Playboy Has Beens

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I’ve just watched the 12th and final episode of ‘Secrets Of Playboy’, the Crime and Investigation channel’s hatchet job on Hugh Hefner.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15250706/

They’ve wheeled out a bunch of dried-up old ‘playmates’ to dish the dirt. Well why not? He can’t sue them now he’s dead. According to them, Hefner hated women. He drugged them, raped them, sodomized them so they wouldn’t get pregnant and even had a long lasting homosexual affair with his doctor.

What they don’t say is that every last one of them queued up to take off her clothes for the world to see, in the desperate hope that she’d become Playmate of the Month, Playmate of the Year, mix with celebrities, get a movie contract, fame and fortune and of course the icing on the cake, a wedding ring from Hefner.

It’s since dawned on these talentless nobodies that being in their late teens and early twenties doesn’t last forever. What can they do now apart from look at their decades-old pictures and try to figure a way of using their past to make some money? Write a book maybe? Get interviewed on tv?

Hugh Hefner did what any man would do, with herds of fit young women on the make begging to suck him off every day of the week and twice on sundays. What did these silly bitches expect to happen when they reached their sell-by date?

Hefner had it all, and I envy him. May his dick rest in peace.

https://www.cnn.com/2022/02/04/entertainment/secrets-playboy-women/index.html

https://nypost.com/2022/02/03/100s-of-playboy-workers-defend-hefner-after-secrets-claims/
(Additional and exhaustive research conducted by Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Allan

89 thoughts on “Playboy Has Beens”

  1. Peter Hitchens, as always, was bang on the money:
    “Leftist sexual revolutionaries don’t like the fact that the horrible Playboy founder Hugh Hefner thought he was their friend. But that’s too bad. Because they fed off each other. Our coarse, gross, pornified world has liberated sleazy men more than it has liberated anyone else. But the Left jeered at the traditional Christians who were that liberation’s only real opponents.”
    He highlighted how the Left, despite their neverending clams to the contrary, use capitalism and vice versa.

  2. If I had millions I would be shagging fit 20 year olds, there are plenty around who fuck for cash 😂

    • I always thought Hugh Hefner was a bit suspect.
      That stupid fuckin Captain hat,
      Gay smoking jacket
      And pipe.

      Looked like he smelt musty.

      The silly old cunt,
      All them gold-diggers hanging about,
      Cover up that he was a bit ,
      Well, Ducky.

      Bet he died a virgin.

      • Did you ever get to see any of his Playboy After Dark shows Mis? Circa 1969/72 Featuring such groups as Grand Funk Railroad, Steppenwolf, Thee Dog Night or Deep Purple to name but a few. Worth a look if you havn’t.

      • Afternoon mr Scunthorpe 👍
        No, wasnt aware of that,
        I’ll have a look.

      • Anyone who wears a captains hat and isn’t a bona fide naval captain is usually a cunt. L Ron Hubbard is another example.

    • Well, at least it’s a bird…
      It might’ve been that other old queen, Go Wank (anag.).

    • Anne Boleyn a spear chucker, Madge Bess a coolie. What’s next? Prince George a non binary vegan octopus in a three way relationship with his crocodile and the brain in a jar that used to be his aunt Megan.
      Yasur, strike these cunts down.

      • A vegan octopus in a “3 way!” I am trying to get an imaginary picture, but I have failed.

    • Shocked to see Lineker is in on the celebration with this Singapore imitation of the Queen.

  4. Heff lived the dream and who could blame him? His accusers are just on the make. They were happy to take his money at the time.

    I was always intrigued by Larry Flint. A downmarket Heff and a staunch defender of civil liberties (as long as the liberty in question was his right to flog photos of naked women).

  5. Thing is I’d still fuck some of Heffer’s has-beens. Being older ladies they have to work harder.

    Dribble, dribble, slosh, slop.

    • “Thing is I’d still fuck some of Heffer’s has-beens”.

      You might be confusing Heffner with the late Eric Heffer, Labour MP. Doubt you would be interested in his has-beens.

  6. A very titillating header picture admin, the IsAC horn section will let their filthy imaginations run wild on the contents of the centre spread.

