‘B-b-but you’re not dog friendly’, the dog owner wails on a business’s Farcebook/Twatter/Instacunt page, as if not allowing dogs on the premises is some sort of original sin.
Heaven forbid that some of us may not like dogs, and may ourselves want to access public and private spaces as well. How heinous we are for not enjoying the delights of fleas, slobber and loud, incessant barking.
Quite frankly I welcome it when some businesses buck the trend and have an ‘assistance dogs only’ policy – some dog owners need to realise that the world isn’t tailor made for them and their mutt.
Nominated by OpinionatedCunt, link by C.A. who says “please add you own in future”.
No blacks, no Irish, no dogs.
Happier times.
23
And no smelly pakıs either, eh GT?!
25
And no Goddamned Trannys!
13
No hawkers or Campbell’s.
3
Many decades ago now, one of my uncles worked alongside an US ex-serviceman, black as the ace of spades, who’d decided to stay here.
He went on holiday one year to the North of Scotland, as he put it when he got back
“I went into this pub, I think I heard a couple of them say something like doon ye do (duine dubh: black person) but they were real friendly, up till they asked me my name and I told them, and then was asked to leave…”
Being black: ok
Being a black Campbell in MacDonald lands: oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…
3
That card in the landladies window would always make me laugh and think what the poor dog had done wrong.
2
Wish Barbara Woodhouse was as good at controlling the other two, then we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in now.
3
That didnt take long.
0
Damn right. I adore dogs but they’ve no place in almost all businesses.
What’s with the recent spate of dog attacks too?
Weak, lazy owners not taking the time and care to train and positively discipline their dogs properly, that’s what.
18
What TTCE wrote, spooky he read my mind. Ah well back to the foil balaclava. But very very true.
3
Dog friendly businesses are booming,
Pubs , cafes, holiday getaways,etc.
But it’s a businesses choice.
If you want dog friendly you can find it.
You want somewhere without dogs,
You can find it.
It’s not a issue .
I won’t go anywhere without the dog.
Sunday dinner in the pub the dogs sat at my side.
We hire a holiday cottage?
Dog comes too.
Now they should have spaces with a ‘no foreigners ‘ policy!!
That I’m all for.
29
Ps
You’d like MY dog Opey!
Smiling at you,
Showing off some impressive dentistry!
Saliver pooling at your feet,
A deep growl to say hello!
11
just never smile back, haha.
Also, never smile at Chimps. It’s a sign of fear and will cause them to panic.
1
Not me MNC, I had an encounter at Weatherspoons here on the sea front last summer. Was a nice day and me and Mrs Gravy were enjoying a few cold ones sat outside in the sun, dog was no bother was sat in the shade under the bench, when the cunt manager came outside and told us to drink up and leave as dogs weren’t welcome on the premises. I tried to reason with the cunt that he wasn’t no harm, wasn’t bothering anyone else and as technically he was outside so not on the premises he was having none of it and came back 3 times to reinforce the point before I’d finished my pint. By this time I was seething and told the cunt he had best fuck off. Sensibly Mrs Gravy suggested we leave at that point.
Now it’s pretty much a rule that no pub gets my money unless they are dog friendly. Fuck them.
6
Spoons in Whitby by any chance?
3
Wow.
What a dick!
You should of said fine give me a refund for the drinks.
I’ve never had any issues,
If I’ve not been before I ask,
But always told bring your dog in.
Although this is mainly around the Peak District, Derbyshire dales area.
His loss pal!👍
2
LC
No Weston-s-Mare Somerset, so if you thought it was Whitby which is the other end of the country it shows they are cunts everywhere I suppose
1
MNC
If that is their policy then it is their loss, loads of dog walkers on that beach in the summer. Loads of passing trade lost. Can’t see the problem in a well behaved dog sitting outside myself.
3
Wetherspoons managers are jumped up cunts on the same wages as check-out girls.
3
The Spoons in my town is a safe haven for freaks as far as employment goes.
I had a couple of pints of Thatchers in there yesterday, and of the 3 bar staff – one was the local transexual (I’m not sure which way the switch is going but there’s an odd metamorphosis clearly taking place), one of the other bar staff is what appears to be an overweight, partially sighted, retired sumo wrestler and the other was difficult to identify as they were wearing a Covid related (I presume) cloth face mask.
Having said all that – I still do enjoy a pint in Spoons. Only decent cider on draft in the town.
Unless you like fucking Strongbow and it’s Dark Fruit bastard love child.
1
I don’t take my dog shopping or on an evening out. He goes on walks, I’m sure the opinionated cunt who made this nomination will be fine with that?
It’s a fine line with people who don’t like dogs, a little like men who prefer their women to be other men, they can seem normal but in the back of your mind you never really trust them.
14
Seem normal? Not in my fucking world.
10
Nor mine either Freddie.
Morning all.
7
Thing is, I get the appeal with dogs but things like slobber, butt sniffing and poo eating mean they’re too filthy to have a place in indoor businesses. It isn’t their fault they evolved that way but it is how it is. Plus they can have a tendency to snap suddenly as well – as the recent spate of attacks shows.
4
My dog doesn’t slobber, doesn’t eat shit and certainly smells a lot better than a lot of the cunts I have to endure queuing next to in shops and the like.
If a dog snaps it’s because someone has been a cunt to it or it’s got a cunt of an owner who hasn’t trained it properly. Either way the human is at fault and is the cunt….
4
And that’s the point of the nom. Many owners don’t know how to train their dogs properly so they should be barred from indoor establishments until that changes.
7
I’d rather have dog friendly establishments than child friendly ones.
I remember seeing a sign outside a pub years ago……” No children allowed, we are not a family friendly pub ” 😀
We went straight in.
Brilliant, no screaming brats 👍
Happy days.
Good morning.
31
My kind of establishment that.
Found a place last year out in the sticks about 45 mins drive from me. No children, no tv, no jukebox, no fruit machine. No lager, just ale served from the barrel and cider likewise. Food ploughman’s only, nothing else, all made from local farmers stuff. Dogs welcome. Huge beer garden.
Heaven
9
I remember that being the case with a lot of pubs growing up. Even the tourist pubs that sold in Devon and Dorset had a policy where children were only allowed in the beer garden.
Most pubs in my home town really were public houses, with rooms knocked through, full of smoke and the bar with staircase behind it going up to a normal flat.
1
*sold food
0
In these straightened times, more and more businesses are becoming dog friendly 👍
At the rate that shops are shutting, it’s hardly surprising.
11
Got to disagree with this one. I’d rather spend more time with the dog than almost any human being alive. People are cunts, dogs aren’t…
19
Is the right answer 👍
Morning, LG.
9
Afternoon Jack 👍
1
Think that applies to animals in general. Leave them alone and they’ll do likewise. Unlike some cunts.
4
The balloon lipped insta-bints who bring the tiny handbag dogs into supermarket and think nobody will mind, because they’re ‘special people’.
Cunts.
26
Aye special in the sense of care in the community. Daft cunts.
4
couldn’t agree with you more, got 5 dogs and had dogs for 40yrs. Whenever people visit Mrs civvydog and I the dogs are put away unless the guests want them out and the Doberman and Rottweiler are walked at night in the woods these cunts who inflict their mutts on others are like most modern people selfish entitled twats.
24
Doberman and Rotweiler.
Nobody’s robbing you and getting out alive.
2
They’re a bit like kids in that no-one minds a quiet well groomed one, apart from certain religious types.
But no-one likes a noisy stinky one either.
Down to the owners/ parents.
9
I’ve seen a few adverts where a Parking Stanley has a dog.
They fucking hate dogs! Ever walked past one with a dog on a lead? They recoil as if you’re walking a shit flinging grizzly bear.
I remember seeing a few of the cunts running away from a guide dog at yooni many moons ago.
Give me dogs over them anyday. Although big, slavering, farting ones like MNC’s should be put down, of course.
8
Morning CB…I reckon they hate them because are honest, loyal, clever and entertaining. Everything a muzzıe is not.
And they smell better too, even after they’ve rolled in some turds.
11
I couldn’t possibly comment TCE.
I think one of the adverts was a pet insurance one. Can you imagine one of that lot paying for dog health insurance?
They must think we’re fucking mental. Let’s have adverts for trainers, showing a honky beating load of black fellas to the Olympic 100m gold medal then? Or a black fella doing a Mark Spitz and winning all the swimming golds in an advert.
Or blokes sniffing a tranny’s fanny and saying it’s the best smelling fanny and sweetest fanny juice ever (not sure what the advert would be for though, I haven’t thought this one through really.)
8
Sprint races would be quite amusing if, like with greyhounds, the darkıe runners were spurred on by the tantalising smell of a bucket of KFC in place of the fake bunny.
Even better if they were chased by sheet-wearing, cross-burning good ‘ole boys in a golf cart painted up to look like the General Lee.
12
It’s most likely that dogs don’t react well to an attempted bumming unlike goats or camels.
5
Thy would only be interested in fucking one
3
Peacefuls and their irrational fear of the canine.
Stupid cunts.
Something to do with big Mo isn’t it from back in his raping and child molesting days, if you read between the lines.
There’s no smoke without fire as they say and for big Mo the perfect human to instruct his brainwashed followers to dislike dogs would suggest that he’s had a nasty experience with one.
The dirty schizophrenic bastard.
Dogs are dirty but wiping your arse with your hand is good.
Err.. ok then.
5
i read a very sad story about ‘refugees’ being put up in a B -and-B in Belgium.
The owner’s bulldog got in to the room and one of the harmless peaceful refugees was so offended he picked the dog up and threw it out of the window, which was on the fifth floor. The dog survived the fall but had to be euthanised by a vet a few hours later.
#refugeesWelcome?
i’d burn the one who did that.
7
Afternoon CP.
I’d feed the bastard to a pack of starving wolves.
And watch.
4
Well we don’t know if MNC’s dog is a farter. But I bet it would look good on that Tara Jay object yesterday.
4
When you say “on” that Tara Jay life form CM, I presume you mean tearing its throat out? I certainly hope so.
5
That or the bollocks.. Not fussy, eithers good.
2
Morning Cuntymort 👍
It certainly gets blamed a lot but whether it’s always the culprit is hotly debated in our house 😁
2
Is the culprit normally your missus, MNC?! Or does she claim, like most birds, that she doesn’t fart?
3
I’ve never heard her fart Tommy!!
Not once.
Obviously she must do,
But they’re beyond the range of the human ear.
The dog can probably hear them?
Bet it seethes with injustice at being framed by the slack arse missus?
4
Ah, it’s you Mis, Good work.
1
I’ll raise the point as no-one else has. Dogs are often substitute children. This was always the case to some extent but seems to be much more prevalent in recent times. Young couples either side of us for instance, stable, been together for years, no kids, both keep dogs. I suspect the fragile state of the economy has a lot to do with it. If family finances go tits up you can more easily get rid of the dog.
7
Indeed.
Also, unlike kids, you can kill and eat your dog if times get hard.
6
Morning Ruff.
I did think of that but I didn’t say it to spare the dog owners feelings. We’ve three cats but wouldn’t be worth eating especially the seventeen year old; he’s just a bag of bones now.
And happy birthday in advance. Has Mrs Creampuff still got the bubble car?
3
Morning Arfur, and a very happy birthday in advance to you too! 👍
Unfortunately, Lady C’s bubble car is currently out of commission, so she uses the ride-on lawnmower to get to work instead. 😃
4
You can kill and eat your children as well.
1
Depends on the reason for wanting a dog. Children arent great at hunting or herding, which is why we had dogs to start with.
I think getting a dog is far more sensible idea than having children. it makes no economic sense to have children at the moment; each will cost around £200K to raise to the age of 18 and you’re very likely to end up with an ungrateful, entitled, woke phone zombie who wont get a job.
i like dogs. i don’t really like kids.
5
The Peacefuls don’t like dogs because they believe that Satan lives inside them or some such bollocks. A pity they don’t feel the same way about goats and under age girls. Lucky old dogs I say.
10
i think liberace lived inside my white boxer. He used to leap up on young lads in shorts.
1
Dogs are a great excuse to not mix and be anti social.
” It’s Gemma’s wedding next month, you need a tuxedo!”
Can I bring the dog?
” No of course not!”
Give Gemma my best wishes.😁
I don’t go weddings, christenings, baby showers, Tupperware parties..fuck all.
People put it down to my eccentricity.
‘ He won’t go without that dog”..
Same in the beer garden.
Some cunt wanders over
” Oh what a fine looking animal!
Is it friendly?”
No.
It takes after me.
Go sit down an stop mithering.🙄
7
Have you been speaking to my wife? Not a problem, of course; just asking…
2
I am a devoted cat person and I never take my cat…Boris Wolfgang Cuntster…anywhere. He’s a Norwegian Forrest Cat (lovely plumage*) and he’s huge..well over 20 lbs.
*He woke me up early this morning while “pining for the fiords.”
9
Plumage?
That’s feathers.
You mean coat?
Not mistaken a turkey for a cat have you?
Gobble gobble!
8
It’s from Monty Python’s Dead Parrot routine. The bird in question was a Norwegian Blue and he wasn’t dead he was pining for the fiords.
It was an archaic reference.
Never mind.
10
This one?
https://youtu.be/vZw35VUBdzo
Monty python was very English humour.
But was massive in the US!
It surprised me , same with the music of Jethro Tull.
Stadium fillers!
1
If you’d ever even seen a Norwegian Forest cat, you wouldn’t question plumage, rather than fur, truly, Mis.
They’re fucking enormous.
They have tremendous padded feet, thick with fur, so they don’t stick to the ice. They ain’t your usual domestic cat.
Like Bengals. Where “suitable” domestic cats that were deliberately bred with wild Bengals cats ( not to be confused with tigers).
The results were terrifying, smallish cats, supposedly domestic, aggressive and attacking anything that moved.
I’ve a cat, he’s part Bengals, happy as Larry, but he’ll scalp you if he doesn’t like you.
Sis has to sit on the edge of the sofa, Dexter really doesn’t like her.
1
Dogs are brilliant, but I can’t see how establishments being dog friendly in the UK work.
I suppose it would be OK in pub beer gardens in the summer.
This is a brilliant dog water park near Barcelona……Perros al agua.
https://youtu.be/SVTYGEi3A4Y
4
Artie@
It seemed to really take off as pubs started to suffer.
What was once solely a rural pub thing now has loads of pubs, cafes, following suit.
They hand out water bowls and dog biscuits.
A family out for a walk with the dog is passing trade!
3
I used to enjoy a drive out to a country pub on a Sunday.
A ploughman lunch or a baked potato.
There would be an open fire and always at lease one dog peacefully sleeping in front of it.
Out of interest I looked up some of my favourite pubs from many year’s ago.
They are all fucking gasto pubs now, whatever that means.
If a dog is well behaved as most of them are, they are very welcome on bar and restaurant terraces here.
And there are always a few bowls of water put out for them.
I miss my dog.
6
Try taking your pooch to a Kirean restaurant
5
Korean.
4
You wanna rabladoodre stricky libs?
3
or anything in the animal kingdom.
Ever seen a korean seafood platter?
It looks like the stillborn lovechild of The Blob and The Alien Queen.
1
How many dogs have you met that you could genuinely label ‘a cunt’ ?
Now apply that to humans.
It’s fucking moron owners who let their pet shir all over the place gets my goat, ill go and shit on their doorstep if I know where they live.
Did it once too but it was their driveway so prolly doesn’t count.
4
Aren’t you an Admin, OC?
First sight of madness that, talking to yourself. 😁
2
sign… 😡
2
Used to be but got locked out of my account. Can’t figure out how to get back in and in any case I’m swamped as it is.
4
Hmmm.
Mixed feelings about this. Was pretty well brought up as a dog – a Yorkie was senior sibling and I had two Alsatian stepsisters – and I am in general in favour of well-trained dogs such as myself being allowed some latitude.
