Alex Salmond [9]

Roll out the Bagpipes, warm up the Hagis, Toss the Cabar and drink a wee dram to the impending down fall of one of the most odious characters in UK Politics in recent memory, Alex fucking Salmond aka Jabba the Hut

What a supersized cunt fuck this cunt is. How joyous to see this fat, pompous fucking windbag finally getting nailed for apparent misdemeanours, and even more joyous to see Wee Jimmy Krankie Sturgeon turn her back on him. Salmond is one of the most egotistical politicians of modern times: he lorded over Scotland with an arrogant self-assurance that screamed Cunt! He was responsible for the so-called White Paper on independence, which was a 600-page fantasy based on lies, deceit and manipulated statistics. When faced with genuine questions throughout the Independence Referendum campaign his stock answer was ‘I simply don’t accept that’.

Rumours have been whispered for years about various misdemeanours, but nothing has come to the fore until now. Salmond thinks he is untouchable. His decision to sue the Scottish Government was intended to put them off going public with the accusations of sexual harassment. However, they have called Jabba’s bluff and announced that there were ‘significant inaccuracies’ in Salmond’s account, that will come out in court.

I pray that the evidence is compelling and that he becomes the latest member of the #inappropriatebehaviour club. A two-year stretch, courtesy of Her Majesty, in Barlinnie, would be just the job. I hope he ends up in the same bloc as some big fuck-off Orange hard bastards who would really prefer that Scotland stayed in the United Kingdom. Either that or an 18-stone Nationalist tranny who’s always had a crush on him.

What a cunt

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Kevin Bacon [2]

Kevin Bacon deserves a nomination purely for that stupid name -Bacon.I ask you who but a complete cunt would have a name like that…

But let’s get down to business. I mean what is it with British advertisers these days and their obsession with has been American actors? Harvey Keitel, David Hasslehoff, William Shatner and now scrawny little skinny grey haired with highlights, rat faced Bacon.

Who cares about gifting data to your kids or listening to fucking Britney spears on Apple Music or getting the latest Samsung mobile on fucking EE with 2 years free BT sport.
Bacon must really be hard up and not bringing in the bacon as it were to demean him self on these horrendous adverts with his droning boring middle American accent, dressing in Spandex and donning syrups and going on about 4G and fucking wifi hotspots.

Bacon, do us all a favour and FUCK OFF back to the states and “star” in dodgy B movies and attend openings of art galleries but please get the fuck offa our TV you UTTER CUNT.

Nominated by not perfect but not far off

Eastern Europeans


Our town like many others has a major infestation of Eastern Europeans.

Completely understand they want a better life and it is primarily the fault of Tony Blair and the EU that they are here.

It has got to the point however that in our town centre that on two recent trips, apart from the checkout women I did not hear one person speaking English.

Our local curry shop is opposite a Portuguese coffee cafe (the cafe was asked by the local council/police to remove a NO ENGLISH sign), which itself is next to a Turkish restaurant and dodgy Eastern Eiropean men’s barbers. In fact this particular part of town has many cafes, barbers and ethnic food shops catering for our new arrivals. Tonight when having a meal was able to watch the behaviour of the cunts standing outside. All smoking, with disregarded cigarette buts thrown into the road or on the pavement. Cars parked on the double yellow lines. Men walking in the middle of the road forcing cars to slow down or stop. Lots of handshaking going on and loud shouting at each other. Mainly men, scruffy fuckers with tattoos and no manners.

These cunts are clearly not doctors or essential NHS personnel as the government would have us believe and as far as I can see have fuck all to offer this country. They clearly do not want to fit in with the locals, have no respect for those living here and act as though they own the place. They open their own shitty coffee bars, food shops and ethnic food shops which are no use to anyone but themselves. Pissed off about being continually asked in supermarket car parks whether I want my car cleaned. No you fuckers, quite capable of doing that myself. All cash in hand. Under the radar.

But it is the sheer fucking number of the cunts that I have a problem with, they are fucking everywhere and have taken over the housing in several areas of our town. And some groups of immigrants are not getting on with others resulting in street fights.