  7. The only people being exploited here were the blokes paying good money to wank over his magazines. Every other cunt was making good dough off them it seems to me.

    • Seems like a case of biting the cock that feeds them. Hefner was still alive at the height of the #MeToo hysteria so where were these bimbo slappers then? Living in the old goats reflected glory, hoping a bit of the cult of celebrity will be thrown their way.

  8. A 2008 biography, Mr. Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream, which Hefner himself called, “the most authoritative book ever written about me,” includes revelations that,

    “Hefner’s thirst for sexual experience became so strong that he even had a one-time homosexual experience,” Watts writes. “One evening in downtown Chicago he was propositioned and, according to Sellers, he ‘thought, what the hell. Found it an interesting experience. As far as I know, the guy just gave him a blowjob.”

    That makes him bisexual. He was happy to have that passage in the book, made him look ‘open-minded’ but other revelations were kept out, I reckon. He probably sucked many cocks and got fucked in the ass, his entire being was all about sex, he got bored with pussy and the girl’s airhead chatter, he was an intellectual, very, very well-read guy, huge library of antique books, very philosophical guy. Many ‘straight’ men are actually bisexual, whether they have actually sucked cock or just fantasised about it and a guy like Hefner had 100% access to any and all the sex he wanted.

  9. Playboy was shite anyway.
    Too airbrushed.
    Too American.
    I liked Razzle.
    The readers wives👍
    Realistic, you stood a chance.

    Preferably found in a hedge than bought.
    Id roll on them like a dog in foxshite,
    My voice would go guttural and my eyes glaze over.
    The wonder years….

    • Maybe there was an American hillbilly version, an alternative to the glossy artificial Playboy? Trailer park wives and girlfriends and sometimes sisters.

      • By 1975, I’m pretty sure there was EVERY type of legal porn in magazine format in America thanks to Larry Flint’s legal victory. The People Versus Larry Flint is a great movie, btw, you just have to put up with Courtney Love being in it!

    • ‘I’d roll on them like a dog in fox shit’.

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      Brilliant.

    • @MNC. Exposure to Readers Wives corrupted my younger self, leaving me with a lifelong attraction to the Older Woman 💪💪
      I blame ‘ Trish, from Cleethorpes ‘.
      Her undercarriage looked like the offal section in a butchers window.
      I was smitten.
      I laughed like fuck, at your fox shite analogy 😂😂😂🦊
      Evening, pal 👍

      • Evening mate👍

        Nowt wrong with the mature woman!💪
        Remember as a youngster getting a twinge at Morticia Addams in the Addams family!
        That skintight dress,
        Witchy sexiness.

        Still would!!

        https://youtu.be/KJJA3OBoZuE

      • I concur.
        Also, Gomez Addams was funny as fuck.
        John Astin’s finest hour.
        Back when the world was relatively normal.

  10. Quite the life.
    Good for him.

    It seems some of the strippers fancy some compo.

    Tough shit luv.

  11. Here’s the episode of Secrets of Playboy where the cock-sucking and ass-fucking revelations are stated:
    https://www.actvid.com/watch-tv/watch-secrets-of-playboy-full-76621.8228254

    Be sure to use an ad-blocker on that site to avoid pop-ups.

    I’ll watch it later, but is it that big of a deal that Hugh Hefner sucked and fucked with men? Not really. He was a sex addict, sorry connoisseur, and he liked the company of all kinds of people, lived in an almost Michael Jackson Neverland type of fantasy world of his own creation. I doubt the Playmates revealed this in a homophobic, vengeful, shaming way in LGBTQ+ 2022, as they themselves are all probably bisexual, seen it all, done it all a million times over with zero regrets. There are those who say John Wayne was bisexual, I don’t know, never hung out with the Duke, maybe he sucked cock a 20,000 times. The list of famous closeted bisexuals is endless, way bigger than the closeted 100% gay celebrities with ‘beard’ wives.

