The Bedwetting Media

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22 skiddoo.

Feeding the public’s relatively newfound appetite for being afraid, I have noticed a ratcheting up of the language of dread in recent scoops.

Exhibit One:

The current heatwave is a ‘natural disaster’ that could lead to the deaths of hundreds (fuck me)…cue for limp twats everywhere to shit their pants:

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/heatwave-natural-disaster-england-deaths-5678059

Exhibit Two:

A man was ‘alarmed’. Police are investigating. Take my advice cunters, stay indoors until this emergency is officially over and the PM has made a fucking statement:

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/police-investigating-torquay-incident-saw-5678013

Soon an old lady falling over will be national news.

This country is fucking shit, full of Softy Walter types (acknowledgement to Dennis the Menace). Have the Lib Dems gained political power without me realising? I am ashamed to be British. I think I will change my nationality to Cuntish. Fuck off.

Nominated by – Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

 

51 thoughts on “The Bedwetting Media”

  1. Chilly in sunny Yorkshire today.
    MSM reports “Yorkshire enters new ice age, millions may die”..

    • Fine by me as long as it’s around Bradistan, Dewsbury, parts of Leeds and the gypo bits of Sheffield and Doncaster.

    • I won’t believe it unless they say ‘experts say or experts have confirmed’ while also showing me footage of people in nurses uniforms scurrying around on a film setting with no real patients in sight. Without these to trigger my believing mode, it’s all just conspiracy theories.

  2. Weather forecasters often describe the day as sunny but never describe the night as moony….

  3. In the BBC News today:

    Open water: Swimmers urged not to take chances.

    Perhaps we should all just stay indoors for the remainder of our miserable pathetic lives and follow the advice given by the doom mongers, who clearly know what’s best for us.

    Surely, life’s for living, isn’t it?

    • They should go over to Calais and preach to those climbing into dinghies preparing to endure the dangers of a perilous crossing.

      Unless they can show me some slides of statistics on the telly which I can view momentarily just at to see a graph with a peak, I’m going swimming in the nearest lake tomorrow.

      • I too have noticed this News obsession with people drowning. If theyre so obsessed with death counts (Covid, heatwave drowning), why don’t they give a daily ‘Stab count’ in the towns and cities of the UK?

  4. Jersey looks like a nice place to live.

    An ISAC gated community should be built there, with machine gun towers every 50 yards.

      • Robben Island is much better CC, good fishing and away from the cunt savages on the mainland!

    • I visited Robben island two years ago. What a drab desolate place. It´s now a museum but I think ISACers should have a whip round and buy it from the South African government and use it as a dumping ground for our favorite celebs – Gary Lineker, Hugh Grant, Meghan, the Flabbot, Fat Reg, Richard Branston, Joe Biden, the captain of the American women´s “soccer” team with the blue hair whose name escapes me, St Marcus Rashford, David Lamy, who had a friend who died on Roben island, and Gemma Aterton (only joking with the last one Mr Fiddler).

    • I just literally shit myself with alarm over the story of the man being enormously alarmed. When I inform people of my story of being alarmed to a state of defecation of the man being alarmed, they will be so alarmed they will literally kill themselves because of the alarm.

  6. Speaking of the lying media, we can presume that the MSM will not be covering today’s London anti-lockdown/anti vaccine protest.
    Would any of you fine gents know of a news website that covers stuff like this?
    Serious question.
    I’d just like to read some unbiased (or at least close to unbiased) news for a change! The mainstream media are obviously complicit with the politicians and the multinationals in keeping every suppressed that conflicts with the ongoing ch1nkyflu narrative.

    • They are far too interested in –

      1. The fucking Olympics
      2. A girlie Pride March in Budapest

    • TtCE – Gab.com has a lot of info and livestreams with regard to the protests, Rebel News with Avi Yemini is on there and pretty good.
      And watch out for that dodgy fellow @VernonFox on there! 😀

      • I recently signed up to GAB, and it really is a breath of fresh air in terms of not being afraid to take on the Left/Woke.

        Seems to have a good balance of news streams, probably leaning a little to the Right. But it certainly makes a nice change from the barrage of one-eyed reporting you get with the usual suspects.

  7. Why does the MSM not start a campaign against kitchen knives? These are fucking deadly as the vast number of London stabees can attest. I know the trend amongst the feral is for longer blades but the 4” paring knife is right bad. Never anything about banning pointy knives so for some reason the MSM is not that worried about the major threat to life that exists in many towns and cities. Getting stabbed by some fuckwit is a greater worry to me than a couple of warm days and swimming in a pond.

    • Just when you thought it might be safe to go outside, Government ministers have now got an idea in their heads that farting in a confined space could be a way of spreading Covid. I can’t wait for the laminated signs to go up in my workplace.

  8. The heatwave is old news now, just fish and chip wrappings, there is a weather warning for rain and wind, seems they are concerned about holiday makers in Cornwall and the south west.

