Ellie Goulding (2) – Singer

Ellie Goulding is a fucking cunt.

Who told this old Tom that she could sing?

Fuck me pink, her Love Me Like You Do song (Link below – Day Admin) came on the car radio when driving home from work tonight. I listened to her effort carefully; she doesn’t actually sing, but she talks her way through the song in a faux-breathy style.

Utter shite. I actually prefer William Shatner’s style, which was very similar on his Transformed Man album of 1968. At least his rendition of Lucy In The Sky With Diamond had the capacity to amuse. Unlike the facile shit ladled out by that tart Goulding.

I have more talent trapped under my foreskin.

Fuck off.

You Tube Link

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

57 thoughts on “Ellie Goulding (2) – Singer

  1. I disagree with this nom as I like her work. She’s one of the very few current “artists” who I actually think is ok. Just my opinion. Not sure about her politics or world view and can’t be bothered to check so she may be a cunt. Most slebz are.

  2. She is admittedly terrible. She is also a self pitying whining cunt (see my previous cunting of her. I did the first one). But there are worse than Goulding. Being tortured by the ubiquitous Ed Sheercunt on the radio for a start. Then there’s Titless Swift, anyone who is autotuned, Harry ‘closet residence’ Styles, Michael fucking Buble, all that treeswinger grime and hip hop shit, and poofter music like Cher, Kylie and Madogga.

    And let’s not forget Lana Del Cunt. Her sounding half asleep and breathing/singing is supposed to be atmospheric and moody. But it bloody isn’t. It’s just some talent-free tart whose ‘singing’ is 80% air. That is not singing.’Breathy’ singers are shit, especially this cunt.

    Paul’s plight reminds me of when I was working at my dad’s garage in 1993. Every day, the radio station would play Sheryl Crow with ‘All I Wanna Do’. I fucking hated it. Hearing this daft bitch drawling ‘This ain’t no disco. I t ain’t no country club either’ every single day made my teeth itch. And I still hate it.

  3. Her “style” is the breathless asthmatic. Sounds like dog shit. I’d bang her relentlessly tho

  4. I always thought Sporty Spice was guilty of sounding too breathy/talky; I call her The Singing Gas Canister, not that I have listened to anything she’s hissed since she did a song with Bryan Adams.

    Ellie Goulding isn’t that bad, right?

  5. whats the go with this steve smith shit,The fruit is nothiong but a fucking freak that should be shot in face at close range.

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