My wife told me recently she saw an Eastern European woman (she can tell by their clothes) squatting in the middle of the pedestrianised high street (outside M&S) urinating on the pavement. FFS.

Last year our local police commissioner said he was staggered by the disproportionately large number of crimes committed by Eastern Europeans, and the number that already had convictions in the home country (not picked up by the border control).

About three years ago had to fight to get our son into our local school despite living in catchment. First time EVER children in our catchment area could not get into their local school. The reason being that despite living in the same house for 25 years and both daughters attending the school up against immigrants who have been in the country for five minutes who cannot speak the fucking language and needed translators (at the taxpayers expense) have the same rights as the locals do, albeit have not paid into our system and have not been waiting in line like the rest of us.

Have never considered myself to be a racist and judge people as I find them. I am after all married to a Japanese lady.

But I can say in all honestly that I am fucking sick and tired and fed up to the back teeth with Eastern European immigrant cunts. No skills, no manners, no respect and not fucking wanted.

Anyone who tells me that immigration in its current form is good for this country is either ignorant, a liar or is only about the money and fuck everything else.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

Ahed Tamimi

This little Palestinian shit has been taunting, spitting at and physically abusing Israli soldiers from the age of 11.

Aged 16 her actions got her incarcerated and put in chalky for a few days. Had social meejah and mobiles phones not been the world’s camera then I am certain the butt of a M16 (or similar) would have sufficed.

However, this is not my main reason for cunting this girl, no.

My main reason for cunting this red haired, green eyed and fair skinned girl is because she is no doubt set to become the poster girl for the bomb-making Palestinian “peaceful” cunts that the AL-BB-CERA and other cunt neo-liberal news outlets will jump on to say: “Look, see! They’re just the same as us!”

No, no they’re not.

Little miss punchy-bitch is no doubt only tolerated for PR purposes by the Imams of that shithole. Had she not garnered this attention then I would expect that her clit would be removed and her flaxen locks and green eyes covered by a bin bag walking 20ft behind her 40yr old husband (who also likes a bit of under-aged boy action on the side).

Also – if you see this cunt in action on the AL-BEEB – please note how she continually looks behind herself, directly at the cunt filming her, several times per shot.

Staged??? Surely not. And at no time do any of the soldiers even try to defend themselves cos they’re that bad. I’d love to see her do the same in Mogadishu or Riyadh and see how far she got before the stones were thrown…

Maybe I’m just a cynic who’s fed up of our Old Testament allies getting the continual shit end of the stick from media outlets and press agencies who – for some complete and utter mystery to me, and anyone with sense – pontificates to “peacefuls” like they’re the world’s saviours.

Well they’re not. They’re at the complete opposite end of that particular grace spectrum!

Cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Sacha Baron Cohen

Ohh, Sacha Baron Cohen! Disappointing. You must have the cold sweat of ‘no inspiration’ trickling off your forehead to be now scraping the barrel of mirth so badly.

Cohen’s new comedy is called “Who Is America?” and, erm, it’s not very good. It has several characters (a bald leftie and an Israeli ex-soldier seem to dominate) who are acted and disguised well but alas, it seems the tap of comedy has run dry. He now languishes in the cemetery of Comedians: Making jokes about Trump.

Really? Are things that bad? You made Ali G, a genuinely funny creation with its finger clearly on the pulse of society. You’ve been edgy, puerile, dodgy, and offensive. You’ve made films like The Brothers Grimsby and The Dictator. It was even admirable when they weren’t so great (Bruno).

Borat was ace; filthy, vulgar, offensive and occasionally hilarious. Even the outtakes and media interviews were good like the press conference at Melbourne, Australia where he greeted the journalists (in character) with, “Good evening Convicts and Prostitutes!”

We need to poke fun at everything, we need to take the piss, especially out of politicians. However… this? From you? Laborious, dull clichés about racism and guns. This is weak and has the odour of desperation about it.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous