Are cunts.

Today, while on the dialysis machine, I witnesssed two massive crows attack a lone pretty small black headed gull and they pecked it to the death.

It happened in the garden outside the ward and the crows then plucked the gull’s carcass and then ate it. It was fucking horrible.

No link obviously, but after seeing that I had to cunt the evil bullying cannibalistic bastards.


Nominated by Norman

58 thoughts on “Crows

  1. Crows are smart little Dicky birds!

    Corvids, like magpies, ravens, jackdaws are proven to have a equivalent IQ to most university students,

    But they don’t go in for the woke politics.

    I like crows,
    Yes they’re murderers
    Yes they’re cannibals

    But they know what a woman is.

    Then they shit in her hair steal her chips and laugh.

    • They also sing about how they ain’t ever seen an elephant fly… before being shot at by Denzel Washington.

  2. Having just had lower blepharoplasty to both eyes, I’d have welcomed that last week.

    • Who was your surgeon? I need some work done, would be good to have a recommendation.

      • I went nhs because I thought it was straightforward and chose local anaesthetic.
        It was 2.5 hours of torture.
        Manchester eye hospital and the guy was Omar from Jordan.
        Go for the general anaesthetic

      • Thx. Sounds horrendous with just local anaesthetic! Wishing you a speedy recovery!

  3. Black headed gulls are nasty cunts too. But that’s nature.

    • Agreed, they peck lambs eyes out. Horrible cunts, deserve some pay back.

      • Old Gregory was good at the pecking lark, only a whale did for him sometime ago.

  4. No worse than a lot of what goes into getting the flesh of dead animals onto the supermarket shelves. At least ‘them damn crows’ do it to survive, unlike the fat tubs of lard with their burgers etc..

    • Yeh, but we treat the animals with a bit of respect and despath them immediately and presumably humanely? Not like the dirty goat shaggers that slit their throats and let them bleed out – fucking dirty inhumane cnuts …

      • I think you’d be surprised at just how much meat in the UK is halal…

  5. Anything that black shouldn’t be trusted.

    Unless they are a Nigerian Prince with news of my lottery win.

  6. A few years ago I saw a seagull pecking the back out of a pigeon. The poor pigeon couldn’t fly and was stumbling away, trying to escape while being eaten alive.

    In this case, I am in the side of the crows. Gulls are evil bastards.

      • And their shit destroys the paint on your car.

        Truly the chavs of the avian world.

    • That is how dogs eat their prey.
      Crows are no more cannibal for eating a seagull than we are for eating other mammals. We just hide the nasty process away in big buildings and the resulting plastic wrapped “meat” does not remind us of the cute wee lamb it used to be.

  7. If I had the wings of a Sparrow
    The dirty black arse of a crow
    I’d fly from the treetops about the town
    And shit on the bastards below.

    me coat….gone

  8. Good Morning

    I have hated the bastards ever since I was attacked by one when a toddler. I had a Red Setter who had a similar attitude to them and would go for them and seagulls. Possibly the most loving dog I have had but she knew that they’re the pikeys off the skies.

  9. Captain Beefheart sang about ‘ ice-cream for crow ‘.
    There’s the Black crowes
    They hate flock of seagulls.

    Then occasionally crows turn human.

    Ronnie wood

    Johnny Thunders

    Patti Smith

    All used to be crows hanging out on a telephone line,
    Then got into rock n roll and turned human.

    Hence the term
    Stone the crows.

    • Falconreh?! Wha’s that know ’bout falconreh??

      John Cooper Clarke is a crow in human form as well. So is Noel Fielding.

  10. Captain Beefheart sang about ‘ ice-cream for crow ‘.
    There’s the Black crowes
    They hate flock of seagulls.

    Then occasionally crows turn human.

    Ronnie wood

    He used to be a crow.
    hanging out on a telephone line,
    Then got into rock n roll and turned human.

    Hence the term
    Stone the crows.

