Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

‘Oh my God, guys!’

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Short, sharp cunting for the two most overused phrases in modern TV-land.

Gennlemun & Laydeez I give you “Oh my God!!!!” and “Guys”.

Both have been adopted from our cousins across the Atlantic.

The former is invariably repeated ad nauseum whenever a bunch of female snowflakes gather to shriek in ever increasing volumes at even the most banal thing currently displayed on Milly’s IPhone.

The latter is typically deployed by beardy,spineless, millennial, barperson /waiters -it’s usually a bloke though- nervously approaching a gang of said snowflakes (eg “Guys. Which one of you ordered the Veggie-burger and triple-fried chips?”). The cunt is so shit-scared of addressing them incorrectly and causing offence as how is he to know the subject of his enquiry is probably transitioning to the opposite sex as he speaks? ‘Guys’ has become an all-purpose phrase to take the path of least resistance.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

Luxembourg

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Dear Satan,

I should very much like to cunt Luxembourg.

Pace my previous thoughts about DI “Juicy” Lucy Lane (and her cane), my masochistic stream of consciousness was interrupted by… yes, Luxembourg.

Convinced that I couldn’t possibly be the only person who thinks that this place is a complete piss-stain on the surface of the globe, I looked up “Luxembourg is a shithole”

Fellow cunters, I refer you to: kkilo.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-really-hate-luxembourg.html

And I’ve never been there, either. Do you know anyone who has ?

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard

Dominic Littlewood [3]

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A daytime Z-listed cunting please for this self important and deluded Uncle Fester lookalike who pollutes morning TV with cheap *reality* shows. The baldy poison monkey grimaces, legs astride in front of police cars in a MP police station car park as he introduces you more hard hitting, cutting edge, but cheap CCTV. Very cheap. Each show must cost about a tenner to make. Just collect a few mugs who want to be on telly, so you don’t have to pay them, a few coppers who like to imagine they were in The Bill, and a few town hall jobsworths who want everyone to see how *important* they are strutting round, put them with a hand camera, a director who is doing his first job since leaving school. Then all you need is little Dom, who went to the same East End Mockney School as Arfur Smith, but sounds a bit rougher, and how could you lose.

Littlewood’s latest abomination goes out round about midday on BBC1. We got a new TV yesterday, and Mrs. Boggs decided to test it out with this dreary programme.

The old slaphead motherfucker is so *good* he makes you want to retch. You can imagine him at school – “please sir, Gordon just farted and Tony just put his hand up Mandy’s knickers. The bolshy little cunt is a total wankstain, pure as TCP. and I just hope his tawdry career collapses due to some peccadillo that brings him embarrassment and shame.

Nobody is as good as this old bugger pretends to be.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Sophie Khan

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Sophie Khan. Who the fuck is that, I hear you ask? Sophie Khan is the Police Action Centre’s Director of Legal and Policy. Last night, the daft trollop was on LBC advocating that police ask gang members if they think it’s a good idea for armed police to carry out foot patrols in the areas that they, (the gang members), carry out their illegal, nefarious activities. Here’s a link to the stupid cows’ organisation

‘People’ like her make my fucking blood boil. Cunts that support an organisation like this should be forced to stick a coppers uniform on and walk the fucking streets to actually see what goes on and The Feds have to put up with on a daily basis.

Weapons grade, Olympic standard, gold -medal winning cunts.

Nominated by DCI Gene Cunt