Cancer Support

 

Right up front this where we are. Mrs D has breast cancer and is scheduled for a mastectomy. Shit happens – usually to us – but that’s not my point.

This shit hits you right between the eyes and you really need support to get through it. Both of us but especially her. And according to the politicians there’s plenty of support out there. Except there fucking isn’t.

They give you lots of leaflets. Main use for those is filling the recycling bin. We found one that looked hopeful so Mrs D trots off to the local MacMillan drop in centre. They couldn’t give her the details of any local support group but they did give her some more leaflets.

So I tried Doctor Google. Clicked on lots of links. Found a group that meets once a month in a local cafe. Except that’s for ‘younger sufferers’ and my better half is 78.

So then I went looking for blogs. Found a few. Took a look. Mostly attention seekers and virtue signallers and mainly in America. Not a lot of cop frankly.

What we need is someone to talk to who has been through this shit herself. You think that would be easy but it isn’t.

So my conclusion is : Cancer support? What fucking cancer support!

What a cunt…

Nominated by Dioclese (still alive and kicking).

49 thoughts on “Cancer Support

  1. My wife died on valentines day 2022 after a massive battle with breast cancer lasting ten years and ten months.
    Spread to her spine/ bones and later her brain.Support was haphazard i suppose but she was the bravest person i’ve ever known and put me to shame when as i moan about a blood test never mind the three ops and radiation/ chemo she went through.
    The pain never ends i can tell you that.

      • Same here. Had counciling by some 30 year old girl over the phone. ( due to covid ofcourse) Told her politely not to bother after two calls. Waste of time.

    • Mine died two days earlier on the 12th in 2010, with the same secondary cancers you describe. A year to the day from diagnosis when they’d given her a few months.

  2. I think you`ll find that there are now so many support groups for millions of various `mental health issues` that the actual real serious physical problems, like cancer, have all been side-lined. This is the Brave New World & Things To Come sprinkled with a dash of 1984.

  3. A pal of mine went through the hell of chemo, radio and bone marrow transplant 2 years ago. I’ve sent him a message and see if he has any options.
    Good luck to you both.

  4. I wonder which committee decided that the answer to health issues is a variety of well meaning but condescending leaflets?

    Another disgrace.

  5. I lost my brother to pancreatic cancer last November, after a 15 month battle with it.
    There was very little support offered, Macmillan were good in getting him some kind of allowance. Not sure what it was, but it was close to the end of his life.
    The reason he wasn’t entitled to much, is because he had worked all his life, and saved for a rainy day. Some who he met, in his many stays in hospital, were entitled to more, because they knew how the system works, and it was better to have nothing.
    The final kick in the teeth, was when he was asked where he wanted to die, he was hoping to go home. I cleared his living room, to accommodate the bed they would provide. But they started talking about means testing him, to pay for the care he would need (it wouldn’t have been 24 hour care as i was going to look after him)
    He told them if it came to means testing, they could drop him off at home and he would just go in and fade away. Unfortunately he died the day before his 59th birthday, in hospital.
    That was his experience, although he asked for very little help, very little was actually offered.

  6. Hey Dio,

    I can relate.

    I hope you and Mrs Dio can find the local support you deserve soon. In the meantime, please send my regards to Mrs. Dio and assure her of my love and support.

  7. Hello, Dio,

    Sending love to you and yours, mate.

    A good friend of mine passed last year after a year-long battle with bowel cancer. A fucking nasty little cunt of a disease, it is.

    Take care of yourselves.

    • Sorry to hear this Dio,
      My best wishes to both you and your wife.

      My dad is in remission with Melonoma,
      I in all fairness can’t fault the support and treatment he was given in Christie’s.

      He was given trial drugs because he thought that time was up and it might help others,
      I think one or more of the trial drugs helped somehow.

      Anyway, good luck fo you both .👍

  8. I’m now a nine year survivor (one of the lucky ones?). The ripping out of half my guts was chicken feed compared to the hell of six months of chemo. There never was much support – I figured that the objective of what support there was, was simply to cajole you through to the next chemo. After nine sessions (each one being 48 hours of continual pumping of the fucking shit) , I told them to shove it up their ass – I was done. Although the wife was very supportive, I found one thought very comforting – that at any time in the past, I would willingly have given up my life in a swap for that of one of my kids or grandkids.. If I was going to croak it, then it was simply that day that had come.
    If the bastard stuff comes back – I will be thinking that again.

