Luke Pollard MP

An ESSENTIAL cunting, for Shadow Environment Secretary, Luke Pollard.

‘Luke who?’, I thought, when I just happened to see Pollard on this morning’s SKY news, being interviewed by ISAC’s favourite attack dog, Kay Burley. If any more evidence was required that the Labour Party have completely lost the plot, this was it. Whoever authorised this TRAIN crash interview will surly be collecting their P45, with Pollard close behind.

Pollards got a fucking cunning plan to make sure all our fruit gets picked…Are you ready? It’s been brilliantly thought out at HQ Corbyn and it’s really going to show the government up. Okay, Pollards clever trick is to open our borders and let in 80,000 fruit pickers! Fucking genius! Bojo, you’re a fool. Well never one to miss an opportunity, Burley goes on the offensive:

‘Are you serious? You’re talking about open borders…we’re in lockdown’.
Pollard then wheels out the big guns. ‘Kate, people are looking at empty shelves and asking the government where is the food?’
Burley then asks again, ‘So you want to open the borders?’
Pollard then goes in for the kill. ‘People need to know the food chain is working’.
Burley’s teeth are starting to show. ‘So where are these people coming from?’
Pollard, quick as a flash, ‘Europe of course. There’s lots of fruit pickers looking for work’. Hardly surprising you thick cunt, as there’s a pandemic going on.
Burley’s gossamer thin patience snaps. ‘So you are talking about opening our borders to EUROPE during the Coronavirus outbreak????’

‘Yes’. Pollard sticks by his well thought out, ready made solution…CUNT.

Maybe tomorrow, Virgin holidays will be offering cheap, fly drive holidays to America? (as there’s a gap in the market)

Nominated by Quislings

147 thoughts on “Luke Pollard MP

  1. I’d make the Vegans pick the veg….they’re the ones who want them. Probably do the pasty Cunts some good to get off their pontificating arses and do some proper physical work for a change instead of just banging their gums together having “Team-Leader” meetings with other whiffy windbags before pushbiking back to their oh-so-desirable semis on some oh-so-desirable “country-living” estate.

    Give them a whole new appreciation of The Great Outdoors and the people who produce their food.

      • Gluten free (fuck knows what that is) organic pork sausages, McCain’s “original straight” oven chips, Héinz baked beans, and a nice big runny free range egg.


      • One of the lads brought me a large corned-beef pie that his wife had baked…. it looks lovely…good job that she’s a canny cook mind…she’s as plain as a pikestaff.

      • “One of the lads?” I assume you mean one of your sons Dick? You don’t seem to allude much to your family?

      • One of the lads who occasionally does a bit of tree-work for me Bertie. We’ve got no jobs on at the moment so a couple of them are coming in to do a few jobs around the place….think they’re just glad to get out and about….we don’t get that much actually done but it’s better than nowt.

      • I used to believe I was one of Dick’s bastard sons Bertie. Until I realised he was young enough to be one of mine! 😃

      • 😂 Does this mean he could extend his land grab with a claim for Creampuff Manor?

      • Creamuff Manor?

        After reading about RTC’s diet, I’m not sure that I’d even want it….the fucking shithouse,drains and septic-tank must be in a hell of a state.

    • A thoroughly good idea Sir Fiddler! But I see difficulty with this plan unless we install “safe spaces” and wifi hotspots in the fields!
      Plus the fact every vegan I have ever seen/met looks an inch away from death – get some steak in you for f*cks sake you skinny shaky handed buggers!
      Lumping bags of grain would sort them (I used to do that, f*ck me that was graft – but it sure as hell builds the shoulders up though!)

      • I’ve often thought that people can go to gyms as often as they want…there’s nothing better for you than proper physical outdoor exercise,Vernon.
        I had a lad one time who came to help shift rings of timber when we dismantled a big old beech tree. He was a bloody big fella…worked out all the time apparently. He started out like a steam-engine humping lumps of wood but after an hour or so he was fucked…the groundsman who was twice his age shifted twice as much over the day as the big lad managed.