    • Uch. I am watching that Secrets of Playboy I linked above now and an ex-Playmate just said when she first arrived at the Mansion, that night she went to Hef to talk to him and he was really sweet and he gave her a pill. Yeah, he did a Bill Cosby on her. Rape. This woman says she was raped b y her grandfather from age 4, too. He pilled and raped MANY women it seems, that was his warped prerogative at the Playboy Mansion, it seems. Yeah, fuck Hugh Hefner, he was a vile little specimen. Playboy should be closed down. His son Cooper who runs the tacky company now comes across as a massive cunt, too.

  12. Hollywood tarts are the same. I’ve heard a few former hotties whining about ageism and sexism (awful men demanding hot chicks in films etc.)

    They weren’t fucking whining when they were fit and young and coining it in though. They weren’t crying for the old bag actresses then.

    If I watch a film, I want fit as fuck birds in it, just in case the film is shit, which most are. I don’t want some portly, middle-aged, moustachioed, uppity bint on my screen. And birds are the same. Give them two DVDs with a younger Brad Pitt on one and Rocky Dennis on the other, and I can guess which one they’ll all pick.

    And I bet most of the tarts knew what that Weinstein was all about, I’m sure.

    “Boo boo! To get the part I had to suck his cheesy nob..”

    They all did it though. Gobble, gobble, gobble!

    Disclaimer: I know almost nothing of the Weinstein case and can’t be arsed looking it up either.

  13. There was some quality in Playboy over the years… Such beauties as Janet Lupo, Marilyn Lange, Nancy Cameron, Melinds Windsor, Patti Farinelli, Kimberley MacArthur, Roberta Vasquez, Donna Edmondson, and the list goes on and on and on…. ;0)

  14. Playboy mag was ok by me. I would read it cover to cover while at sea. Some great authors too included A C Clarke, Nabokov, Steinbeck, Dahl, King, Herbert etc.
    Just short stories but class all the same.
    The cartoons and jokes were pretty good too. He even appeared in ‘Curb your enthusiasm.’

    The lucky bastard.

    • This is true. Playboy published some great short stories. It wasn’t just a razz mag but carried serious articles as well. Sort of a cross between Razzle and the Times Literary Supplement.

  15. Like it was yesterday I remember riding my bike by a pile of junk being tossed by a neighbor (circa 1985-ish). What caught my 13 year old eyes? Stacks and stacks of late 70s early 80s Playboys sitting there! Surely I must be dreaming! 3 or 4 armloads later I had an enviable stash under my bed. My heart was beating wildly! Many were left behind but I had so many now I didn’t know how I would hide them all. After a few days I hatched a plan:
    1) Select the best 5 and hide them.
    2) Come clean to Mom and Dad and turn in the rest.
    3) Hope for the best.
    The outcome:
    They let me keep them all! I tacked centerfolds on the backs of my room doors. Dad liked them too. I couldn’t believe it! My friends were amazed.

    I’m certain Hef was a complete perv.

    • 1992: A million sexual images was endless bookshelves
      2022: EVERY AND ALL porn in a click away

      Scary. I doubt it will be around forever, though. Just a feeling I have.

  16. They were all happy living there and taking the old fools money and freebies.Now the old has been whores want a refund,tell them to go fuck themselves.

  17. Women are relentless gold diggers.
    Right up until their last day.
    When The Grim Reaper drags them to Hell.
    Good evening.

    • Evening Jack…damned right you are!
      If a seasoned chap can learn to find enjoyment in stringing birds along with hints at his wealth until he can take full advantage of their sometimes lovely fannies, he’s all set. Especially letting them believe you’ll pay for something substantial and then refusing point blank when push comes to shove, accompanied by a smirk designed to enrage their money-grubbing fat arses.
      Bollocks to ’em, the dozy bints.

      • Good evening, Thomas. I believe you have a vict…. err, date lined up for tomorrow.
        I wonder if she has even the slightest inkling ?
        I hope not.
        There’s nothing like a surprise !

      • I shall be on my very best and most charming behaviour! Like that cheeky scallywag Ted Bundy.