But since half the population decided it couldn’t endure Covid without buying a fluffy little mongrel with a weird name and cute googly eyes, the situation’s changed. There are far too many of them, and most of them can’t even walk at heel. Though it IS fun to watch a hapless owner being tied and tripped by a circling pair of shihtzoodles on long leads…
The local footpaths after rain become a Flanders-style morass, and a few, I stress, a few owners still cannot be arsed picking up the shit despite posters and shitboxes everywhere. Assuming I could find a quiet country pub not jammed with pretentious cunts eating elaborate artworks at incredible prices, I would not welcome being barked at or slobbered on by a random choice of dog, while enjoying a pint, or as it might be in your dreams, an ebullient little Pinot Noir from the winebox in the cellar.
But as pubs are all now tourist traps offering drink at four times the price of anything similar in the Co-op, and the few local clients remaining are habitual drunks too pissed to realise they are being bored senseless by their friends, that is academic.
The practice of leaving water bowls out for the dear doggies is more than deplorable, though, as it invites infection of many mutts if one drinker is diseased. And any food offerings are an open invitation to pigeons, about which a separate cunting is well overdue.
As the cunting is not about dogs but their owners, on balance, yes. Entitled owners are indeed cunts.
4
Never trust somebody who doesn’t like dogs.
That is all.
5
I like dogs but I wouldn’t have one. They’re too much trouble. It’s bad enough having to put up with that cunt of a cat Gerald that the wife the wife dotes on, the fat fucker (the cat, not the wife).
Afternoon all.
6
So, never trust somebody who doesn’t like a filthy, shit eating, slobbering, potentially dangerous animal directly descended from wolves? Sorry but even some farm animals are more hygienic.
7
Dog’s are usually good judges of character.
6
Somebody’s been bitten as a kid.
3
Not liking dogs doesn’t make someone a bad person Herman. And no, I wasn’t CG but nearly was on a few occasions – on one the owner even laughed as the dog chased me down the street.
2
Like the McCanns?
Allegedly.
3
I like dogs as long as they’re someone else’s. I couldn’t be arsed with the getting up at sparrows fart in the middle of winter to take a dog for a walk. That’s why I prefer cats. The saying “dogs have masters cats have servants” rings very true.
8
For what it’s worth I went round to my cousin’s for her wee lads birthday not long after I damaged my ankle. Their dog slobbered all over my walker boot. Disgusting.
4
Did it try to hump it OC?
6
Disgusting indeed. Poor dog. It’s very hard to keep walking boots in an inoffensive state. Have you tried Odor Eaters (TM) insoles…?
0
Given that dogs and humans have lived together for at leaat 15,000 years (far longer than humans and cats or any farm animal) a dislike of dogs is an admission that you aren’t quite human.
4
‘Everyone who doesn’t like dogs is a bad person’ – Cuntamus Prime, 2023. Let’s just ignore some of their filthier habits eh?
3
Easy to ignore when compared to the benefits.
You have an irrational hatred of dogs, thinking they’re all disgusting and dangerous. because of the behaviour of the poorly trained ones whove slobbered on you and -tellingly- chased you. You also ignore the 15,000 + years of selective breeding from the grey wolf, pretending thdy’re the same animal… fine.
My brother is the same with cats. I don’t know why. He just hates them. He regards them with the same level of disdain as rats.
I dont think you’re a bad person – that was a joke – just irrational.
0
This whole “service animal” thing seems to me another example of how soft and mentally ill we have become. I think most of the liscences are just people making claims so they can bring their animals into places with impunity. Either way the word cunt comes to mind. Same shit happening with handicap parking tags.
I wonder if a blown glass gallery would mind if I bring in my service ox.
Stupid shit.
7
Service animals are a good thing though aren’t they? I mean…
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endal
The parking things are something else though. They thoroughly piss me off, mostly used by cunts as an excuse to park in ridiculous places.
