DIY Car Park

I think I have found the ultimate cunt, I really do, imagine opening your front door to find some scummy, tight fisted, fuckwit cunt has parked his car on your drive, so he can avoid airport car park costs, locked his car on your fucking drive and has then fucked off abroad, leaving his car on your drive, knowing legally there’s fuck all you can do about it.

How much of a cunt do you have to be to do this, I suppose the police will tell you it’s a civil matter and will cost a fortune to take the aforementioned cunt to court, and this cunt, mother fucker is quite happy that his car will be safe and sound until he deems fit to turn up and take it away, probably late at night to avoid the grilling from the house owner.

Sure mate I will look after your car while your away…. Not don’t phone the police,yet there would be an oil patch where it used to be, drag the fucker into the middle of the road on a trolley jack, wait for the ensuing gridlock and then phone the police to say there is a car abandoned into middle of the road causing mayhem and wait for the tow truck to arrive, to take the fucker away, or even go down to the local pikey camp and tell them you will happily look the other way while they Hiab it onto the back of their truck, never to be seen again.
Thers no fucking way I would let a cunt let wanker this park his fucking car on my drive and the fuck off to the airport with a big smile on his fucking funny face……. No way

Can you imagine fresh Pesh from Bangladesh having to knock on your door to enquire as to the whereabouts of his pride and joy, the cunt

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

52 thoughts on “DIY Car Park

  1. Should have stuck it in auto trader for a bargain price and got Abdul to buy it cash,no questions.

  2. This is no different than squatters who won’t leave. I would advertise every part on eBay and make something for my trouble. Not one bolt would remain.

    • Couldn’t you get it towed away?
      Sure you can?

      I’d tow it off then strip it.
      Scrap and parts,
      Or give it the gyppos theyll dispose of it.
      Like suggested.

      The world is full of cheeky cunts an pisstakers.

      • Mnc@ – Morning Mnc – I think it’s a grey area legally speaking as it could be interpreted as a civil issue as opposed to a criminal one even though it just seems such a blatant cheek.
        I would just pull my motor up to the rear bumper, lock it up and leave my number with a request to call me and “discuss the release fee” 😀👍

      • Morning Foxy,
        Im a ‘glass is half full ‘ kind of bloke,
        If someone left a expensive vehicle on my property id assume it was a act of generosity from a shy well-wisher and promptly go about turning said vehicle into poundnotes.£££

        Fuel siphoned
        Tyres off

      • I’d class it as traspassing. Pretty sure if it was a farmer’s field they could potentially might end up brown bread. What’s the difference? I’d jack it up and move in onto the road.

        What a cheeky cunt parking on someone’s driveway!

  3. I can’t understand why there is a reluctance to make this stinking behaviour a criminal offence.
    I’d like to park a leaking shit-spreader on a law-maker’s drive and tell them to fuck off.

    • If it was made a criminal offence, there would probably only be a slap on the wrist – and the perpetrator would be laughing at the system. I’d get far more satisfaction by towing it onto the road (who gives fuck if it wrecks the tracking and anything else) – and letting the pikeys strip it!

  4. If any cunt tried this at mine the oil would be drained out of some major mechanical system, gearbox rear axle etc. I do like the idea of blocking the road and rousing plod from his doughnuts and coffee.

  5. Leave small sign on private property to comply with legislation. Park car behind offending vehicle, leave note on offending vehicle that car behind will be removed on production of the unclamping fee in cash – £100.
    Unclamp vehicle in the company of “a couple of sizeable mates from the security industry” and take cash.
    Or option two (the fiscally fecund Yorkshire solution) – rent the driveway out to the lucky punter, pointing out the advantages, convenience and extremely low likelihood of local felons accosting the vehicle! 😀☠ – with a deposit of, coincidentally – a hundred quid!
    Because there is little that takes the flying piss more than some cheeky sod burgling your driveway to avoid 20 quid a day in parking charges – so take the piss right back and make some cash as well!

  6. With a name like Zekarias he can fuck off back where he came from. His drive is British territory so any Brit can park there whenever they like. Fuck him.

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  8. The report says that it was probably dumped there by a rogue airport parking company rather than the owner. The house owner says he saw someone buzzing around in a high-vis jacket, which workers use at these car parks.

    Monumental cunts.

    • Yes, this being the case if I were the owner of the car, I would have been a tad pissed off. Especially if the owner of the driveway took exception and decided to leave some motifs in the paintwork.