  18. Hefner sold sex, a “naughty Barbie” brand of beauty and glamour – the dream of a lifestyle none of the readers would ever have.
    And he made a lot of Women – and Men – multi millionaires whilst having nowhere the personal fortune people assumed he had, and I don’t recall any of these vampires stumping up or helping him when Hefner was out of favour and out of money.
    He was “a great guy” when these leeches were living off his fame and marketability, and now even more to be made trashing him when he is dead and can’t defend himself – these fuckers have the moral compass of Burke and Hare.
    Did any of these Women REALLY think they got an invite to the Playboy Mansion for tea and biscuits?
    And I don’t recall them being quite so voluble and “outraged” about the Ghislaine Maxwell trial.

    • Like those #metoo actress slags who were happy to suck Harvey Weinstein’s deformed todger for plum roles, eh Mr Fox?
      Then became all feministy and man-hating in their 40’s after all their rioles dried up.
      Take a leaf out of Sandra Bullock’s book, ya slags! You never hear Bullock being a cunt and she’s still demure and sexy as all fuck at the ripe old age of 57:
      https://images.app.goo.gl/UcMmrrq1wkCMEeaL9

      • Louis B. Mayer (co-founder of MGM in the 1920s) used to make Elizabeth Taylor watch him sit on his on suite office toilet while he took a shit. Bad enough? She was 14. He also wouldn’t allow Judy Garland to eat food to keep her weight down. Kurt Douglas raped Natalie Wood when she was 16 in 1954.

      • Be the Viking in him.
        Not as bad as Robert Wagner ,
        He fuckin murdered her!
        (Alledgedly)

      • TtCE@ – Evening Thomas – I bet dirty Uncle Harvey got a better look at young Ms Bullock than that! 😀👍
        “I went to Harveys hotel room at 3AM in all innocence about the motives of a film producer everyone in Hollywood knew was a sexual predator. Now, 30 years, 2 Oscars, a private jet, a yacht, three mansions and 500 million Dollars later I get the distinct feeling Harvey took advantage of me somehow😢 “..

    • Bet those playbunnies are right boring cunts.
      Borderline simple to start with,
      Vacunt corpsefuckers.

      I çouldnt be doing with them,
      If they came in the pub id tell one to sling their hook.

      PB “I was playmate of the year 92”

      MNC “oh.”

      PB ” I slept with filmstars!

      MNC “sigh. Did you?”

      PB “yep, sure did!
      David Hasselhoff, slyvester Stallone “…

      MNC “look knobhead.
      Im having a drink can you just fuck off?”

      PB ” …..”

      • MNC “Buy me a double JD and tell me about the time when Hugh Heffner fucked you up the arse.”

  19. Gold digging whores, the more modern equivalent is all those actresses the fucked Harvey Winestain to further their careers and now that they are there they have thrown him to the wolves…….. Me to, me to

    • It’s so easy to accuse the dead, I mean, are they going to have a physic in the witness box channeling whoever, ffs?

      • It’s the lies he told, the breaking of trust he did to people, he leaked outtakes photos of women to porn sites without their permission. Hefner was just a self-serving, sleazy guy who could have played it classier, been a better employer. He had no respectful boundaries with people. Other porn mag magnates leave the girls alone if they don’t want to have sex, those guys treat them well, it’s purely business, but with Hugh Hefner, it was a means of Shanghai-ing vulnerable women into his mansion to be sex slaves, basically. And when the stood up for themselves, he kicked them out the door and went hunting for new meat. His son is alive, I’m sure he is raging right now!

      • I agree.
        He was a sleazy, flaky, dodgy old spunker.

        He wanted this big image of being a famous cocksman like Errol Flynn.

        But Flynn didnt drug his conquests.

        Something about Hugh Hefner,
        I don’t need proove to condemn the filthy fucker,
        Gut instinct is enough to put on the black cap,
        Wrong un.

        Notice he never settled down and married,
        Like a normal bloke?

        Because he was some flavour of deviant.
        Couldn’t be normal.

      • Bingo, MNC!

        I have read Flynn’s ghost-written, posthumous, exaggerated memoir, “My Wicked, Wicked Ways” and it’s one of the best memoirs ever, even if it’s largely made-up. He was something else. But he was an honest and noble guy at heart.

        Hefner was just a creep who drugged and raped women who would have slept with him anyway, just like Bill Cosby.

