Superman (and Batman) Go Bi

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s Superwooftah the Camp Crusader in a same sex relationship with Boy Robin. Holy Twatman Gotham City has turned into the Manchester of the Universe. I am most seriously confused as all the Super Heroes are shagging each other and BatWoman is a munter in a consensual relationship with Lois Lane. Pass the BatDildo Lois. What next The Hulk is shagging Lassie and Goldilocks and the Three Bears are reimagined in all their LGBT glory?

Big splash KAPOW that Superman has been redrawn by some simpering Oz cunt with slap head hiding beneath a flat cap and very irritating chin beard – the sort of beard if seen on a MMA fighter would demand a Ground, Pound and KO. Oh how the little cunt twitters and puffs on about how an honour it is to have the opportunity to draw the Caped Crusader and his son with cock rings, butt plugs and arse piercings.
The Joker is on us.

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Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

And then there’s this from Ron Knee


A short while ago I came back into the living room to find the wife laughing so hard that she was actually spilling her tea.

‘What’s tickled your fancy?’ says I, intrigued.

‘Christ’ says she, wiping a tear from her eye. ‘Have a look at this’, and points towards an article that’s up on her computer screen.

Great Caesar’s ghost! Can this be true? In another attempt to appear ‘inclusive’ and ‘diverse’, DC Comics has decided that its most iconic of icons, Superman no less, will ‘come out’ as bi-sexual.

I mean, can you Adam and Eve it? The most macho, alpha superhero ever, fresh from a hard day saving the galaxy again, returns home for a bit of a cuddle and canoodle with his ‘friend’ Jay Nakamura, a ‘Gamorran’ refugee, naturally.

You couldn’t make this stuff up. Er, well actually you can if you’re DC Comics and desperate to show how ‘progressive’ you are. Next thing you know, he’ll be wearing his shirt outside his pants, sporting a man-bun and drinking soy latté.

‘Look up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Superperson!’

DC Comics? Fucking AC/DC Comics morelike. I’m getting too old for this shit.

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A late entry from Miserable northern cunt, regarding Batman from the 60s TV show in need of some young Dick!


A billionaire goes to a circus.
There he sees a supple, agile young acrobat named Dick.

Upon finding out Dick hasn’t any parents this rich man takes the boy dresses him in hot pants and mask and moves him in.

The billionaire isn’t married, no girlfriend, and dresses in a mask and head to toe black rubber.

He also has a secret cave where he takes this pliable lad for god knows what.

At no time does social services intervene,
Likewise the police.
The rich get away with anything.
Why is Batman so interested in young Dick?
Has he touched Dick?

Gotham has its problems,
Like any city.
But its a stain on its reputation if it ignores the handling of young Dick by “Older man”
Bruce Wayne.

I’ve outed him.

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116 thoughts on “Superman (and Batman) Go Bi

  1. This is just so wrong on so many levels.
    I don’t have a problem with actors, I don’t care what colour you are, but please stop rewriting history. Find your own heroes to make a programme about. Stop hijacking my white Kings and Queens.
    Stop taking an existing icon & changing them to fit your vision. If you want a ” Superman” create your own, don’t just try to remodel the existing clay. It already been glazed and fired.
    People who do this so lack in imagination and creativity, it’s laughable to call them artists or writers.
    Stop stealing our culture, you thieving cunts.

    • Indeed. Why don’t they just make ‘Gayman’ or ‘The Arse Bandit’?

      Oh I forgot, it’s easier to hijack established characters and ruin them instead.

      • I have had a few doubts about Popeye mind you….all that Spinach and not pulling on that skinny bird Olive who seems to be just gagging for a bit.

  2. These cunts would wasted by the bad guys now. Like the west’s woke army against the Chinese. They just can’t see it.

  3. Fuck me, what a gay day.
    What happened to those little war comics you used to get when I was a kid? Square jawed British (whitey) commandos blowing the fuck and bayoneting the shit out of Squareheads and bucktoothed little Japs. How we loved their screams of agony as the mighty British army shat all over the foreign cunts.
    I bet you can’t buy those these days. Fuck AC/DC comics, bunch of fucking benders.

    • As Harry Enfield once said via Chomley-Warner, “And how about this wonderful children’s comic, ‘Simon shoots the smiling sam boes.'”


      “Eat lead, Fritz”

      As the plucky British Tommy defies all odds and kills the Kraut or Nip.

      Happy memories of simpler times!

      • DCI: Last weekend, I sorted out my office and came across some books/comics from my youth.
        As well as lots of comics like VIZ / GAS / ZIT (including the earliest ones), I found some of those Commando comics.
        Nostalgia washed all over me.
        Happy days👍

      • CG. My issues of Commando, Wizard and the Victor would seriously offend today’s lily livered non binary yoof !

    • I remember those comics – they were great. Also, “bubble gum cards” which had different sets to collect like US Civil War characters or types of Japanese WW2 torture (like growing bamboo shoots up through staked down prisoners).