      • Dick@
        Think ive told this before.
        When my dad was still working he got this new lad, steroid big, full of hisself.
        Same thing, running heavy stuff up an down flights of stairs is different from lifting a dumbbell.
        Few hours in,lads spewing up, my dad about 65yrs at the time, medium build, “you ok son? Pass it here, your looking peaky!”
        Muscles was crestfallen☺☺

      • Being fair, I had my doubts about the big lad before we even started…we stopped on the way to the job for the usual full English breakfast …..he stayed in the van eating a bowl of muesli.

      • There you go.
        Dont have to be Colombo to see hes a knobhead.
        Unsociable, an prefers oats to meat?
        Worlds full of oddballs.

      • Might well of Freddie but I’m no fool…the sheer size and proximity of the Cunt deterred me from enquiring if he was suffering from “The Gayness”

      • Any more hope of you getting back to work MNC? I saw you mention that you might have something in the pipeline.

      • Yes Dick, a storage company i have a deal with sent me the goverment guidelines in regards to house moves, removal firms etc,
        Seems if a move is already legal completed or empty i can do the job as long as i observe social distancing, mask, gloves etc.
        The lad who works for me is bit nervous of catching coronavirus, so cant really pressure him to work, but I can. And will.
        Got something booked in,to be honest Dick I’ll be flad to get back to normal, took for granted how lucky I was, what a treat to go the pub, drive into the hills without coppers mithering, work whenever i want etc.
        It effected you much?
        Know you said the treecutting was on hold.

      • Hasn’t really bothered me much,MNC. The tree-work always quietens down at this time of year anyhow and I tend to only go along to the odd job at the best of times.
        I’ve got most of the land let out so tend to just potter on pretty much anyhow.

        Glad to hear that you’re getting sorted.

      • Glad to hear it Dick,
        Think the country will be a different place after this,like to think a better one, lot of work to be done when its over eh?

      • Cheers Jack,
        How you faring?
        Hope your well, hit the country hard hasnt it?
        Long way to get back to normal, some will never recover financially,
        Poor buggers.

      • I’m fine thanks. Busy at work and at home.This situation is something new for all of us. As for normal, I don’t think we’ll go back to the old normal, that’s history. We’ll have to get used to a new normal. For one thing , the national debt from this will be massive, and certainly won’t be sorted in my lifetime. I think a great many things will change. Lots of people used to laugh at Yankee ‘ preppers ‘, they’re not fucking laughing now.
        Once again, it’s good to hear that you’re getting back on track.

  2. Stamina Mr Fiddler that’s what young’uns are lacking today, stamina.. We went potato- picking when we were kids. I remember the sun was shining and the rows stretched for what seemed miles but we got stuck in. By lunchtime we were all dirty, sweating profusely, our backs aching but d’you know Mr Fiddler we all felt a strong surge of feeling to speak to the farmer and I was delegated to go up to him-‘we want to go home, pay us now’.

    • LOL


      Aye, a hard job,for sure….did the farmer tell you to ” Fuck Off”? That’s what I’d have done.

      • Work at a nice and steady pace and you will get into a system and go all day. A steak and kidney pie and a mug of hot, strong tea at lunch will give you that boost for the afternoon.

        I am an office wallah but was labouring for two 50+ year old brickies on my house. It was fast paced, but I got into a rapid system of water, sand, cement, plasticiser in the mixer, knock it out nice and smooth and hod it up, keeping ahead of them. Like a couple of crows the old boys would shout when their mortar was starting to dwindle – MUUCKKK!!!!

      • Evening Paul.

        Learning to pace yourself…that’s the secret. Trouble with some of the gym-only types is that it’s all just sudden bursts.

        Of course, working on your own house would be a big motivator too.

      • Good evening, Mr F.
        I was wondering, if the worst comes to the worst and Boris doesn’t make it, will you be dropping half your username? Perhaps you could incorporate Sir Kier Stammerers name in there somehow. Or “Dick Corbyn Abbott Fiddler”…just to keep things fresh and mix it up a little?

      • Evening,Mr. Cunt-Engine.

        L’m expecting the “Duke Of Sussex” title to become vacant soon…I shall claim that…even I can’t be more unpopular than the current incumbent (although given a touch more public exposure I’m pretty sure I can outdo even that whinging Cunt)

        Have you found a new Mrs Cunt-Engine yet?

      • Evening,Mr. Cunt-Engine.