1
And what about the cunts who dangle their dogs’ bags of shit from trees like fucking Christmas decorations. Fucking retards, they must really believe others think “oh, they must be collecting it on their way home”. Cunts, the lot of them.
2
When I was a kid, we always had pets including up to 3 dogs. The dogs were walked every day and safely let off the lead on open land to sprint and play. At home, we’d let them out into the back garden to do their business. If they started barking one of us would go out there to see what the fuss was about. We’d quieten them down and/or bring them back into the house. Always.
Fast forward to now and dog owners can’t be arsed to walk their own dogs. Those that do seem to do a quick round the block on the lead, then back home. Probably due to the risk of being sued if their dog looked at someone with menace. The rest simply kick their dogs out into their back garden and leave them there for prolonged periods of time. Dogs get bored or spooked or both and tend to bark at the fucking wind for absolutely no fucking reason whatsoever. Do the owners investigate and stop the noise? Hell no!
So everyone else who lives around them is forced to listen to a succession of barking dogs all fucking day long. It’s like they take it in turns to subject the neighbours to their bastard fucking noise. Absolutely intolerable. These people are inconsiderate, ignorant, selfish, irresponsible cunts and I wish they’d all die of leukemia flavoured AIDS. And quickly too.
If I rigged up an air horn to send out a short 1 second blast every few seconds for a few hours each day, I’m pretty sure two things would happen. First, the shit brained dog owners would be banging on my door threatening me with harm if I didn’t STFU. Second, plod would be called due to the noise disturbance. But if a dog barks its fucking head off over and over and over again, that’s perfectly OK. Apparently.
We’re surrounded by 6 fucking households who own dogs and it’s a fucking nightmare every single day. Thank dog (see what I did there?) we’re moving soon.
6
Still in Texas at present IY?
1
Hi MC –
Yep, still in Texas but not for much longer.
Half of California and New York state have moved to TX over the last few years and it is so overcrowded now. It’s absolutely chock-a-block manic all the time. Too many people, too many cars, too much congestion, too much crime, too many houses, too busy, too much of everything. The major population centres in TX have been turned to shit by the influx of cunts. I’m sure there are still nice, quiet, peaceful places to live in TX, but they’re not in the Dallas area, that’s for sure. Or Houston. Austin is and has been for many years, a basket case of over population. San Antonio is grim. Don’t go there. OK, go there to visit the Alamo but then leave immediately afterwards.
Time to move on.
2
I hear you. I live in Corpus Christi boasting a population of about 300k. Haven’t seen major changes. Like the beach? Come on down!
2
That right there is it – a lot of people can’t be arsed to look after their dogs properly, which makes them unruly. That translates into a dislike of dogs from people such as myself.
1
I grew up one of five kids in a house where we always had a dog so I’ve nothing against them or their owners – in principle.
In practice, my wife and I also had a dog when we first got married but one of our children had pretty bad asthma so we only ever had the one as a dog’s presence made her condition worse.
Over the years we’ve grown to prefer pet-free houses; they’re cleaner, usually odour-free and haven’t got hairs on the seating, bedding and carpets. No shit in the garden either.
Yet these days it’s hard to find holiday accommodation – here or abroad – that’s not ‘pet-friendly’. I get very pissed off with this because my wife won’t contemplate holidaying in such places. How about ‘human-friendly’ just for a change?
1
I accidentally on purpose killed my neighbours nasty barking dog.
Stoned on hash and pissed off which the contestant barking which my family had put up with for just over a year. I thought back to the film, The men who stare at Goats. Anyway I digress. I spent Two hours staring out the window trying to make the dogs heart stop. The said dog was only Two years old and healthy. The next evening one of my neighbours informed me that the dog had died. The owner actually had a dog autopsy done and the barking monster had died of a heart attack.
2
Filed for future reference, although when I have tried that on low-flying aircraft it hasn’t worked for me. Maybe it will work for that animated intruder alarm of a fucking miniature Schnauzer…?
1
Do you know where Tony Blair lives? I hope so. Do pop round and stare at the cunt for us, there’s a good chap.
1
You are a Midwich Cuckoo and I clsim my £5.
0