Feeding the public’s relatively newfound appetite for being afraid, I have noticed a ratcheting up of the language of dread in recent scoops.
The current heatwave is a ‘natural disaster’ that could lead to the deaths of hundreds (fuck me)…cue for limp twats everywhere to shit their pants:
A man was ‘alarmed’. Police are investigating. Take my advice cunters, stay indoors until this emergency is officially over and the PM has made a fucking statement:
Soon an old lady falling over will be national news.
This country is fucking shit, full of Softy Walter types (acknowledgement to Dennis the Menace). Have the Lib Dems gained political power without me realising? I am ashamed to be British. I think I will change my nationality to Cuntish. Fuck off.
Nominated by – Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea