David Attenborough (7)

Yes, this old prat moaning about climate change at every available opportunity.
His constant whining is ruining what used to be the BBCs only worthwhile output. Nature documentaries.

This time it’s Frozen Planet II. Every fucking episode he just can’t help himself. He even blames climate change for an increase in killer whale attacks on bowhead whales.

Free the Words Link

I reckon the old cunt wanks himself off over a picture of Greta Thunberg every night. Just shut the fuck up about global warming and present the program. And while we’re at it, let’s have the RSS Sir David Attenborough name changed back to Boaty McBoatface like it should be.

Nominated by: Duke of Cuntshire

112 thoughts on “David Attenborough (7)

  1. There seems to be a lot of old cunts who have caught the tree huggers disease these days. It’s not unusual for people of that age to catch religion as they become aware of their diminishing mortality. This is just the new religion…..save the world, save humanity from it’s own deadly sins and stupidity!
    And like any religion there is no room for facts and reason…..it’s all about faith, oh my brothers and sisters.
    Listen to the child saviour, Greta Thunderpants, sent to teach us the error of our ways.

    • Absolutely. To suggest to these people that if there is climate change, it’s natural, is akin to popping down your local mosque and telling Achmed that sky fairies don’t exist.
      Who’d have predicted, that in the 21st century, a new religion could be invented and blindly followed by so many?

    • His brother made me laugh,

      “Darling!! How lovely to see you!”

      Right little puff😁

      Davey I liked as a kid.
      His animal shows caught my interest.
      Never actually seen him anywhere near any animal?
      Probably worried a lamb would gore him?
      But I still learnt from him.

      And now it’s my turn to impart my knowledge to Davey.

      Shut your fuckin yap.
      No one gives a fuck what some elderly fruit like you thinks about the weather you fossilised Gaylord.
      Now show some lions fuckin an fightin.
      🦁

      • There’s a vid on YouTube with a honey badger getting crushed by a mother fucker of a Python. I thinks it is a Hyena that comes to his aid. Once Mr Badger escapes he goes postal on the snake and kills it. Like you said hard bastards.

  2. David Attenborough, conservationist: Agrees with the BBC climate green agenda and global warming= Given carte blanche on the BBC to spout all the shit he wants at any given time. Lauded by the luvvies and held up on a pedestal as one of the ‘greats’

    David Bellamy, conservationist: Doesn’t beleive in global warming and disagrees with what a lot of the BBC are trying to push as thier agenda= never to be seen on TV again.

    • Yeah, it’s an old trick…..censorship by omission. The media are the gatekeepers of knowledge and information. On the radio this morning they said “the family of a BLACKMAN shot dead by police…….”
      Why was it necessary to mention his colour? Because they are implying the coppers shot him because he was black.
      If he was a serial rapist just arrested would they mention his colour? You decide.

    • Bellamy died in 2019, but he was indeed mothballed once he said that climate change was natural and not man-made.

  3. He has become a tedious cunt lately. I used to avidly watch his documentaries but struggle to do so nowadays. Firstly, as pointed out, they are always banging on about climate change, which is fucking irritating and secondly, they have that 15 minutes of bullshit at the end telling you how they got the shots. I don’t give a fuck if the cameraman had to be suspended by his bollocks for two weeks before the shy undulated cunt-pigs appeared. Fuck off. And he’s started talking like his gob is full of cock, John Cleese does the same now, both irritating cunts now.

    • Don’t worry – they’ll both soon have fucked off from this mortal coil.
      Good riddance …

  4. Imagine the colossal ecological footprint of 50-odd years of this hypocrite aeroplaning all around the world with film crews.

    • He doesn’t go anywhere.
      Just does voiceovers at the BBC offices.

      All book learning.
      Bet he’s never seen so much as a kestrel?

      Never left London in his fuckin life.

      He once went London zoo but a small monkey tugged his cravat,
      Now he plays it safe.

      • He once went to Africa, but a wee boy touched him and he screamed, “GET OFF ME YOU DIRTY LITTLE JIG!” and that was his last trip abroad.

    • It’s the film crew and technicians who do all the hard work.
      Tearing their way through areas of natural beauty in a 20 strong column of diesel Land Rovers…
      😁

  5. That famous footage of him in amongst those gorillas in the undergrowth…Attenborough was busing fingering one of the lady gorillas and he got his film crew to distract the silverback with some KFC before sneaking off into the forest and shagging the lady gorilla, who gave birth to Rio Ferdinand.

  6. I resent the accusation of being the object of David Attenborough’s nightly carnal desires.

    How dare you!

  7. All this climate stuff is, ultimately, pointless because, nihilistic as it sounds, in a few hundred million years, the aging sun will have expanded, heated up our planet to a point where no life at all is possible, evaporated all the oceans and the earth will be a barren hot little rock orbiting a dying star.

  8. The old fucker will be extinct soon, probably linked to climate change.

    Maybe as a tribute, St Greta could be entombed with the crusty cunt.

  9. I loved Life on Earth, brilliant, probably the best wildlife documentary series ever made. About time he fucked off now well past his sell by date the green shill cunt. My mate bumped into him on a BA flight to South Africa a few years ago said he was a well doddery old cunt guess which cabin he was seated in and it wasn’t Y or J.

    • Agreed Jagurapig the filming of animal behaviour and life cycles etc is excellent and cannot be faulted. The Frozen Planet 2 one had Golden eagles in the Alps snatching mountain goats and then dropping them from hundreds of feet to kill them.

      The constant climate change hectoring is fucking annoying. Luckily they are recorded so when he starts bleating on about retreating glaciers or some shit, he gets fast forwarded a couple minutes.

  10. Just because Attenbore has presented a plethora of nature programs, it doesn’t make him an expert in the sense that he has discovered anything new, he just presents what he’s had put in front of him. I’ll readily admit he knows more than most, but then he fucking should. It’s all he s ever done.
    Conservationist? What’s he conserved, apart from his overlong career and pay packet?
    Jeremy Clarkson has driven more cars than most, but that doesn’t mean he’s able to design or repair one.
    All his ilk do is parrot other peoples knowledge. And in the case of climate change, debatable knowledge at that.

  11. Has Bill oddie been cancelled?
    Don’t see him anymore?

    He’s notoriously difficult,
    Suffers from depression,
    Cantankerous, easily triggered, bit mental.

    Dunno if he’d go along with being told what to say.
    Probably kick off,
    Start screaming
    Slash his wrists on camera or summat..

    Hehehe
    Start of Springwatch
    Just a pair of little wellies hanging from a low tree branch.

    • Wasn’t it Oddie who said something about “stopping white people from breeding”?
      Pity that never occurred to his parents…

      • I heard he was a right rude cunt to fans, autograph hunters etc

        I was surprised, I like the Goodies as a kid,
        Thought he’d be nicer?

        But mentalcase or not if he was rude to me id slap the little fucker semi conscious and dump him in a wheelie bin.

    • Maybe its all those hours spent in bird hides on his own waiting for some bird that hasn’t been seen in the UK for decades to show itself?

      Starts seeing things? John Craven in the nuddie with only a Countryfile calendar sparing his modesty?

      Chris Packham is a bit mental too, maybe its a BBC nature thing?

      • It would appear so. The BBC nature department live a mental. Or in Attenbore’s case, a senile broken record.
        Then again, the BBC news department seem to employ people who die prematurely from cancer.

      • Last time I saw a bit of Countryfile John Craven sounded like his dentures were about to drop out…

      • We should have a ISAC outing,
        All following him shouting “CUCKOO CUCKOO!!”

        Till he snaps and tries to attack us.

      • Just checked.
        Yeah he’s been in the loonybin.

        Bipolar.
        He should do a show,
        Arctic to Antarctic without a smile.

