The Great ‘British’ Woke Off [3]

My wife watches this shit (Honest, not me, never .No) Anyway where to start:

There are 12 cunts in the tent. By demographics this should be 2 effniks and perhaps 1 uphill gardener.
However, as usual there has been massive racial discrimination. Against guess who?

We have 5 effniks, mostly not even British as per programme title. One appears to be of the gay persuasion.
A Pole who also lifts shirts. But is white.
What may or may not be a trannie.
2 Jocks, one of whom seems a bit limp wristed.
2 ‘normal’ women. Yes, just 2.

Add the completely unfunny pair of cunts who engage in ‘banter’ One of whom looks like a victim of the gay plague. The other is simply a cunt.

And there we have C4 version of modern Britain. God help us.

Great British Bake Off Article Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

106 thoughts on “The Great ‘British’ Woke Off [3]

  1. There’s another section of society ignored by this program: spaccos.
    They tried it a few years back.
    There was a ‘Stand Up to Cancer’ version of Bake Off, although it wasn’t a resounding success because once the rasberries had mixed their cakes, they couldn’t reach the doors of those high ovens.
    The producers were taking the piss, I reckon.

  2. Whites are UNDERrepresented in the TV world because we are OVERrepresented in the real world. Only we’re NOT. Most of the World is non white. A problem? No. The problem is that whites are overrepresented in the world of achievement. This is why the non whites are being artificially boosted in image and status. It feeds their resentment and makes them useful subjects.
    Achievement requires motivation, energy, self discipline, and selflessness. All humans are capable but some groups seem to want what others have instead of producing for themselves. Parasitic cunts. (By choice).

  3. Pretty soon only effnicks, gays and trannies will be allowed on the telly.
    My money is on Abdul.

  4. FFS. I noted a similar thing with ‘Celebrity Masterchef’. Funnily enough the box tickers were first to leave the playing field. Presumably because it was a competition requiring actual skill, not the ability to shout loudest about being visible, included and represented and all the other shite these over-entitled box tickers spout. The winner rose to the top on merit alone, the way it should be.

  5. I’m a right greedy cunt.
    Love a pie,
    Or a cakey.
    Fresh baked liked my granny made.

    But I in all honesty couldn’t eat anything I knew a foreigner had been fondling.

    The idea a French cunt had baked a pie?
    With fingers he’d had up his boyfriends balloon knot the night before makes me spew up.

    And a sootie baking ?!
    I’m not eating that.
    It’s beyond the pale.

    I’d rather starve than pick their pube hair out of a jam tart.

    I like baked stuff made by old crones.
    White ones.

  6. ‘Bake Off’ is a pathetic excuse for entertainment, woke or non-woke – especially since the BBC fixed it for that Muslim tart to win.
    Even my wife doesn’t watch it.

  7. One of cunts is called Abdul, that alone is fucking hilarious.

    It’s a competition between these reality shitfests to see which one is top woke.

    I watched strictly last night (well I had it one just to see the short arse dancing) but it was comedy gold, Tony Adams was more wooden than a Victorian sideboard. Leaving that to one side, the same sex couples were priceless, all I can say about the womens pairing is that the female ‘celeb’ would be more at home rolling tarmac, the fat cunt. Now the men, I felt sorry for the professional, he looked distinctly uncomfortable with his shirt lifting partner.
    Then the midget, well to be fair she didn’t do a bad job but there was a little bit of dw*rf throwing going on, the poor fucker dancing with her was about 5’11, he will have curvature of the spine by the end of the show.
    Fuck knows how he is going to do ballroom unless he just picks her up and let’s the little legs dangle 😂😂😂

    Top score for woke next series when they will inevitably roll out a tranny

  8. Could someone please explain how on Earth watching people making cake is entertaining?

    Celebrity washing up? Mowing the lawn? Cleaning the car?

    People who watch this utter shite should be executed. Slowly.

    • 🎶Cause tonight for the first time
      Just about half-past ten
      For the first time in history
      It’s gonna start baking gingerbread men!
      It’s baking gingerbread men! Hallelujah!
      It’s baking gingerbread men! Amen!🎶

      • I have literally thrown my TV on the front lawn in the past and I am amazed the one I have now has lasted as long as it has.

    • my mate at work gav watches this when we are on shift, loves it, then makes himself a pot noodle

  9. Why don’t they just have 12 effniks and be done with it. I’m sure it won’t be long….
    Channel 4 are clearly gagging to create their version of BBCs ‘Nadia’, with all the corresponding publicity to brow-beat the masses with an exaggerated, excruciating tale of suffering and prejudice that they’ve overcome to win against all the odds stacked against them by British soceity.

    N.B. any man who is into baking cakes is by definition gay (not that theres anything wrong with that of course!)

    • Unfortunately Duke they’d all have to be exclusively Pakis.

      Otherwise they’d set about murdering each other over who got the most flour and so on.

      Now I think about it if they were all Pakis the presenter would also need to be one as well,otherwise the dirty little cunts would make an IED out of a carrot cake.


      • Hmm Celebrity Ethnic Minority Pie Making & Random Savage Contestant Murder Off could well be a ratings winner.