  4. What about Spiderman?
    Change his name to Peter File. He can catch young flies in his web….

    As a positive, I watched an excellent Lotus Eaters episode on YouTube recently, on this exact subject: it seems go woke/go broke is true. Since this shit has happened to comic books, sale have gone through the floor.

    Fucking good!

    • I hope Marvel sue the cunt for a squillion dollars, although he probably only owns a draught board & some pencils!

  5. The Batman villains will also need updating and dragged into the 21st century. The Riddler will now be The Kiddie Fiddler, Bane is BAME and Mr Freeze is Mrs Tease.

  6. I can’t imagine how disturbing it would’ve been as a seven year old, eagerly awaiting the new Superman film, only for him to start bumming Batman and go on about trans rights half way through.

    Would’ve fucked me right up.

    Poor fucking kids. Just keep them away from this filth (if you can it’s fucking everywhere).

  7. When he runs into the phone box, he’ll have a cheeky gobble through a glory hole in the side of the phone box as he gets ready.

    The Gaped Crusader will then emerge.

  8. Personally I like my super heroes to be bulging all over and wear skin tight outfits !!!

    Aside from that, the minority this shite is “created” for do not buy comic books or pay to go see it at the cinema. They did try a while ago to have “woke” super heroes Safe Space, Snowflake who were gender fluid and all that bollocks….It failed miserably. Fuck the cunts, let them carry on and waste their time and money.

  9. What about HG Wells….”The Invisible Man”? Would he be the Invisible Trannie, the Invisible Bi, the Invisible Non Binary?
    Instead of seeing a pair of glasses floating in the air you’d see a Strapon and a butt plug.
    Fucking hell! When I come to power all these sick fucks will be invisible, trust me.

  10. I am sure everyone will have seen the breaking news….

    The man arrested was ‘of African appearance’

    Superman is an alien, they probably do it different on Krypton, dirty bastards 💪

    • Very sad to hear the news about Amess.

      Every time I hear the words ‘stabbing’ or ‘knife’, I associate it with our ‘beloved’ jam spoon camoonnity,- and rarely am I disappointed.

      I’m betting he made A mess of the carpet in the church?

      Back on topic, (ish), it has been revealed that that green-faced hottie Grotbags was in fact a raving lesbian.
      And that pathetic little sidekick of a crocodile was a prolific pooofter.
      Rod Hull was just a peedo.

      • That the. Not that that.

        Trying to string a sentence together after 20mg of diazepam and four tins of Gold Label isn’t easy!

      • Apparently some bulb headed Somalian cunt stabbed David Amess.

        Hey, Linekunt, aren’t third world immigrants just great? We simply don’t have enough of them in the UK.

        Fuck off.

  11. Bet the DC writer cunts wouldn’t have the fucking nerve to suggest that Superman or The Batman is bi to their fucking face.

  12. Does he have a hole in his Bat Suit, a bit like a glory hole where his balloon knit is? Fucking hell, the kids would be confused if they adopted.

  13. The latest story lines for the shirt lifter from Krypton are that he tackles climate change as well as defending immigrants from deportation.

    I am not making this up.
    Nobody could really.

    What is so wrong with having a macho súper hero in a relationship with Lois Lane?
    Why have we got to give up these things to placate a bunch of deluded sexual deviants?

    • We don’t have to give up anything. They can’t steal our memories, or our DVD collection, or our Viz annual collection.
      Fuck ’em all and switch off.

      • Maybe you are right JP.

        Maybe things will go full circle and the parents and kids who want ‘special’ status will have to become heterosexual to be different.

        I just can’t see it happening soon and I am upset about the damage that is being done in the meantime.

        It seems to me that the entire LBGTQRSTH mob do not see people as actual individuals.
        Everything boils down to sexuality.

      • I do hope so, whilst trying to keep my granddaughter on the right track.
        Apparently, just before she left junior for senior school, some prat told them it was ” OK to have anxiety issues about moving”
        I’d kick the bitch 9 shades of blue, if I could. It took me nearly 4 weeks to get her back to her usual ‘ I kick arse’ mode.
        Silly cow, wait while they have issues, don’t you yet know how suggestible 11 years old are?

      • Oh, fabulous. There were tears in my eyes there, MNC, such wonderful memories.
        Beezer, Beano, Captain Marvel, I could go on, but I do love the unadulterated Tarzan.

  14. His makeover came about just in time for the new Christmas blockbuster, ‘Superman: Ring of Steel’

    • Well if diversity is the name of the game how about a superhero with conservative views?
      Or a fundamental Christian?
      Step further,
      How about a hero with far right ideals?
      Maybe Spiderman only helps white people?

      “But Spidey! Mr Gonzalez is still in the burning building!”

      “not my problem. The greaseball.”

      • Note to self.

        Pitch a comic called The incredible Trump.
        Anger issues make him a muscular behemoth.
        His nemesis is kilary and the demonrats.
        Dont tell the others.
        Theyll steal your idea or want a cut of the film rights.

      • “Spiderman at Grenfell Towers” ( the movie )
        Starring a cast of thousands
        Featuring David Lammy as David Lammy

      • But only if he dies right at the end, having bravely rescued Mrs. Browns budgie, although she perished, there by proving he wasn’t a fucking racist cunt in his own way after all.

