Michael Mcintyre [5]

Michael Mcintyre is a cunt. I saw him on tv the other day, and was appalled at his generic vanilla stand up show. Nothing of any originality or pushing the boundaries.

The fucking wokes in the audience were fucking laughing on queue at his pathetic attempts. What particularly pisses me off is the way he always bangs on about his children and that people who don’t have children have “no idea what it’s like”. Countless stand up pieces from him on the same fucking subjects. What a self obsessed ugly cunt on every level.

The fucking wokes who follow him to feel safe in their pathetic worlds need some lessons in real life and real comedy.


Nominated by : Cuntstable

76 thoughts on “Michael Mcintyre [5]

  1. I avoid watching his “shows”.Unfunny twat.Place him in your special heater please Unk.

  2. I understand that prime time tv comedy is traditionally safe. I also understand that comedy doesn’t have to be full of effing and blinding.
    But Cuntingtyre is such an anodyne, childish, unfunny cretin. Just his voice is enough to make the blood pressure go through the roof.
    And to think he’s popular enough to sell out venues like the O2 is the most laughable thing about him.
    He seems to appeal to wimminz though and seeing as 99.9% of telly is aimed at them, we’re gonna be stuck with him.

  3. Precisely. The blame is on the public who lack wit and intelligence. Without these people, the likes of this cunt wouldn’t exist. We’ve also a fat cunt I’ve no need to mention, whose forever fleeing to hamshankland for protection

    • He’s to posh.

      But not upper class.

      He’s in comedy limbo .

      Some toffs are incredibly funny.

      This little puff is to inoffensive.

      I like offence with my comedy.

      Do a sketch about Winnie Mandelas hairy minge,
      Or piss on the front row.

      I’m underwhelmed..

  4. There are two decent comedians still performing.

    Both Yanks.

    Bill Burr and Louis CK.

    Both very funny, CK is especially funny. A bit of a wrong un in real life but fuck it…makes me laugh.

  5. McIntyre looks like a Chinky Leslie Crowther circa 1970 and about as funny as Crowther was in Crackerjack

  6. It’s that pricks feminine simpering laugh that makes me want to break the TV screen.

  7. Mr B Manning is looking down at this chap thinking “What a little cunt”.

    And as usual BM would be correct.

    • BM to a black fella:

      Havin a good night?

      Yes, thanks.

      Good to get out int it?


      Enjoyin yersel?

      Yes thanks.

      Beats swingin through fuckin trees, dunnit?

    • Fucking hell, he’d get run out of town for that routine these days. Well, he wouldn’t be employed in the first place which is probably why he’s apologising.

    • What’s Viz like these days Norman?
      I bought it for years but gave up around the time of the Brexit referendum because it had morphed into the Guardian with Tourette’s. I’ve been toying with the idea of buying it again but don’t fancy spending 4 quid to be sneered at and called a thick cunt just coz I’m white and British…

      • The free Christmas calendar (in the December 2022 issue) was great. Classic album covers done with Viz characters. It still has its moments, but it’s not as funny as it used to be.

      • I had the original Viz-sold around pubs.
        I supported it for years and you are absolutely right about it still having some good content.
        35+ years, it has had a good run.

      • I still enjoy Viz; get the Xmas annual every year. Love ‘The Broon Windsors’ and ‘Cockney Wanker’.

      • Viz has been toned down considerably since they had to withdraw their “ Thieving gypsy bastards comic strip because it upset those romantic vagabonds of the road , that’s Pikeys to you and me

    • I used to love Viz magazine.

      There’s still some decent and funny stuff in there but when you consider the rich comedy pickings that are clearly on offer nowadays, which they choose to avoid, then it just shows them for the gutless cunts that they are.

      • True, Herman. Gays, trannies and migrants are verboten, untouchable.

        Viz did a piss take of a ‘Typical English high street’ not so long ago. And there were no ‘Turkish’ barbers and there was not one Dooshka. P@K!, or Treeswinger on it. When we know that every town centre in the UK is infested with them. And there is a ‘Turkish’ barbers on every other street. There’s four on the main road in Prestwich…

      • I remember that one Norman.

        Mobile phone shop, pawn shop, betting shop etc which is fair enough but while at the same time conveniently ignoring the multitude of kebab shops, takeaway joints, peaceful taxi services and middle Eastern fucking barbers.

        What is it with these Turkish or whatever the fuck they claim to be “barbers”?

        I counted five recently in my small local town. Yes fucking five!!!

        Every gaff all fitted out with mod cons and what have you.
        How many fucking barbers do you need in one small town??
        The nearest small town to me is exactly the same – and the next one after that

        The worst part though, is the steady stream of gormless local wankers who choose to go there and spend their money or the local women who take their kids there, all for an identikit generic haircut.

        Meanwhile local homegrown stylists and hairdressers are put out of business.
        My own daughter trained and qualified as a hairdresser/barber a few years ago, ended up getting out of it and changing trade due to general lack of business.

        You couldn’t make up just how disloyal, shallow, shortsighted and dimwitted the indigenous population of this country is.

  8. Not exactly Dave Chappelle is he? No wonder he is a favourite of the BBC. It must be hard writing comedy these days with all this censorship.
    I reckon if Mrs Whitehouse came back she’d definitely be a wokie. Don’t think she’d be too keen on the trannies everywhere though.

  9. The only time I’ve listened to this blokes humour was the link in the nom.
    Thank fuck I’ve missed everything else this twat has done.

  10. Remember the good old days? When the likes of Jim Davidson could be doing near the knuckle routines in clubs one week and presenting prime time tv game shows the next?
    Mike Reid even managed to present a childrens game show and nobody gave a fuck.
    TV bosses would throw a fit nowadays. They couldn’t reconcile the two differing acts.
    So now we’re in a situation where top class tv comedy apparently begins and ends with this prick. Or Ant and fucking Dec.

    • Yeah, never saw him myself but I understand Bob Monkhouse was a right foul mouthed dirty cunt on stage. Hard to reconcile that with the greasy, grinning wanker you saw on the TV.
      You play to the audience in front of you I suppose.

    • I saw Harry Enfield at the Hackney Empire years ago. He came on in a chariot chucking fivers around and asked “who am I?” The audience shouted Loadsamoney (remember him?j and he came back with “You’re not on the fucking television now, its Loadsof Fucking money “

  11. Marginally funnier than Nish Kumar.

    I saw quite a few of the legends, back in the good old days-Weekends in Blackpool, a few drinks, a good comedy show, a nightclub then a night of proper-hard-fucking with a dirty bitch.
    Happy Days.

  12. Now a bbcunt national treasure. Eoin Mclove, not a dry menstrual or menopausal seat in the house. Watched a repeat of noels house party and beadles about, thats what saturday night telly was all abaaahht. A lorra lorra fun.

  13. Apparently he was mercilessly bullied at school.

    I can’t for the life of me think why…….

  14. You never see him and the ex-leader of the Scottish Conservative Party, Ruth Davidson in the same room together.

    • I thinking something similar but with McIntyre and Judi Dench or Xi Jinping. I think we should be told

  15. What a Bellend, what would be funny though is the part where he creeps into a celebs bedroom only to find Pip Scholfield taking 12” of pig Pudding up his shitter from some Mandingo he’s sponsored off the cross channel dingy service.!

  16. I always had Bob Monkhouse down as an unfunny, Hebrew twat.

    Then I got to see him live.
    He was actually a very funny, Hebrew twat.

    • Bob came from Kent.
      He said that he could tell that everyone knew that because he could hear them muttering it under their breath whenever he was around…

  17. Ooooooooooooo I fucking hate this obnoxious cunt with his smug face.

    Fellow cunters, did you know this cunt in 2012 was the worlds highest grossing comedian – I am in the wrong fucking job, let me tell you!

    I’d have done his wife up the dirtbox a few back though, she was alright.

  18. I’ve always had McIntyre down as a Grade 1, unfunny cunt. Mind you, I’m not mad keen on Peter fucking Kaye either. Garlic Bread twat.

  19. McIntyre is as funny as a kick in the bollocks at a childs funeral.

    I’ve decided that it must be a case of “you had to be there” when it comes to this cunt and his particular brand of stand up comedy.

    The camera pans around the jam packed auditorium (it’s always a fucking packed auditorium as well) and you can see audience members practically vomiting and urinating themselves as they try to gasp for oxygen such are the fits of laughter that they’re in as one lukewarm, bland anecdote follows the next.

    I can’t figure out what’s causing them to laugh like that but something must be.

  20. Michael McIntyre…
    Probably the least funny comedian in the world
    Even less funny than John bishop,
    Lee Evans,
    Andy Parsons,
    Miranda Hart,
    Jim Davidson,
    Matt Forde,
    Jo Brand,
    Romesh Ranganathan…

    • Matt Forde is easily the biggest cunt in that list. Loves the immos and is an Archbishop in the Church of Blair. I hate the bastard.

    • For least funny MJB you could not beat the scouse Marxist Alexei Sayle. He was/is/always will be truly painful to watch.

      • Lots of him in a ‘comic-strip’ box-set i foolishly acquired recently before promptly heading to the local charity shop with said product .What a festival of crap that bunch churned out back then.Only Mayal gave it some spice but not much.

  21. Michael McIntyre wouldn’t make me laugh if I was simultaneously inhaling nitrous oxide and having my ballsack tickled. Looks like Elon Musk another white Chinaman….

  22. He’s about as funny as a triple dose of septic piles, the shits and whooping cough. Smug cunt.

  23. Best live comedy I ever saw was Warren Mitchell in “The Thoughts of Chairman Alf” way back in the day. It was the Alf act but with loads of f words and c words inserted. I had a guts ache from laughing and could hardly walk at the end of the night. That will never happen again I’m afraid to say.

  24. I like to entertain the pub regulars with interesting anecdotes about my bowel movements. Much funnier than that cunt’s kids, perhaps I could apply for a job presenting a BBC quiz show. Leaning on the microphone Bernard Manning style, “It took the wife an hour to clean the bathroom, my fucking dinner was late! I hope the bitch washed her hands, I don’t want monkey pox or any other fucking gay diseases.”

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