        L’m expecting the “Duke Of Sussex” title to become vacant soon…I shall claim that…even I can’t be more unpopular than the current holder (although given a touch more public exposure I’m pretty sure I can outdo even that whinging Cunt)

        Have you found a new Mrs Cunt-Engine yet?

      • Eeeuurrgghh, no.
        All this #metoo crap has put me right off wimminz. The thought of giving a young filly a very enjoyable time (enjoyable for me, disappointing for her) then her turning round a few years later to accuse me of all sorts of things, like that Judge Kavanaugh fellow, fills me with horror.
        Besides, wimmin twixt 35 and 45 are shrieking mental cases.
        I’ll stick to getting my jollies riding on dangerously shit classic motorbikes and rusty old shitbox cars.
        How about yourself? Is there a local lusty buxom barmaid to whom you could subject the Fiddler charm?

      • The fucking pubs closing down has been a disaster for my love-life,Mr. Cunt-Engine….my already somewhat limited charms aren’t helped by both the unlucky recipient and myself being sober.


  3. Many organisations have ‘ useful idiots ‘, because they’re, well, useful. They make wonderful scapegoats. The Labour Party however, seems to be overrun with useless idiots, of which, this dozy twat is a prime example. There is still something of a ‘ red wall ‘ in the North, but if they keep churning out clots like this, there won’t be one red brick sat upon another.
    Won’t that be awful.
    Good evening, esteemed Cunters.

    • Evening Jack, how goes it?
      Were you pleased with the appointment of Kier Stammerer as Labour leader or were you hoping for that hard left silly cow?
      Or that Lisa bird with the big tits?

      • Good evening Mr. Cunt Engine. I am well, thank you.
        What a sorry bunch all the candidates were. I think Lisa Nandy was the most realistic amongst them, but all a waste of space, to be honest.
        I am most pleased with your welcome return, but have to ask whether we’re gonna need a bigger sewer.
        I do hope you are in ‘ fine fettle ‘.

    • I’m assuming any organisation who considered The Flabbott a ‘useful idiot’ wrote that one off, well half right I suppose.

    • And speaking of big tits, is that Swanson wimmin still Lib Dem leader?
      Without Googling it, I’ve no idea who’s currently “running” that bunch of irrelevant cissies.

      • She’s still ‘leader’ until next year. The LibDumb’s leadership election was originally scheduled to take place in 2020 but was cancelled ostensibly because of Coronavirus but really due to a universal apathy.

      • If they’d both wear trousers and thick canvas sacks over their heads and nowt else, I’d quite to see some sort of “tit wrestle” between Jo Swinson and Lisa Nandy in a paddling pool filled with Jack Daniels.

      • Just as I suspected. I’ll give the sewerage firm a ring in the morning.

      • Well, I did state a pleasant wrestling substance. I ought to have said a concrete swimming pool and hydroflouric acid!

      • Evening TTCE – she is leader until 2021, and is currently trying to slime her way into the House of Lords – “Lady Screech of Clueless”!
        Not if I have my way, and I have been working on some legal things and it would appear there is a way to block her from doing it – I am not a fan of democracy denying traitors and do not consider it acceptable that she swans into even more wealth and privilege for being a failure and a nutcase!

      • Democracy denying traitor? Failure and a nutcase?

        She’s a shoo-in for the House of Lords, Vern! 😂

      • Your eloquent wit highlights a very true statement RTC! 😄
        It just grinds me how she is so damned arrogant after all her nasty tricks that she thinks she can just waft in there to cause more malice and delays.
        But one of the positives from coming out the other side of this is (hopefully) there will be little stomach for these rodents and their endless greedy shameless chiselling ways.
        And if we were all rewarded for showboating and failure England would be World football champions!

  4. Have you heard the latest conspiracy theory?

    Boris isn’t really at death’s door, no. It’s all a cunting plan by the Government, the Civil Service and the NHS to get the public to sit up and believe Covid-19 is real.

    “If it can happen to Boris it can happen to me! me! me!” 😳

    I believe it obviously. Why wouldn’t I?

    Meanwhile Boris can sit back and put his feet up for a few weeks while the economy gets flushed down the shitter, thereby paving the way for a Sir Keir Shitstabber Labour landslide in 2024.

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