Adele [9]

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I smell a cunt.

If there are any bored mathematicians out there, then please tell me what is the probability that after Adele’s gushing appreciation of a former teacher on stage at a recent gig, then lo and behold, in a scene reminiscent of ‘this is your life’, and much to the harpie’s surprise, who is in the audience? – fuck me it’s the aforementioned teacher herself who is asked onto the stage.

Prearranged? I think so. What a cynical sanctimonious skriking cunt.

The cunting doesn’t end there.

After leaving the stage to replaster her mascara streaked face, she spots erstwhile cunting candidate chatty-man Alan Carr and gets him up to fill in for her (not like that, obviously)

You Tube Link.

Nominated by : Lord Cuntington of Kuntston upon Hull

78 thoughts on “Adele [9]”

    • Gutierrez is shouting about it on the news again. Talking Shop28 or something.

      He should turn the heating in his office down.

      Bit nippy in New York for a Portuguese scrotum impersonator,

      All i’ll say is; China, North America, Gulf States.

      We don’t need to hear it.

  3. I ignore luvvy-fests like the plague. I feel sorry for the lads on here (and in general) whose spouses/SO/old bag insists on watching such dreck.

    If urged to watch such shit, it would be on the proviso I could empty a bottle of Scotch down my gullet and fire it through the TV screen as soon as somebody appears who I fucking hate, and she buys the new telly..

    As for Adele, she’s lost weight but still a ‘no’.

  4. I see her inspiration wasn’t her PE teacher then.

    I bet her mates used the excuse “Adele ate my homework”.

  5. As someone who had a dear friend lose many pounds of blubber and got in shape so that he could play football again, yet was still called ‘fat’ – just as Adele is on here – may I remind cunters to carry on with such banter.

    What do you expect? This isn’t the United States of Feelings.

  7. Was it a shout out to her dinner lady, who use to give her extra potions..” yurkk yurkk fnar fnar”…
    Fucking dull porker, hurry up and choke on big mac.

    • Magnificent, Sir Mali.

      I laughed so much, I was a bit sick.

      Which is how I feel every time I clap eyes on this tuneless, untalented media whore.

  9. I find it difficult to complain about most things on here, because its mediocre entertainment I know nothing about.

    I’m more for the arts. Classical music and World Cinema.

      • You surmise again, you seem to know little about. But Ludwig wasn’t one of my favourite composers anyway.

      • The pair of you make me smile with your ignorance. Will wait in anticipation from both.

      • I learnt to play classical trumpet to Grade 8. I also like classical music but I don’t know a lot about it. But I still reckon that German was a cunt. I also wonder what the hell Kachaturian was on. I remember trying to play Prokoviev’s L’amour des trois oranges at school as part of the orchestra, that was fun as I was utter shit at sight reading. Despite playing the trumpet, I learnt enough piano to successfully play Chopin’s Opus 28 Prelude no15 ‘Raindrop Prelude’ for O’ level music.

      • Bully for you ! But it still doesn’t alter the fact why you were abusive towards Heer B. Unless he was simply unfortunately deaf and you were tone deaf.

    • Please let me know what you both like and I’ll promise not to split my sides. Maybe get in touch with the authorities to have you certified.

  11. Is she a lard arse or a ex lard arse.

    Or a lard arse who lost a load of weight and has now gone back to lard arse.

    She looks like a wannabe lard arse

  13. I’m forever complaining to Sly about them being infatuated with hamshank shite cinema. Once I got their new Q box combined with Netflix, I was overwhelmed with the amount of World Cinema from the 1930s to the present day. Individually Sly have a list of yankie cunts faces, listing all their shite without one single European, except for the occasional British actor.

    • I was glad I’d had the tenacity to foresee what was going to happen when FilmFour began to struggle with their intellectual cinema, at the time when the DVD recorders began, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to transfer valuable films to disc.

    • Perhaps try MUBI over Netflix.

      Netflix is rammed with computer generated yank shite and sensationalist documentaries.

      Better still, stick with Blu-Ray, then they won’t fuck with editing it for ‘modern audiences’

  14. I seem to remember this stupid cow receiving some award and then snapping the thing in half, just so she could signal her wokey cokey virtue by giving the other half to another even more stupid cow – Beyonce.

    “Here ya go Beyonce darlin have half o this – go on an have a butchers at that – gor blimey we all know ya shad a wan this award lav instead o me!”

    (or words to that effect)

  16. I think you cunters are far too hard on Adele. Her songs are very biographical. I particularly like Rolling in the Grease and The Stewer* Has it.

    *Some of you foreigners may not be familiar with this American Sountern term for someone who cooks stews…beef, rabbit or in her case hog.

  17. First female US Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Conner in the Dead Pool anyone?

      • It’s that global warming killing them off. That’s what I was told by my betters swanning it up in Dubai. Fuck me, wish I was there rather than usual cold, dark and damp Britain.

      • Fuck me, another one who sees a snowflake and cares.

        Was she really an enchanted blue bottle?

      • Carkes, yet again changing what I have written.

        It’s just changed Carkes to cake.
        Definitely changing from mobile to Frisbee.

    • Met Brigit once in Manchester. She played clarinet with the Halle Orchestra. Very nice woman,

      Also fab as Thelma.

