshua Bwalya, 16,
August 5th: Moped rider Soban Khan, 18
August 8th: Daniel Namanga, 19,
August 8th: Schoolboy Jermaine Goupall, 15
August 25th: RAF Cadet Abdul Mayanja, 19
September 5th: Corey Junior Davis, 14
October 6th: Saif Abdulmagid, 18
October 29th: Aren Mali, 17
November 2nd: Michael Jonas 17,
November 20th: Kacem Mokrane, 18
November 21st: Apprentice carpenter Jason Isaacs, 18
December 31st: An 18-year-old man
December 31st: A 17-year-old boy

The 26 teenagers listed above bring the total number of London deaths by stabbing to 80. The numbers continue to rise remorselessly. May they all rest in peace – not that that will do the poor cunts any good.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Piers Morgan [7]

Formerly the editor of a twatty, cunty newspaper, Piers Morgan feeds bile to the brain dead population each morning with the shit he co-presents. I don’t watch the trash but have seen snippets of the cunt of all cunts.

OFCOM received a shit load of complaints about the bile he presents and he was so joyous with that achievement. Perhaps someone could dump him in the middle of the Pacific ocean or feed him to the sharks? On second thoughts his body might be poisonous to them!

Nominated by Richard Swype