      • Ive read a few bits about Errol Flynn.
        Some bits obviously over egged some bits true.
        I like him.👍

        Some of those old movie stars just got lucky and had had hard lives, served with distinction in the military.

        I also like
        Jack palance
        Charles Bronson
        Lee Marvin
        Robert Mitchum.

        Cant see any of them weeping about global warming or identifying as non binary.

      • I see you have omitted John Wayne Miserable, although he would blame his woodworm on global warming.

      • Evening LL,
        Yes John isnt on the list.
        Never really liked him although I love westerns.

        I watched the remake of True Grit starring Jeff Bridges and really enjoyed it.

        I thought it was better than the original.
        But just my opinion.

      • Bert Reynolds, Rock Hudson, Cary Grant and Spencer Tracey – macho Hollywood idols who were as gay as Elton John. Just not as flamboyant and kept it to themselves.

      • Burt Reynolds?
        Was he gay?

        The moustache, cowboy hat,
        And nickname ‘the Bandit’
        Made me suspicious….

      • Evening Miserable, funny how some classics are a bit of a let down and other less known ones are gems? Bone Tomahawk with Kurt Russell is a good one and watched Unforgiven recently for the first time, usually like Clint but it was a bit of an arse nummer

      • The Flynn book is great, very funny, scary, sad.

        Jack Palance – Air Force in WW2 and did one armed push-ups when he accepted his Oscar for City Slickers at age 73.

        Charles Bronson – worked many tough jobs, coal mines, then aerial gunner in WW2, received Purple Heart.

        Lee Marvin – WW2 Marine, got shot in the ass, saw many buddies die. Buried in Arlington Cemetery.

        Robert Mitchum – too many crazy stories to mention. Baby, I Don’t Care by Lee Server is one of the best movie star biographies ever written. Mitchum smoked more weed than Cheech & Chong!

      • Gay means a man who only likes men. Burt Reynolds was bisexual, mostly with women, but he sucked cock, too.

        Rock Hudson was 100% gay, had a beard wife at the insistence of the movie studio in the 1950s. HUGE penis.

        Cary Grant – duh! Tough he ended his days with a young woman as partner. Took loads of LSD when it was legal.

        Spencer Tracy – some say he was bi but probably just into me. He and Katharine Hepburn bearded each other for years.

  20. Can’t say I’ve not lived the life I just cannot remember any of them.

  21. Keith Richards had it right when he said the Playboy Mansion was the biggest whorehouse in America. This latest tell all shite is the Playboy slappers ‘Me Too’ cash in moment. Trollops making out that they weren’t trollops at all, and that they weren’t so hungry for fame and dollars that they’d sell their grannies. And all because it’s now trendy to bash men and blame them for everything.

    I recall Belinda Carlisle getting her whammers out for Playboy (cracking pair and all). And she says she never regretted doing it and that the Hefster was a lovely bloke. So I reckon more than a few of Hef’s ye olde slappers are telling more than a few porkies…

    Also, the odd one aside, Playboy was always a bit of a joke. Hardly any real stars got ’em off for the Bunny Mag. And when they did, they were well past their best (Farrah Fawcett, Nancy Sinatra, Joan Collins) and ripe for the knackers yard. The cunts also led young impressionable lads like me up the garden path. When I saw Sally Field in a bunny girl uniform on the cover in 1986, I thought ‘It’s Christmas Time!’ But what was inside? Fuck all! A fucking interview! I was bitterly disappointed at the time and I never forgave them for such a callous con trick.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzWi1ipVcAAwiDR.jpg:large

    • I am looking forward to the special retirement issue of Margaret Beckett giving a tell-all interview plus the centre spread where she gets her old droopers out, and coyly and suggestively tugs at her black tenaladies,

  22. Didn’t Hefner’s son give a then Playmate of the Year (Claire Sinclair) a beating? I think she was then frozen out of the Playboy Empire. So, maybe there is something in it after all?

  23. Seems like an accurate indictment of most the women i have met. They have all used stealth cunningness and will do the most disgusting things to obtain money and security.

  24. Always the same. Wait until some cunt is dead the start muck raking. The say what they like for their 15 minutes of fame, why not do when he was alive, he would sue and take them to the cleaners. Fucking cunts all of them.

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