  9. Dio. My wife has triple negative breast cancer which is a real ith to treat. No cunt helps her through it at Breast Cancer Awareness and any support group just tells her you never know. She didnt respond to Chemo, has completed her mastectomy has had radiation and post op chemo. She is just 12 months clear. I went through it all just her and I in covid as well which was a total cunt, Anyhow best site to try is https://breastcancernow.org/

    There are all sorts of ladies with and survived as well as close to signing off on there who are probably the best at this advice, Not cunts that run marathons and wear pink. Good luck Dio and Mrs –

  10. My last word, this is verbatim from my pal:
    Quote:
    “Macmillan pay for a dedicated Citizens Advice advisors who understand Cancer and what Cancer specific help is available. So if either of them contact Macmillan and ask for a referral to CAB the help is specific (…and faster, actually).”
    End quote.

    • Can we make our own referral to Macmillan?

      I ask because I unfortunately found out that they were pretty excellent to my now-deceased relative, but it took ages to get a referral from the NHS, who were a fucking shambles throughout the end of life care.

  11. Dioclese, I am very sorry to hear of your good ladies diagnosis. Fight that evil condition and the best of luck for a happy outcome. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

  12. My dad is going through this shit with prostate cancer. Every three months there is a blood test, and every three months the treatment may have stopped working. I only found out recently. He kept it a secret for 7 years. He was given just 18 months to live at the time. How he kept it from me I’ll never know. It makes me feel very guilty for not spotting something was up. If the drugs stop working it’s game over, can’t be cured in his case, only delayed. I lost my nan to pancreatic cancer, I was there holding her hand as she drew her last. It’s a fucking cunt of a disease! I’m hoping for more time with my dad, every day is a bloody struggle not knowing if and when it will get the better of him.

  13. My best wishes to your good lady wife, Dio and my hopes for a full and speedy recovery.

    I lost my Dad back in 2021 to pleural mesothelioma (asbestos). The folks emigrated to Greece in 2005 and the clueless fucking bubble n squeak doctors told him two rounds of chemo would ‘cure’ the cancer, which is utter bollocks and my good wife advised him of this before he had the chemo. My wife had specialists from Barts ready to see him, but he took the bubbles at their word.

    By the time they started shrugging a lot, they cooly advised him to seek help in the UK it was too late – the fucking cancer had grown and the chemo (3 rounds) had weakened him so much that the new treatment at Barts was too much for him.

    Greek doctors – simply cunts.

  14. All the best with this horrid disease and let’s hope you find some support somewhere.
    Pity the world’s governments don’t put a bit of effort into curing it.

  15. No specific advice, unfortunately, but like majority of people here, am sadly familiar with this curse.
    You and Mrs. Dio VERY much in my thoughts.

  16. Just remember that probably the best support will come from you and family, if anyone can offer anything else to you and yours then take that as a bonus…. whoever said ‘you know not the hour or day’ never spoke a truer word, I wish you nothing but the best during this trying time

  17. Dio, I wish your wife all the best in her fight against this bastard of an illness.

    I’m sorry that there seems to be no adequate advice /support out there.

    Maybe if we stopped spaffing so much money on Foreign Aid, to countries who can afford space programmes, but can’t feed their citizens,
    Hotel rooms for illigal immigrants, usually young healthy males,
    Funding to pay for NHS diversity officers, but not nurses,

    and many, many other examples of public ( don’t ever call it Government in my hearing, unless you want a second arsehole) money being spent on useless stuff that would have benefited a handful of people, we would have the funding for better research, and better support.

    • Having lost my lovely Mum to this dreadful illness, I do understand.

      I hope Mrs. Dio is one of the survivors, but we’re here and listening.

  18. Sorry to hear about your wife’s situation Dioclese.

    Speaking pragmatically and from experience, cancer treatment is not always the hell it is portrayed as. It really depends on type (200 or so exist) and stage and patient co-morbidities. Ive had surgery and 4 months chemo and the worst bit was an infection that put me in hospital for ten days, rather than the chemo itself which I tolerated pretty well..
    The main reason for that was becausebi was also on immunosuppressants for my transplant.
    My dad had radiotherapy for his prostate cancer, driving to his appointments as an outpatient after working until lunch, finishing his treatment just a month before lockdown.

    I know what you mean about general support, it was just a folder with specialist nurse details and ‘ so you’ve got cancer’ gumpf. in my csse I was seen at by good clinical team who were sll very good at addressing my worries.

    I just wanted to get all the results and know what was going on. That was always the real test (for me).

  19. From all of the “I have cancer” announcements I’ve seen people post on Facebook over the years, I was under the impression that cancer is cured by people in the comments section “sending prayers” (almost exclusively yanks) or putting a cancer ribbon in the corner of their profile pic or posting an image of some cringe platitude like “Let’s punch cancer in the dick”.

    Everybody know leaflets don’t cure cancer.

      • @Jeezum Priest

        Yeah I’m not a very sentimental type and usually go straight to gallows humour to lighten the mood. I just thought my comment seemed tonally-disjointed when juxtaposed to all of the solemn comments directed at Dio. I figured that at least one person might have posted a joke but apparently not.