    Hopefully the wind will whistle along the Channel and blow the illegal migrants straight up the North Sea to Norway. The weather seems to be our only defence 😂

  10. I saw a sign in the pub yesterday that made me fucking piss myself.
    It said, “Toilets closed”….

    • I love your bottomless pit of witty humor. Your comments always brighten my day. Thanks JR!

  11. Remember the good old days of “above/below average” rainfall, temperatures etc. Now it’s “Extreme Weather” and it’s all our fault for turning our heating on in winter or driving anything that isn’t powered by cow shit according to Dr Goebells propaganda ministries in the msm. I’m currently on a beach in Dorset where we are bombarded with warnings about the sea, the cliffs, the rocks, the sand, the sun, the wind and fucking rain. They hate the thought of plebs enjoying themselves.

  12. And all over the bed wetting media is role model, the great Gareth Wokegate telling “the young” to get their jabs and their “freedom.”
    Keep your big fucking nose out of it you arsecrawling sycophant.

  13. Health warning: too much sleep is bad for you.
    Health warning: not enough sleep is bad for you.
    Health warning: moderate drinking is bad for you.
    Health warning: moderate drinking is good for you

    I think I may as well stop in bed. Oh wait….

  14. Excellent Cunting TTCUTS. I have noticed this as well. The smallest, insignificant thing is presented as a catastrophe of global proportions, after which the world will never be the same.

    This week there has been news of temporary disruptions to supermarket supply chains. Despite the supermarkets saying it’s nothing to worry about, the Press launches into a narrative of riots, starvation, people dying on the streets and the army called in to im[one martial law and restore order.

    The biggest catastrophe narratives of all are about a supposedly racist society and climate change. In reality, not as big issues as are being presented and, in the case of racism, wildly overblown.

    It’s all about creating panic and selling newspapers.

    • Here’s another MMCM: Jellyfish are apparently invading the sea and beaches in the west country. They are ruining staycations (what a wanky media word), and after Covid 19 too. What inconsiderate cunts jellyfish are. Will the NHS cope? Holidaymakers can do their bit by pissing on any one they see getting stung. ‘The horror, the horror.’

      • Twenty@ – “Prime Minister leaves sea after invigorating swim off West Country beach”..

      • Good example TTCUTS. They make the “Invasion of the Jellyfish” sound like something out of HP Lovecraft.

  15. Record numbers of invaders arrive in dinghies and “nothing to see here!” No such thing as News any more, just propaganda to support the narrative.

    It should alarm people how many of government advisors are psychologists and the like. There are many examples of the various MSM outlets parroting the same like word for word.

    Word has it that one of our top immunology scientists has stated that Astra vaccine reduces your immune response to 1/6th of normal after two shots but it’s not been reported on the BBC so it can’t be true. When you get told you need a monthly booster don’t question it.

    But that’s just a scare story isn’t it?

  17. Puffs.Despicable puffs.
    Spineless shithouses everywhere.
    These alleged journalists should be wheedle out of their designer coffee shops and summarily shot.
    CUNTS.

  18. Fuck off. It’s 102c in New Orleans so a relative tells me. I keep saying it what we need is a great big fucking war. All the other pish will disappear. Ok that’s all sorted so who should we cut up rough with? Ireland, Iceland ,Argentina, the EU or should we just poke the Ivans and Chinks and really go for it?

    • France.
      Give them an ultimatum about the dinghy architects.
      Then start sinking all the cunts.

  19. Middle aged white man seen shopping in Morrison’s not wearing a mask .
    A big smile on my face with only members of the traveller community to smile back at me.
    Where the f will it end

  20. Bedwetting media for a bedwetting population.

    When the last of the British soldiers who fought in the second World War finally pass away we can probably rest assured they’ll probably be taking the last milligrams of western testosterone with them.

  22. Anything that comes out of reach plc is just cannon fodder. Complete useless shite.

  23. A favourite expression of mine back in the day was ‘Life is six to five against’ i.e. the odds were against survival but you just got on with it with a spring in your step and a song in your heart (the song being “Fuck Off” by Wayne County and the Electric Chairs). You know, if you don’t watch the lie box or listen to the wokeio and don’t have a smart (satellite monitoring and remote teracking) phone life seems generally okay. Six to five against maybe, but okay nonetheless.

  24. Always thought Aussies were square jawed tough nuts. Cunts are more terrified of this bugs than people in this cuntry.

  25. I’ve noticed that lately the TV main news very rarely reports on anything from outside the UK. Now we have headlines such as “Homophoboic attacks on the rise” Sadly folk get duffed up most every night for no reason whatsoever other that wrong place wrong time . Another one recently was attacks on 2 Jewish lads in different parts of the country. A sad incident which was reported as “Anti Semetic attacks on the rise” This is a country of 70 million people. If it was gangs roaming the streets of every city and town beating up Jews and gays then I think we should all be wary. But a few folk?? I’ve been duffed up for having long hair in the past. Nobody cared . We’re being royally fucked in the arse in this country.

  26. In other news, C4 news was talking about the cost of Covid-19 to the country. Over £370 billion if I heard it correctly.

    The taxpayer will still be paying for this when I’m an old man and I’m in my late 30s.

    We’re doomed. Doomed I tell ya!

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