  11. These creatures earn their bad reputation. You can understand when animals kill to eat or defend their young but they often kill for the sake of it. I’ve seen them attack new-born lambs for the hell of it and the most unpleasant aspect is that, being birds they go for the eyes. A thing to remember if you are ever attacked by a bird. Two years ago we were delighted to see a pair of robins nesting in our garden. We knew there were magpies about but didn’t appreciate at the time the risk they posed to the robins. Four eggs appeared in the nest and all hatched into healthy chicks. Then one morning I walked out and found all four dead, scattered across the lawn courtesy of the magpies. I found where the magpies were nesting, destroyed the nest and cut down the tree and when they returned they discovered that they were unequal to the business end of a .22 at short range.

  12. I got stopped last week from boarding a plane with a crow..

    But I was OK after a explained it was a carrion..

  13. There is a species of Carrion that finds a mate, and they are then stuck together as a pair for life, they’re Velcrows….

  14. This cunting is discriminatory. You’re targeting the crows because they is black. #crowslivesmatter

  15. Gulls are the cunts! Crows were probably getting their own back because the gull had fucked up their nest and eaten all their eggs/chicks.

    One less shitehawk to worry about.

  16. Is that the three eyed raven I kept hearing about..
    Or Russell crowe at the jellied eel bar.

  17. We have a crow that feeds of the birdtable , it picks up the bread dips it in the water tub a couple of times then eats,

    None of the others do this. ..🪶

  18. I generally love birds me (both varieties ooh err..)

    Blackbirds, Bluetits and Goldfinches are the most welcome of visitors to my garden.

    However, I fucking hate Seagulls and Magpies with an equal passion.
    Evil scavenging, murderous wastes of fucking oxygen.

    I hate Carrion Crows and Rooks nearly as much but not quite.

    Pigeons are a bit of a nuisance but don’t particularly bother me.

    • Wood pigeons have the most annoying repetitive cooing noise. No wonder the ones they’re trying to attract have fucked off. Sadly I can’t.

      • If you listen carefully they are actually saying “Fuck off the coon”

      • Woodpigeons have a five-note call, and that’s bad enough. Once you realise it’s not cooing but aggressive hooting, you hate them for life. But collared doves (recent immigrants as they are) only do three notes…toot TOOT toot, on and on and on.

        Vermin. but try telling fucking Chris Packham that.

  19. Blowing the nose very hard can dislodge them. Watch your eyes don’t pop out whilst doing so.

    • Blackbirds have the most beautiful singing voices in my opinion. No need to tell Ronnie Ronalde that, due to him passing away some time ago, besides showing my age.

      • The Blackbird is the finest of all in my opinion Sammy.

        The songs they belt out in the mornings and evenings is truly one of natures wonders.

      • They certainly do, but they are a close second to the Nightingale which has the most beautiful song to listen to.

      • You won’t see one in Berkeley square these days, the chinks have eaten them all

      • You’re spot on, Sammy.

        In recent years bird scientists have been able to transcribe the songs of blackbirds. Obviously there are some variations, but most songs include multiple references to foraging at KFC, stabbing members of their own flock, the joys of looting other birds’ nests and how their lives matter.

        True story.

  20. I am a friend to all corvids. Cheerful and intelligent*, with an attractive hard edge, what’s not to like? And if a couple should develop a taste for the eyes of the cat that uses my garden as a toilet, I should cheer them on.

    *”Most” university students, Mis? I would say all, and 80% of their lecturers too.

  21. Well, the collective noun for crows is a murder. So what do you expect?

    A long way behind shitehawks in my hate list.

  22. Highly intelligent birds. Watched one pick up a bloody massive stone so it could get to bird seed underneath it and also bringing bread into the garden to dip into water to soften it.
    Scares the Magpies off and even the squirrels give it a wide berth.
    Even tried to put a early evening badger off getting bread by swooping over it. Badger having none of it though.
    Gulls are equally vicious and now far bigger pests.

  23. Crows and magpies are noisy screeching, cawing cunts. I once borrowed a mate’s air pistol to shoot them from the roof of the house opposite. A proper air rifle with a sight would have done the job, as all my shots missed and the arrogant cunts just sat there mockingly ruffling their feathers at me.

  24. The picture shows how the aerial images for my local area were captured for Google msps.
    Planes, helipcopters, even satellites all stop working as they pass over the town.
    if Vlad sent an ICBM this way, it would think it was a potato halfway into reentry.

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