      • We could all hide in the woods with those duck call whistles. Drive him potty.

  12. The header picture looks exactly like an old Tim Nice But Dim, one of Harry Enfield’s characters.

    David Attenborough….. Boring, snobbish, blue shirted cunt.

  13. demented old cunt , I bet his wanks himself silly over pictures of Greta thundercunt that his nurse has laminated for him and wears rubber underpants so that it’s easy to clean the cum and piss and shit off his underwear, the stupid geriatric old fart need a trip to a dignitas clinic in Switzerland and put him out of his misery

  14. oh and don’t forget all those apes he kissed in Africa, I bet it was like giving a French kiss to Dianne Abbott

  15. Attenbollocks gets all the plaudits for his nature programmes despite sitting on his fat crusty arse in some recording studio in the Smoke. While the cameramen, technical crews and directors fly around the world filming a couple of minutes of spiders, a couple of minutes of birds, a few minutes of antelope and a few minutes of lions and cheetahs.

    They do the graft, he gets the awards.
    They produce a massive carbon footprint, he doesn’t say fuck all about that particular aspect of “climate change on my watch”

    Therefore he is a two-faced cunt and probably doesn’t give two fucks about the planet because he probably inwardly knows climate change is a natural event. It’s just certain industrialised countries are making absolutely no efforts to reduce their carbon emissions. But he doesn’t take them to task .Instead he goes for the soft option, as many others of his kind do, and blame the West and in particular the UK.

    It’s all our fault apparently (not his and his jet-setting film crews) just us. And we therefore must make the great sacrifice while he pontificates and farts his way to even more faux acclaim.

  16. Aww, come on. Give the bloke a break.

    If you’re right, and he’s just reading a script, then that was probably written by some spotty 22 year old, with a degree In meedja studies. In which case the chihuahua should shit down HIS neck.

    If dear, dear David actually travelled and recorded the episodes live, then he is indeed a cunt!
    But he’s in his dotage, and I can’t help but wonder…
    Who’s got him in Dead Pool?

  17. He’s got a face like the back end of a bus that has just been in collision with a hippopotamus’s uncle.

  18. It all boils down to this:
    Are people more worried about global warming or higher bills to heat their houses?
    Which? Which one is it cunts?
    Because you cant have both.
    Make up your minds, cunts.

    • This selfish cunt wants heat and plenty of it. Stripped bollock naked, dripping in sweat in an igloo.

  19. My favourite clip of Attie is him staggering out of a bat cave, over come from the stench of shit. I wouldn’t have minded him complaining, but it was his own.

  20. He should get out there and get right up close to these wild animals. I’d like to see a couple of Komodo Dragons rip him apart, swallow him whole and spit out his Gucci loafers. I’d pay the TV licence for that!
    Cunt.

  21. The night Attenbore was conceived his father didn’t fuck his wife, he opened up her cunt and put a dustbin full of rubbish down it.

  22. Its not climate change we need worry about on these programmers, it’s the climax of the muzak that’s ruined the enjoyment of animals in their natural sounding habitat. Get rid of this confounded racket and let the viewer enjoy it too.

  23. I think it fitting the daft old bore end his days by being devoured by a starving hippopotamus..

    Diane Abbott after discovering KFC ” is all out of chiggun”.

  24. My favourite naturalist after Johnny Morris RIP
    Was good natured Australian down syndrome Steve earwig.

    Now at least he actually got close to animals,
    Bit too close maybe.

    He’d pull snakes tails
    Flick scorpions dangle his kids in the mouth of saltwater crocodiles!!

    He was great👍

    Died fingering a stingray.☹️

    Bonza!!

    • If Johnny Morris was still alive, he could provide human voices for the simian characters on Black Panther.

  25. If he’d have kept his trap shut about climate bollocks and just entertained and informed us with wonderfully shot, edited and scripted programs like he used to, he’d still be everyone’s favourite very old man rather than Greta’s great grandad.

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