    • I see no issue with the comment, Two. Facebook is for cunts who think putting a French flag as their avatar will stop terrorism.

      I always thought that Channel 4 programme ‘Say no to Cancer’ (or whatever it is) was a bit mawkish and juvenile.

      Worth watching Prof. Karel Sikora being matter-of-fact on the coming cancer surge due to the NHS being 6 months behind Germany and France innpicking up screenings after the covid shutdown.

  20. Our local end of life hospice was closed due to mismanagement (charity run organisation).

    With all the time and money invested by our ‘world class NHS’ shouldn’t a few more cures for cancers have now been found and pioneered? I suspect they spend all their cash on world class translators instead, for the International Health Service. I also keep hearing from various charity organisations that basically state, cancer? together we’ll beat it’… for what seems like years. In fact I suspect it’s like the global warming message in the 1980s… ‘by the year 2000, London will be underwater’ blah blah blah.
    Then again, unlike the AIDS it’s never had the likes of Elton regularly donating millions towards research and cure…. It’s a fucked (up the arse world).

    Best wishes Dio, I hope you find some decent support for you and yours.

  21. Mrs Odin was diagnosed with the same in 2021. You and Mrs D. have our heartfelt sympathy

    May I suggest getting a second private opinion.
    It costs a bit, but may provide a slightly different outcome.

    My Mum had this procedure too and lived a full life for another 20 years, so please don’t despair. There is always love and hope.

    May your god bless and keep you both.

  22. I thank you all for your best wishes and kind comments.

    Today was a little light humour. The NHS give you what it’s known as a ‘softie’ – a false breast filled with some sort of nylon filament that you stuff inside your bra after surgery to make you looked normal… or should I say less lop sided.

    My better half had surgery on Thursday and hasn’t left the house until today. We went to our daughter who lives a couple of miles the other side of town. Ironically she’s a therapeutic radiographer so we do have an inside track on the bullshit.

    Anyhow the first job is to get the wire out of an underwired bra. That was hard enough. So then we stuff the softie into the cup and on it goes. Despite being the correct size the missus is now 38d on one side and 42dd on the other so we start pulling the stuffing out and trying to get it the right size and shape. Two hours later it looks about right.

    Unfortunately it rides up with movement and keeps popping out the top of the bra cup. If it wasn’t so serious it would be comic.

    On the bright side, the wound is doing well and there no swelling or fluid retention so she’s doing well. The pain is manageable and the bruising minimal. On Friday she gets the dressing change and the wound checked at the local surgery then next Wednesday she’s back to see the surgeon and we’ll find out the lab results. This will tell us if it’s spread so fingers crossed.

    As an aside, our daughter is so pissed off with way her department is being mismanaged and underfunded she’s resigned and got a job in cancer research. So at least someone is trying and we’re very proud of her.

    I’ll keep you posted…

  23. A real fuck Dioclese, I hope your wife pulls through. I had bladder cancer 10 years ago and I am still here so if I can do it I am sure she can as I am pretty weak willed and definitely not a fighter.

    • Seems most of us on here have experienced either loved ones with cancer or had it oneself.

      A terrible illness,
      Good luck to all cunters ,
      Your families,
      And chin up.🇬🇧

      • Spot on it’s both horrible and uniting at the same time. All of us have had a loved one go though it, lost someone, or suffered with it. We don’t always agree on all things on here. But I think it’s safe to agree, cancer is a massive fucking cunt!

  24. Lost two grandparents to different types of cancer and an uncle.
    Unc just wanted to spend his last week at home but they wouldn’t let him come home. He had a beautiful property and wanted to die peacefully in his garden but they wouldn’t let him come home.

    He had people who were prepared to look after him in the final week but they wouldn’t let him. The Macmillan staff were brilliant though. Can’t fault them.

    Another relative has adult Leukemia (sorry to the resident spell checker if that’s wrong).

    It really is a bastard of an illness.

    Hope all works out for the best Dioclese.

  25. Very sad news.
    My sister is suffering stage 4 pancreatic cancer, it’s spread to her lungs. The whole thing has been an utter shit show. Finally diagnosed in early November despite being told in July she’d got lung cancer. This was when she was in hospital with pneumonia. The junior doctor in A&E just came out with it, at this point she was on her own laying on a fucking trolley. A day later, when they’d finally found her a ward bed, the consultant categorically stated she did not have lung cancer and lambasted the junior doctor who was actually correct. This bollocks continued, scan, test, scan. Eventually she’s finally getting chemo, it started last week after over 3 months of fucking around. Fucking jug ears gets treated in minutes. Last week, she was kept in hospital overnight as she’s developed diabetes and the hospital couldn’t find any insulin. This is a specialist cancer hospital, they only deal with cancer and couldn’t find insulin. The NHS is fucked.

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