Vabbing – Splash it all over!

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I’d like to nominate “ vabbing”.

Yes folks, the act of smearing your face with clunge juice in order to attract a man.

I can honestly say, that I’m no fan of wimminz wearing perfume, I prefer them just to smell natural and clean, and one could argue that the fragrance of the clopper is natural too.

But here’s the rub 😉. What if you’re about to go out, done your hair and nails etc, and just before you head out, remember you haven’t vabbed, so decide to give yourself a quick smear from the fruits of the beaver on your way out, not realising you’ve just started your monthly.

What next? Fruity gentlemen sticking their fingers up their jacksie and putting on a little foundation.

Is there any need for this? Why not just wear a pair of soiled panties round your neck, or discreetly spike a chaps pint pot with clunge gunge, or even better, just go out and chat blokes up.

Indie News Link

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

Also noticing the whiff is Dickie Dribbler:

Just when you thought you’d heard it all.

Daily Fail Link.

Are you a woman and looking for a little bit of hot, passionate lurrve action? Then try vabbing. Just stick your fingers in your organ of matrimonial necessity (cruder terminology is available on request) then smear the resulting secretions on your pulse points, behind the ears or, if you’re really gagging for it, why not rub it all over.

If the lunatics on TikToc are to be believed the pheromones in your juices will help you pull. What you’ll pull is open to debate. Perhaps penguins, herons, otters, seals, the Spanish trawler fleet, who knows but, unless he suffers from Anosmia (smell blindness), it’s not likely to be a man.

Who thinks of this cr@p.

Speaking as a single man I wonder if kn0b cheese has the same pulling power on women? I’m not volunteering to try it to find out lest one of the ladies with an Adams apple like a basketball gets the wrong idea.

Anyone willing to risk it?

68 thoughts on “Vabbing – Splash it all over!”

  1. Reminds me of the time I was shafting some tart from behind and I could smell it’s arsehole

    • You should have plugged the smell in with your cock. Unless, you already were and she/he hadn’t had a ‘douche’ first.

    • Bloody Hell Smegma. Whenever i was with a bird and got a whiff of arse i’m straight out the door.
      I reluctantly Fucked this gorgeous bird in the arse once , when i pulled it out the first thing i saw was brown clay around my hat.
      why would anyone want to fuck a bird up the jacksy when theirs a perfectly good fanny to get stuck into ?

  2. Jennifer Lawrence can smear any of her bodily fluids on me any day iof the week and twice on Sundays.

  3. Priti Patel probably smells of a week old vindaloo mixed with a rotting stanley corpse floating down the Ganges 🤪🤮

  5. If the dodgy, incurable dermatitis around my mouth is anything to go by…. I think I’ll give this particular craze a miss.

    That being said, I’ve got Perioral Dermatitis because of all the dirty slags I munched out in my youth and can’t shift it so it probably doesn’t make a difference …. so bring it on!

    Only issue I have with this particular perfume fragrance though is that it smells like minge.

  6. Still love the pheromone scene from Ocean’s Thirteen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhTlTLNkbUw

    I hope you enjoyed that for anyone who hasn’t seen it.

    Anyway, if on the pull back in the day, I always thought a clean nether region, nay clean all over, flattering clothes, nice hair/make up and smelling a tad of Chanel No.5 was the way to go. Nowadays its a dab of vag? Unbelievable.

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