No doubt the Chwis Packham types will tell me they’re good for the garden, pest control etc. Oh they don’t attack unless provoked…

Bollocks. They’re always aggressive. Like stroppy 16 year old chavs pissed up on white lightning shouting “you wot mate!” at each other.

I was out mowing the lawn and trimming the hedge and they wouldn’t leave me the alone the little wankers. I was hoping I’d “accidentally” slice them in half with the hedge trimmer.

I stop until they move away and then carry on. As soon as I start again they come back.

I remember reading something about them giving off some sort of pheromone if they think they’re under attack and then all other wasps in the vicinity gang up on you.

I try to stay calm when they fly near me but I have this irrational fear and anxiety about them flying into my ears or my eyes.

One of the little wankers stung me in the back of the knee years ago and I can still feel it when I remember it. They don’t just sting once either, they can do it again and again.

Later in the afternoon, sanding some wood in the back yard for a little DIY project I have and there they are again harassing me.

Why can’t they just fuck off?

Mind you there’s always someone worse off. Whoever he is.
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Nominated by: Harold