  18. Wasn’t that Emma dozy shite bag Thompson waffling on at the beginning? JC what a stench there must have been, with her minge, Fat Addle’s, and… Mrs McKodogo’s…. You look just the same, still as blick as ever.
    Thanks, Addle. You look stunningly… lardy.

    • Not fair to compare the lady in the clip with bloody Adelephant.

      That lady in the clip is lovely, My nuts would be flat as a pancake and gasping for air to return to atmospheric pressure after several goes on that.

      • Agreed. Big girl but really sexy with it. Have met a few in my time and briefly dated one. Chunky that is, not a burlesque.

  20. Considering her penchant for smoking the radiator hose these days, I would say her dramatic weight loss is most likely down to contracting the Africa In Deep Shit virus.

    • Ginger (anag) spunk is highly corrosve and is a known mutagen. If she has been partaking of the black pudding, she is going to age at 10 times normal rate. In a couple of years she will look like zelda of Terrahawks. Fat trollop.

  21. I’d pay to garrotte Alan fucking Carr, poncey voiced mincing twat. Can’t stand the sight of the fat cunt.

  24. i know nowt about Adele.
    so judge her by her header pic.

    Looks dead cheerful!
    merry, lot of fat lasses do.
    could have a laugh with her in a pub and don’t have to watch my language.

    Fat knackers love a bit of swearing,
    Bernard Manning
    Peter Kay
    John Candy
    all liked swearing and a meat pie.

    Naw , she may stink in summer like a council tip,
    and lose a leg to diabetes but least she can have a laugh.

    cheer up luv , you like black nudger that’s your business.

    shave your clam so his head does velcro when he’s chewing your flaps👍

      • Crying with laughter, I’ll never be able to look at velcro in the same way again.

        You dog.

      • yeah she’s lost weight, but she still THINKS fat.
        in her nut she’s still a behemoth.

        she’ll relapse.
        found face down naked in a trifle.

        she’s meant to be a chubster by Nature.

        she looks like Karen carpenter now .
        miserable fuckin skeleton.
        Gets dumped off kunte kinti?

        balloon up to 37stone.

      • I’m a little disappointed Cunt Engine.

        I was expecting to see a PG Tips monkey in a tutu or something.

        I hope this won’t become a habit.

      • Karen was a better singer
        Karen was also quite tasty when she had a bit of meat on her.

        I agree that Adele with relapse spectacularly. Maccy Dees is her natural habitat.

        And that she simply stinks of chav and no class. Reeks of it.
        And all the fame and money will never alter that. As the saying goes, you can put a ribbon around a turd. But, at the end of the day, it is still a steaming turd.

  25. And no Thomas I wouldn’t.

    I judge the beauty of a woman by what’s in her heart,
    is she kind,
    is she romantic,
    does she like animals.
    Not by their looks.

    that’s both shallow and mysoginistic.

    Also knowing she sucks the liquorice wand turns my guts😁

      • oh it was a picturesque drive through the Derbyshire Dales.
        and it seems JP that a lot of those potholes have been fixed?!!

        maybe from the income raised by the clean air charge the robbing bastards.

        But a easy job really for a friend’s daughter.

        I do like Sheffield and it’s people.
        Like Brummies they tend to be quite friendly.

    • Yes, that’s a good point. I’d also never touch a bird after she’d had a black truncheon up her now floppy fanny, any more than I’d touch a bird who’d been with a camel rider.
      A previous chinky or other slanty eye would be okay. At least she’d be craving a normal-sized tassel.
      Liberal Liquidator…I was going to reply but there’s no reply button after your post, thanks to the current Harvey Pricedness of the site currently…that’s also why I’ve barely been posting at all.
      Actually, maybe I’ll try posting on the PC.

  26. Thomas, I do hope you haven’t been restraining due to the lack of a reply button, which are apparently both breeding like rats and/or vanishing like mist in hot sun.

    I simply post with the note

    This post is for…
    They get it.

    This post is for Thomas the Cunt Engine,
    known in some circles as Throbbing Nudger.

    • Thomas @

      Adele may think she’s progressive indulging in safari park swinging and doing the David Attenborough.
      But when she’s down the doctors being told

      ” I’m afraid your stage 3.
      yes, it’s Coco pox.”

      or on medication for jungle boogie she’ll realise how dangerous this is.

  27. I hail from South London so not far from the ” selhurst school “. Knew someone who used to work there. The rumour had it she loved to let rip and would waft her fumes at fellow students. Could be bullshit, or not….

  28. “Is that a bacon butty I see before me?”

    Hmmm – it seems that Adeles vertical bacon sandwich does not appeal greatly to ISAC’s finest.

    With good reason.

  30. The whaling harridan that is Adele is shit.

    She sounds like an autotuned spaz. Either that, or a Speak and Spell on hormone pills.

    As for the teacher bollocks? I bet Adele was a total cunt and a troublemaker at school (not unlike Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Something else). I bet that this teacher couldn’t wait to get rid of the fat little chav. And I also reckon she got zero qualifications and all.

    But, of course, she became rich and famous. So, said teacher is now making out she was wonderful and that all was rosy in the garden. But I bet it wasn’t. The way some jobsworth cunts arselick luvvies and ‘stars’ is pretty sickening.

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