  15. American comic books have been going this way for years, and sales have fallen into the toilet as a result.
    The writers are of course too deluded to see it.
    If the films follow with the same agenda, thus tanking at the box office, it will be blamed on “toxic fans” as was the case with the last terminator and Ghostbusters outings.
    Incidentally, Henry Cavill has apparently been “let go” as superman, due to the promised reboot of the series with a person of colour as the title character.

    Perhaps he could replace that ugly twat Daniel Craig as Bond if they decide to try and squeeze out another one…

    • Daniel Craig just popped up on the online news.
      ‘why I go to gay bars’.
      Apparently Daniel is sick of toxic masculinity and men trying to kick off.
      So he goes to gay bars.

      Take your word for it sweetheart…..

    • The (recently cunted) director of the latest 007 shitfest, who described Connery’s Bond as a “rapiest” has been accused of sacking an actress from one of his previous productions because she wouldn’t get her tits out despite having a no nudity clause in her contract.
      Hah. Serve the cunt right. I hope and pray that the blue-haired lesbian land whale brigade burn his fucking house down…

      P.S. Daniel Craig is a cunt…

  16. In episode 2 Return of the Immortal Faggets Superman goes on a night out and catches AIDS.
    In episode 3 Gary Glitter and Elton John fly to the moon to bun Batman.

    The moral of this tale is that they are all cunts.

  17. He-Man and Prince Adam was definitely a bit dodgy.
    Characters such names such as Fisto, Beast-man and Extendar were even more dodgy.

  18. My comic hero was General Jumbo and his army that he controlled remotely from his wrist.
    Never really got into Superman stuff, I liked the British stuff. Bash st kids, Desperate Dan, Dennis the menace, Corky and more.
    My first toy that I remember was a torch that changed colours by moving a lens filter. Spent hours in the outside khazi pretending to be Dan Dare while dying of hypothermia.

  19. The greatest comics, as far as this Cunter is concerned, came from the “alternative” movement in 1960/70’s Yankland👍

    Robert Crumb
    Jay Lynch and his excellent “Nard n’ Pat”
    Gilbert Shelton and the “Fabulous Fury Freak Brothers”-genuinely laugh-out-loud social commentary.

  20. I’ll always watch a punch and Judy show. Go out of my way to find them.
    Swanage and Llandudno have or had the old fashioned ones (prewoke).
    I was asking one of the blokes once about the new world order and how it affected him?
    He laughed and told me Punch wasn’t allowed to beat the wife anymore but could throw the baby onto the sand.

  21. I was never anti-gay+ or racist so am utterly bored by all these films and tv shows that aim to lecture on matters of sexuality and race. I’m sick to the back teeth of hearing about them. They don’t entertain me or make me think differently and they are boring.

    I thought arty types were supposed to be at cutting edge of culture but they come out with the usual films about abusive relationships or racism – its all been done to death. How about something fresh? Perhaps a kitchen sink drama for the 2020s that is tackling some of the horrors we see such as murderous stabbings, violence against blind people’s service dogs, unfair dismissals, cancel culture, Twitter addiction, authoritarianism? Fucking anything except a character you once saw a white person play who is now played by a BAME person and/or is portrayed as LGBT+. The nearest thing I saw to making a current social commentary was Harry Brown in 2009!

    • Agree, Cuntologist. I am just re-watching ‘The Wire’, 63 episodes and fucking excellent on every level. Black and white shown as they really are. Good and bad in both. Of course, it would never get made these days.

      • Ah….Harry Brown. Marvellous pre-woke British film. (No, it’s not a fucking “movie”!)

        “You failed to maintain your weapon, son.”

        Finish the low life Harry!

    • Woah! Better keep those thoughts to to yourself Cuntologist! You’ll really be in trouble in the new world order!

  22. Just when will this WOKE bullshit end? It literally drives me mad. I fucking hate it. Who do people give in to this shit? For fuck sake. I need a Rum.

    • When will it end? Never. It’s been stealthily building up for decades. Turbocharged following the referendum. Now on steroids. Beyond the point of no return.


    • Booze on, it’ll die a death. The attention span of the average human is about that of a chimpanzee.

  23. Don’t shoot me down but we have to rely on the young. Adolescents always rebel against their boring parents and teachers. The more they get lectured to by old cunts (yes, even St Greta is old to many of them) the more they are likely to say…..fuck you!
    That’s my analysis anyway. If you can wedge in a bit of rebellion amongst the young then go for it! But don’t push it too hard. Don’t forget you are a boring old cunt too!

  24. I’ve always thought that fictional super heroes were rather naff and a bit too fabulous for my liking. I prefer real life heroes like Nancy Wake, Colonel Mad Jack Churchill and Admiral Chan Chuk.
    As other cunters have mentioned, as a kid I eagerly awaited the next issue of Commando. Stitch that Joachim, tea time’s over Yoshi, no more donkey bothering for you Cologgio.

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