In the land of until awoken by me mobile at 2.30am.
“Hallo mate. Can you come and get me. They’ve kicked me out”
“( Most expletives deleted) Fuck me where are you? You didn’t go off on one? (He has a very short fuse). Nah nah. They give me three different scans all shit so nothing new there then the consultant tells me I need an operation (I know that) and they should admit me but due to so many Covid cases in the hospital it was not safe for me. If I caught anything It would definitely kill me.

I am standing in the car park outside A&E, they won’t have me in the hospital for my own safety and it’s started to rain.”

” Nice to have a consultant with a good bedside manner. Bugger me If I can manage to run the wipers in the dark I’ll get down there. What are the going to do for you?”
“They’ll send me a letter”

So I tanked up on Red Bull (on top of me medication) and motored on down. Picked him up sheltering in a bike shed next to A&E. Massive queue at A&E now standing in the rain. Nothing more conducive than a flood lit hospital car park in the rain at 3am. Which way to the gas chambers?

On the way back hit a massive pot hole hidden by the rain and the useless angle of view of such a low motor. Massive jolt up me arse and across me lungs and kidneys. Felt like an Iron Mike special (actually a very nice man out off the ring, mostly. Held back the pain to get us back and then literally fell out of the car hardly able to breath.

Crawled back home, more single malt and so to bed. Call to Quack Emergency Line, long wait, refused to speak to call handlers and nurses (just take an aspirin) and insisted on a Quack I actually knew. Eventually got a call back – could be lungs bouncing of me ribs or damage to liver or kidneys or a touch of the Princess Di’s with heart jolted out of place.

“Any black in your poo? What colour is your urine? Any blood in your snot or spit.? You need to have a scan but I would not recommend one with so much Covid in the hospital at the moment. We’ll send you letter.”
“Should I take some aspirin?”
“Don’t make me laugh”
“Only joking. Happy days”
“Wait for your letter”

Me Quack is an old cunt I have known for years and past retirement but continuing to work until he can come up with a dodge to prevent a large chunk of his massive pension being trousered by HMG. Really knows his stuff.

Will update if I live to tell. Oh yes found a lovely fracture dent in the alloy and a fucked side wall. Seriously expensive and he wants me as a witness.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

I’d like to nominate the Reverend Jarel Robinson-Brown. What a complete and massive c**t (and his boss, the Bishop of London is just as big a c.**t- if not bigger). Yet another WOKE-BAME leftist t**t obsessed with the fantasy of a world-wide white patriarchal conspiracy to oppress ‘people of color’ (American spelling used deliberately).

Mind-you, if the likes of the ‘Reverend’ keep going on with shit like this, perhaps it would be a good idea. I’d like to see how the likes of ‘Rev JRB’ and his peers would-have ended-up by now if people like Captain Tom hadn’t given Nazi Germany a good-old bloody f…..g nose all those years ago…

Nominated by: KingofFlannel 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13945503/clergyyman-captain-tom-honours-system-black-mp/

Another week, yet another apology to James Hewitt’s brave little soldier, or the threat of another prosecution. Jim’s boy, the Prince of Snowflakes, is forever having his delicate little feelings hurt and his wife deeply upset over some piece of tittle tattle over the little prats life.

It’s the Mail Online this week:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55888361

Nearly every day, it seems, somebody upsets the little bastard, but as he no longer lives in Britain why does he worry so much. We all have our own opinion of the little shitstain, no matter how many newspapers write cheques for him. He is a greedy grasping little cunt, no better than a ponce in a Parisian pissoir.

It is a pity any newspaper continues to give the little wanker the oxygen of publicity – for no marks like him there is only one thing worse than be written about, and that is not being written about. Let him sink to the obscurity he so richly deserves.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Nazis are cunts. Goes without saying.

Funnily enough they were defeated utterly in 1945 and the the British Army on the Rhine stood there for 40 years to make sure they never came back.

Guess what, apparently that didn’t work.. Now they are everywhere for some reason.

So if you like freedom of speech, a free exchange of ideas and thought and you think men are not women you’re a Nazi. Who knew this was what the Nazis were all about.

Maybe we should have not bothered with all the blood and treasure.

Nominated by: Smug cunt 

I would like to cunt the word “Obviously” please.

In relation to its over use in sentences mainly by the yoof of today but I’ve noticed it in adults lately to my great concern.

An example quoted from a 18 year old lass at work.
“well I obviously said to him she shouldn’t turn up so late and as she obviously leaves work at 1 she should have been on time“

No love it is not obvious she leaves at 1 because I don’t fucking know the silly bint!!!

This word is shoehorned in everywhere and I even caught myself saying it once for which I cunted myself. Oh she’s back from lunch I wonder what other obvious shit she is going to tell us now.

Nominated by: Once a cunt always a cunt