      The airport parking company appear to be the giant cunts.

    • You’re doing it all wrong.

      Dog shit flung into the radiator and air intakes.

      They get that freshly dumped smell every time they start the engine.

  9. My kid sister lives in Whythenshawe where this happened.
    Im surprised a Range Rover on the drive didnt get stripped,
    The tyres alone would be best part of £5/600 .

    Now I know Zeckarias wont do shit Ill start leaving my van there when visiting family.

  10. Another example of the uselessness of 600+ MPs, who spend years bleating, literally, in the House Of Commons, but cannot come up with a set of common sense laws.
    Not blocking driveways, not parking on someone else’s driveway for starters.
    Fining hypos for illegal occupation of land and making a mess.
    The list is much longer. Bastards.

    • They are much too busy making laws about transgender toilets to worry about this sort of thing.

  11. 18x9x9 hollow concrete blocks
    Weak mortar mixture-6 parts sand/opc
    Bud a 6 foot block wall across your driveway.

    It’s your car now😉

  12. Just install one of those locking removable bollards, simple and effective.

    Too many cunts in the world that need sorting out so easier to take preventative measures 😂

  13. Dont understand this. The fucking thing would have been sold off to pikeys if it was my drive. Dull cunt.

  14. Didn’t read the article, but iirc it is a *criminal* offence to block you in your driveway, but a civil offence if your car is out and can’t get back in (as his apparently was). Sums it all up really – we’re all proper fucked, the end is nigh etc.etc.

  15. I had some Cunts pitch up…awning and all….in a camper van. They had parked in a gateway that I admittedly never use but it was the sheer nerve of the Cunts that pissed me off. There are many legitimate sites where they could have parked for a few quid but no…park in a gateway.
    I left them until the lads turned up the next morning and gave me a hand to drive 20 odd stirks through the gate..and the awning.

    Tin-tent trespassers.

  16. Seems like it was ditched, but if some cunt tried this with me, I’d just build a big fucking wall with a thick door.

    He’d never get it back, as I don’t allow trespassers/unwanted visitors onto my property.

    When he pressed the intercom in tears, begging for his car back, it’d play the audio from this:

  17. What a colossal cunt. I find this nom quite a piss-boiler to be honest. Must be my innate sense of natural justice.

  18. It had to be a fucking Range Rover driving cunt as well didn’t it.
    Obviously not content with just clogging up roads and pavements.
    What’s the chances that this car’s probably never been near any rough terrain in its life.

    What a colossal cunt.

  19. Park at my More like you park like a They supply stickers for scumbags like this. You can also take pics & upload to their site.

  20. Just put fish in as many orifices as possible, preferably around the engine. In a few days….

    • Great idea! Or shrimp shells. Those will do the trick for sure. They would never find them all and won’t be able to sell it.

  21. A couple of years ago I had two cunts parking their delivery van in my driveway for a fridge 3 doors down. The idiots forgot to lock the van while they took the fridge into the house so I just poured sugar into the fuel valve…

    • Might I add that it’s not the first time I’ve had to deal with people parking on my driveway to deal with other houses on my street….

  22. No , what you need to do is get all of the engine oil out of the engine and gearbox and rear differential ( if it’s rear wheel drive) so when the cunt comes back drives his car off you premises and lo and behold seized engine, gearbox and diff, that will learn the fucker

  23. I’m amazed by how many soppy cunts there are out there these days. Reminds me of that doctor in Bristol who on opening his front door was stabbed at random by some disaffected young c**n and went on virtually to apologise for achieving more in life than said felon. I think if I was in this situation I would first phone plod and if I got the brush off I would then force entry into the vehicle, drop the handbrake and roll it out into the road far enough that I could get my own car on to my drive.
    Can anyone point out any flaws in my position?

    • You are forgetting to put the dead possum under the seat if it is July or August.

  24. Buy your own clamp, it’s your property, your choice to fix the release fee. Tie the cunt up in legal knots, then,break their limbs and tie them up in physical knots.
    Wanna quote for that?

  25. If the prick parked in my driveway,the car would be gone in 5 minutes. Sold for fuck all to the nearest wreckers.

  26. It’s a pity it was so close to the house. A lump hammer through the windscreen, followed by flammable liquid and a burning newspaper might have made whoever the parking cunt was think twice about pulling that stunt again.
    Can you imagine the face on the returning traveller?
    ” What do you mean, it was set on fire? I paid for secure parking!”

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