        In Italy or Sweden for now..

      • 1st course Toad in the Hole, with a bacon buttie on the side. Off you go, lads the clock is ticking

      • That made me laugh out loud, Fuckwittery, which made it awkward to explain to my very straight laced younger what I was laughing at.
        I told her to mind her own business, as you do.
        I’m nearly 70, and I stopped taking shit from anyone, including my kids.

      • I actually do a savoury loaf, parmesan & asparagus, which is to fucking die for & never gets a chance to cool, because the hyenas are at mine, the second I message its out of the oven.
        It’s delightful warm, and of course I only use English asparagus.
        I’m such a patriot.

  10. All cunts.
    Drinking scumpy, could give a fuck, not one single effnik in sight. There’ll always be an England.

  11. Not that I watch this crap myself, but Sis is a devotee of it, and Strictly Come Mincing.
    Apparently, last week they baked biscuits. Hardly a towering challenge!
    Now, a three-tier wedding cake, that ‘ud be something.

    • Maybe they have to dumb it down, in the early stages, to avoid the embarrassing spectacle of all the clack-handed, hard of thinking, being voted off early on.
      ” Tell me, Prue, where’s the ring pull to open this egg?”

  12. Fuck a duck were in terminal decline, we’re Byzantium. I wish I died even 30 years ago fighting for the Empire.

  13. This programme as no interest to me one iota. But for the good of the country and high stakes, we can always hope they try to poison each other.

  14. Until the BBC stop shitting on straight white males, they will never get a fucking penny off me.

    They only want to know us for our money.

    My plan, if they ever darken my door, is to film myself setting fire to the equivalent of the licence fee, right in front of one of their capita goons, right after I tell him that his mother must be so proud of him for doing so well in life and that no, he can’t fucking come onto my property, the cunt.

    I’d rather do that than give anything to them.

    Failing that, I’ll say I’m a transbumder and that he called me ‘Sir’ and gave me a funny look.

  15. White people in Britain are really upity, they seem to have a chip on both shoulders. I do wish the BBC would make a programme explaining how white people arrived in the 1950’s and overrun the ethnic LBGT land this country once was.

    It’s super tolerant that white people are allowed on TV at all.

    I don’t mind a few token whites on TV now and then to be fair.

  16. I can cook.
    Egg n chips .

    I’m if being humble probably in the top 5% off British chefs.

    A man should be able to cook , incase his wife is in hospital or runs off with a black man.

    I also can bake.
    Better than the sexual deviants an ethnics on Bake Off.

    My tarts are divine .

    • You can bake MNC?

      I didn’t have you down as ‘one of them.’

      I know a cake has eggs, erm..milk I think…probably potatoes…fuck knows.

      • I have a recipe for peanut butter cookies. Three ingredients.
        Peanut butter
        Just mix ’em all together and chuck in the oven.
        Unfortunately, they taste vile.

      • Actually, LL, they were so awful that the first nibble was spat out, even the dog wouldn’t eat ’em.
        So yes, throw away the cookies and drink the gravy!

      • Oh yeah, I can bake CB.
        Pies, pasties.
        Can’t do bread though.

        My granny’s dead, my missus is a shite cook,
        I won’t eat something a wollygog has touched,

        So learnt myself.
        Bit gay I know,
        But couldn’t give a fuck when sat down to homemade apple pie or fresh steak and kidney 😁

      • MNC

        I’m only jealous. Mrs won’t let me cook. Well, she does but it takes her about two minutes to ‘tut’ and take over.

        Probably for the best. She’s a great cook and I don’t know what half the stuff in the kitchen is for. I can do toast (if it’s in a pop up toaster) and I have once cooked a Holland’s pie in the oven when the Mrs was ill.

        Felt like Gordon Ramsay.

        I’d probably burn the house down trying to do proper cooking and baking.

      • Chicken chasseur tonight, with cheesy mash to soak the gravy up.
        Meat and potato pie next time, with Hendos.

      • Breads awkward, and takes hours.
        Proving, kneading, knocking back.
        Lidl sell part baked bread for peanuts.
        It’s great. And you can freeze it.
        Why would I make my own?
        The parmesan etc loaf is a batter, that’s mixed in a bowl.
        Fucking lumps of flour shite under my fingernails.
        I don’t think so!

      • In culinary matters Cuntybollocks, it sounds like your household and mine are just the same. What lucky bastards we are, eh?

      • Fuck knows, MJB.
        Why the hell anyone would by a pizza from Greggs is absolutely beyond me.
        I only mention it, as I was in there today treating Sis to a vanilla latte ( shite, stick to the caramel one) and noticed the sign while waiting for the fucking bearded twat to finish his complicated morning order.
        Can I get a latte?
        Yes, sir ( turns away to make it)
        Twat: after 10 seconds, can I get an extra shot in that, and can you make it a large..
        And so it went on.
        I so longed to get an “extra” shot in.

      • Thank you for that, JP.
        For the record, I can honestly say that I have never set foot in Greggs.
        Always assumed it had something to do with that steaming pile of slaphead shit, Gregg Wallace.

