Cliff Richard [4]

We’ve been forced to ensure this muppet’s aural torture for decades now, and he’s just announced he’s spaffing out yet another catalogue of dirges as a Christmas album.

For goodness sake, please, no really, please, just piss off. You were a third rate Elvis for a couple of years in the 60’s, amongst other things??? and whether you are boring the piss out of us at Wimbledon or pretending to be a sex-symbol in your eighties, you have failed to realise that the only people that will buy your pap are dried-up septegenarions and assorted friends of Dorothy.

On the subject of Dorothy, I would like to make it clear that in no way is Sir Cliff even on speaking term with Dorothy, let alone a friend of hers, oh no siree, absolutely not, how very dare you. He has just lived with an ex-priest (ahem) for 40 years because he gets a bit lonely sometimes.

Do us a favour Cliff, fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off again, obnoxious, sanctimonious, toothy twat.

Sly News Link.

Nominated by: Termujin

With a second verse from Cuntstable Cuntbubble:

He has used Sue Barker as his beard for 40 fucking years based on a couple of celibate ‘dates’. She is pissed of with it and has finally cracked.

Shit singist and definite shirtlifter, but in a pious way.

I am just old enough to remember his shit fucking Elvis impressions. A sort of limp wristed Billy Idol.

The cunt.

Daily Fail Link.

76 thoughts on “Cliff Richard [4]

  1. The impression that fat bluenose cunt Eddie Large did of Cliff was always a bit strange. Every other word ended in weird noises and popping sounds.

    Something like ‘Hi fans! I’m Cliff Richard! *Poop!* Wanna hear my latest single? *Ahh!* It’s really great! *Pop!’🙄

    Nearly as irritating as Cliff himself….

    • I have a vague memory of that. Christ, Little & Large were never off ITV in the 1980s. Not funny, no talent cunts, not even good enough for Butlin’s, but they were the Phil Collins of comedy in the 80s, ubiquitous and irritating as fuck.

      • They were also on throughout the 70s too, Le Cunt. People forget how mystifyingly massive they were. Whenever Sid would attempt to sing, Eddie would just fuck it up and hog the stage with his awful impersonations. That was their act in a nutshell.
        Spitting Image once parodied them as ‘Fat and Useless’. A pretty accurate portrayal.

      • They seem the height of hilarity compared with what we have now.

        I remember Kate Robbins mother of the lovely Emily Atack) snorting like Eddie dou g Sir Cliff when she did her Sarah Ferguson impression.

        She was a rare funny female comedien KR.

      • Bloody hell-

        I remember Kate Robbins (mother of the lovely Emily Atack) snorting like Eddie doing Sir Cliff when she did her Sarah Ferguson impression.

      • Late News:

        Tommy and Syd are teaming up as a new double act –

        Canon and Little

        Two unfunny straight men who can’t sing, tell jokes, dance or do anything even mildly entertaining.

        I hear they are being signed up to top the bill on Live at the Apollo.

    • Little and Large were terrible. Syd couldn’t play his guitar and Eddie was just annoying. They just didn’t work as stand up comedians or musicians. They made Cannon and Ball look like comedy geniuses.

      To be fair they would have probably been better and funnier in situation comedy. Eddie could have been a drop in replacement for Paul Shane in Hi-De-Hi for example and Syd could have been Spike.

      Reminds me of a Viz joke:
      Every Little helps so the famous Tesco advertising slogan goes. Except my neighbour Syd Little who refuses to help me up the path when I’m coming home with 3 shopping bags.

      Syd Little is 79 and his wife is 47. Lucky bastard.

  2. I’m in two minds about old Cliff.
    One half of me thinks he’s just a very closeted iron and a product of his time and generation.

    The other half wonders if the shit that will come out after he croaks will put him in the paedo hall of fame with Jimmy Jangles.

    See also, ‘lovely jubblie’ and the Welsh warbler. Clock is ticking on all 3 of them.

  3. You know, all in all most of the celeb’s – singers-actors-politicians whatever are mediocre at best, piss poor generally and the dopey British public buy into it without a fucking brain cell being activated….

    When will the great unwashed start use their brains and see through the biggest con ever…TV

  4. There is a video of Cliff on Tiswas eating a condensed milk sandwich provided by none other than Lenworth Henry. He’s laughing his head off because it looks like all spunk dripping down his mouth.

    The Shadows were ace and I don’t know why they didn’t do more work with his. Cliff has always been a bit naff but I don’t think he’s a cunt.

    Didn’t he knob Valerie Singleton?

  5. Unkle Terry’s Rather hot chamber for this closet homó CUNT.
    Mk 10……

    TAKE Sue Barker and the Beeb with you. Shirt lifting back door merchant cunt

  6. Ah, the nom I’ve been waiting for. The undeniable Op Yew Tree dodging, kiddie fiddling, God bothering, shit stabbing, virginity denying, shit song writing, colostomy bag wearing, cunt of all cunts! I’m not a vindictive man but I hope they find the evidence they need to bang this irritating fucker up before he croaks!

    • The authorities are probably taking the chance that he’s beyond being a danger to the public. We could fantasies a two for one bullet, thinking who could go with him. I’m going to sleep on that one.

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