I think we can agree that over the years, this esteemed site has proved invaluable in allowing cunters to vent their spleen against those persistent, perennial individuals and organisations that blight life in our great nation. You all know the usual suspects; The BBC, shithouse politicians and ‘celebrities’, Peacefuls, tranny loons, scratters and ‘The Guardian’…
But in addition, IsAC is the vehicle to rant against the million and one annoying liitle irritants in life that can also drive you to distraction; tight plastic film packaging, gum on your shoe after some cunt has spat it out, litter, call centres, weeds…
I’m encouraged to add an item to the latter category after my latest encounter with the offender yesterday.The wife and I went for a coffee and some cake, and while in the teashop, it proved necessary for me to retire to the smallest room for a spot of navel gazing.
As is always the case in any café, cinema, store, hospital etc, the loo comes equipped with one of those fucking great cylinder drum type bog roll dispensers bolted to the wall. These infernal things can be a source of real irritation when you just want to clean up and go, and my latest experience was no exception.
You’ll know the score. You reach up for the end of the roll…and it’s not there. So you reach in side the drum to find it, but still can’t. So you roll the paper around, hoping that the end will drop, but gravity or whatever holds it firmly against the paper’s surface. Finally you just grab hold and rip a lump out, but then when more is required, you can’t find the end…
A visit to the loo should be a time for a few minutes’ of calm and reflection, but these infernal drums will make sure that it ain’t so. Occasionally I’ve even found that one of them has been ripped off the wall, presumably by some character whose patience had run out. An eminently practical and sensible solution if you ask me.
Nominated by: Ron Knee
And seconded by: Chuff Chugger
may i second this nom….as i think we have all done the drum juggle. however i do leave nothing to chance… A i always check there is some loo roll in there before starting. B if there is, i always wipe the seat clean of pubes, piss and poo first, and C i ensure the tail of the roll is suitably extracted ready for the first wipe.
its is not just these drum roll holders…even the most basic single roll wall mounted loo roll holder can be incorrectly loads by cunts who don’t grasp the fact the ‘tail’ of the loo roll should be at the outer edge (or front) of the loo roll and NOT against the wall so you have to put your hand around the back of the roll between that at the wall.
this is basic stuff…..yes, wife i am talking about YOU!!!!!!
Don’t normally use the facilities, but in an emergency, the disabled bog is efficient afterwards, when in want of a bidet, by using the wheelchair people’s hand basin.
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Funny thing, but there’s usually a bog brush in there as well, which can be very handy for rougher-arsed types if the toll’s run out.
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Ps
The Jews have it right.
Foreskins are fuckin useless.
Mines like a crisp packet,
Fuckin accident waiting to happen.
Might get circumcised?
Have it as a watch strap.
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Boastful neck warmer, is my advice, Mis. Another one is pulling back the rissole before ejecting.
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I could donate it to Neil Oliver?
He likes a neck warmer.
Something wrong with him ,
His heads all swollen like a pumpkin.
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Alright, MNC,
That’d look nice on the Rolex, wouldn’t it?
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I think I’d get mine made into a lamp shade.
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For some reason it usually happens when you’re taking a piss after a spot of recreation with the lady.
Dunno why.
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Sorry
Intended as a reply to MNC above
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I wish it to be known how deeply offended I am by this nomination. How can we even begin to discuss toilet tissue when Putin is invading Ukraine, when thousands are suffering in Gaza, when Houthis are shelling our ships and there’s a Democrat in the White House? We need to reassess our priorities where these matters are concerned, especially when measured against catastrophes which will have a detrimental effect on world order. I’m sure the Palestinians have more to worry about than where they are going to find a usable toilet roll.
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I hope you’re joking. This site is called is a cunt for a reason so maybe it’s not for your best interest to come on here😐
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Damned right, Jill.
This isn’t a University debating society, that’s for sure.
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➡️ To Mumsnet.
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That’s not for Jill.
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I assume your’re being ironic (or sarcastic) Allan?
I think one of the main reasons people come on here, other than to let off steam, is for a bit of light-hearted banter and humour. This, of course, is what this nom was meant to be about.
13
Hamas have probably got loads of bog rolls, along with the food and fuel supplies which they keep for themselves.
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Do Muslims use toilet paper? I think not.
My dad was out in Aden during WW2. When British soldiers ran out of bog paper they wiped their arses on Arabs.
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Let’s hope that it’s rolls of the legendary ‘Badger’s Arse’
https://www.facebook.com/VizComic/photos/a.115083725219750/6129210313807031/?type=3
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@jeezum priest, I know that Mumsnet reply wasn’t for me but funny thing here is, I actually registered with them 3 days ago🤣🤣🤣🤣got fed up with digital spy always rejecting my registration.
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