  17. Two slices of white bread, butter one and lay slices your favourite cheese on with a little tomato slice and a little mustard for the kick.
    lay the other slice of bread on top.
    Crack an egg on a plate and beat it with a little salt.
    lay the sandwich into the whisked egg mix and cover both sides. being careful not to let the cheese fall out when turning.
    olive oil into the frying pan, doesn’t to much and heat up
    lay sanger in and turn when needed to cook both sides about 6 minutes total depending on how thick it is.
    Delicious, filling and handy when you’re out of meat.

    Students haven’t a fuckin iota

    • I was with you until tomato.
      What a fucking useless fruit when grown in this country, all water.
      Greek tomatoes were a revelation.

      • just a little tomato Jeezum for the acid to counter the heaviness of the cheese. especially cheddar.
        More quick recipes on the way, on my new woke channel
        I will dress up and transform current trends.
        Flared snow washed denims with very tight crouch , doctor martins 16 hole, grandfather shirt thin vertical striped sporting the trouser braces and a very tight waist coat.
        It will be all about the delights of offal . Skirts and kidneys anyone.

  18. And the eventual winner is………………..That recipe for black pudding was marvelous, with such a lovely texture! Er, can I still say that “B” word?

  19. Wasn’t there a poster on here, called ‘Shitcake Baker’?

    I oft wonder if it was so named because he was a shit cake baker, or just made cakes out of shit and baked them.

    Hey ho. The Henry Weston’s Vintage is working well.

  20. Spray them with shit, a bigger bunch of preverts and ne’r do wells I’ve never seen.

  21. “The Great British Shit Off” is an alternative.Bunch of freaks.Piss off Abdul.Back to your cave dear.Torch them all.

  22. Thing is this programme is a perfect fit for television nowadays. Nearly everything broadcast is utter shite. The people responsible for producing this rubbish are not even slightly embarrassed by it, on the contrary they regard this stuff as high art. I have visited the studios where the BBC make “Casualty” or “Holby City” (sorry, I can’t tell them apart) and the walls in the offices are decorated with scenes from the various series as if they were in the Louvre. One of the best indicators of the decline of television is the BBC resurrecting that god-awful BBC3 which would insult the intelligence of a sub-saharan africunt while winding down BBC4, one of the highest quality channels available.

  23. It would be those two cunts of presenters that would curdle my piss. Mrs CuntyMort will on occaision allow me to knock something up in the kitchen under supervision.

  24. More mindless pap for the short of brain cells, never seen it never will. If you want wokeyness watch send the nudes, they have a “cross section” of the British public to pass comment I have never seen such a bunch of fuck ups in all my life, homos , drag queens, ethnics etc covering every section of society who are into the alternative lifestyle and from the brief watch I had not 1 normal bloke or bird.
    A total shite fest for the terminally ego driven cunts that inhabit the interweb, bit like ” naked attraction ” another freak fest.
    As they are so keen to display themselves on tv they will be easier to round up come the glorious day when the sinners will be brought to book, who am I kidding it will the normal people who get it in the neck behind the bike shed as this cuntishness becomes more entrenched as more of us oldies croak.

  25. Hog roast.
    That’d win every time.

    Big fire, pig spinning,
    A knive to carve your own portion.


    • I love a hog roast, me.
      Not only is the hot roast hog sarnie delightful, but
      I get the opportunity to imagine an enemy on the spit!
      Never said I was a Saint.

  26. Genuine question.
    Completely off topic.

    Anyone on here a metal detectorist?

    And if so, do you really need a expensive rig?

    I’m thinking of buying a cheap metal detector and don’t want to spend a fortune in case I get bored in 3 months.

    And if so, found owt good?

    • Just always remember to ask the landowners permission Miserable unless you find the Fiddler Horde then don’t bother.

      • I’m hoping Fiddler allows me to look for viking artifacts on his land, LL?
        I wouldn’t mither him!
        just a tent up in a out of the way corner for a fortnight,
        and access all areas.

        if I found any dead ramblers in shallow graves I’d not tell the authorities!

    • There were an eastern European few around our place MNC a few years back and the had huge magnets and fucked em in the river and dragged em back with a rope obviously.
      tin cans and fishing baits were the usual haul but they got a revolver one day according to word.
      they kept everything as scrap prices were high for any metal shit.

      • yeah I’ve seen that mecuntry.

        those big magnets,
        people on canal barges and narrow boats have them.
        in case they drop keys overboard or something?

      • I was only sayin like, a decent metal detector is fuckin expensive and involves a lot of diggin for some discarded once upon time country cream gates. Buy a second set of country gates and be done with it😉

      • Evening Miserable.

        Did you catch Granny Rayner live on stage at the Labour Party conference this afternoon?

        Boy was she smokin’ hot! Bet you creamed your open crutch Peter Sutcliffe leisure wear, didn’t ya. 😃

  27. Watching cunts make buns…..
    Watching cunts dancing….
    Watching cunts dress up as women..
    Watching cunts whittle a bit of wood
    Watching cunts digging a garden
    Watching cunts on the BBC
    Watching old rich cunts being buried
    TV is just full of CUNTS…!

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