Charlotte Church (4)

I would like a full on, attention seeking cunting for Charlotte Church.

This silly gobshite is obviously trying for some sort of comeback due to the fact the moon-faced muppet is on the telly in the news, promoting her new snooze fest where she pretends to love her family, say shit like fame ruined my family, my step dad only has six months to live and the classic, “I’ve made some bad choices in life”, anything to get back into the limelight. No, you silly bitch. It’s more like fame made you a cunt who wouldn’t listen to reason, all the bad choices including that silly, orange cunt Gavin Henson were all down to you and your belief in your own self-importance. Well get this.. nobody fucking cares what you do. You are a has been that fucked it all up; surely you made enough money to just stay gone. Next it will be a book like Lily, the musical mong.

Give it a rest and try and hang on to a little dignity, you silly, spoiled, adult brat….

Nominated by fuglyucker

164 thoughts on “Charlotte Church (4)

  1. I fucking despise Charlotte Church. I was briefly in Cardiff for a period of my life, co-inciding with the early adult peak popularity slag years for CC. I can safely say that she accurately represents Welsh women across the nation – hard-drinking, boorish cunts with abysmal genetics that rapidly decay their appearance from 21 to 30 years old.

    That period of time where her and Gavin Henson were Rugby’s answer to the Beckhams was fucking torturous.

    I wouldn’t worry, fuglyucker, this cunt is just exhaling the death-rattles of her celebrity existence, with one last desperate, wheezing convulsion of attention-seeking.

    Fuck off to obscurity Charlotte; your voice, your looks and now your youth are just one long-forgotten memory – the shrieking, talentless husk which you are left with is of no interest or appeal to anyone outside of shitholes like Port Talbot. Kindly hurry up and grace the Obituary section of the Caerddyd local shitrags, cunt.

    • Flawless appraisal, TECB.

      Oh, except for if you were “briefly in Cardiff for a period of my life”, you obviously didn’t look around you whilst there and notice that the spelling is not “Caerddyd” – it’s “Caerdydd”

      (Not helped by WordPress’ complete ignorance of Welsh, either !)

      • I don’t speak it Berters – the version I learnt at school is hideously outdated, sadly. Wenglish is the term used ’round here, to describe the bastardised crossover language currently bandied about by the yokels.

        A very good evening to you all, nevertheless !

  2. I like her. I’ve always preferred a bit of meat on the bone and Charlotte is certainly built for comfort,not speed. As long as she promised not to sing I’d be willing to give her a rattling.

    Fuck her.

    • In my own humble experience Fiddler, Welsh women are unafraid to boldly go where no skank has gone before. Methinks Charlotte would be capable of bedrooms acts which would make 1989-era Madonna blush.

      • I hope you’re right, TECB. She’ll need to be pretty broad-minded, I’m no Shrinking Violet myself.

    • “Heathrow apologises to Professor Mary Beard after she is forced to strip down to her ‘scrappy undies’ by security in front of other passengers”……..

      I’d have thought it should have read ” Heathrow apologises to horrified and disgusted passengers after Professor Mary Beard strips down to her undies in front of them”

      Desperate old biddy.

      Wouldn’t Fuck her.

      • At least he didn’t bring animals in to it this time. That bestiality site he keeps looking at is disgusting.

      • I first had my suspicions when he said he slept with pussies on the bed!

      • You dirty libellous cunts, it’s Miles who “idles” on those sites, no doubt where he hooked up with Willow. 🐴

        You’ll be hearing from my solicitors in the morning.

      • Suspicious looking post there from Mr Spoons don’t you think RT? I know it’s only a cartoon but you get that kind of thing on ‘other sites’ you know depicting stuff…maybe he has some equine desires? Strictly entre nous of course.

      • The voice of an angel Mr Fiddler. You have a love of the classical with your humming of ‘con te patiro’ is it? The emotion obviously high I don’t know I seem to see you doing a duet with her after a post-coital encounter?

      • Perhaps I could warble “How Deep Is Your Love?” down her love-tunnel and count how many seconds until I heard the echo,Miles.

    • Likewise me.
      Hadn’t seen that pic before; it’s now safely in the rogues’ gallery.
      I shall at least try and fuck her.

  3. We live in the age of emotional manipulation and exploitation .
    We’re meant to feel bad for her becoming a me me me luvie who thought she was the be all and end all then have it all coming crashing down.

    Well sadly I don’t really have much emotional sympathy for anyone except my own blood, and the fuck ups of a rich little cunt s really is the furthest thing I could care about.

    Fuck off with your money and just get on with your life and stop using your families to make more money (like that other cunt cunty price).

    You are not missed you are forgotten deal with it dear girl.

    • Speaking of emotional manipulation and exploitation…

      Anyone else watching Steptoe’s hand-wringing exercise about Grief-fell on AL-BEEB Fake News 24? Complete with virtue-signalling green tie and green heart pin!

      If you can manage 20secs of it without throwing up you’re doing better than me!

      Opportunist auld communist cunt!

      One thing’s to be sure: if Steptoe, McNationalise and the DFS leather sofa get in, we’ll all be having the Grief-fell experience because after he’s taken every penny he can from hard workers – in order to fund his importing votes scam by allowing the world’s scum in, no questions asked – the only thing we’ll be able to afford is a high-rise pod in a slum tower, alongside M’Tembe next door.

      The only difference being that M’Tembe doesn’t have to pay for his pod because Robin Hood Steptoe (steal from the hated hardworking to piss away on the underserving) will make sure he doesn’t have to – just so long as he keeps voting for the Labour communist regime!

      Total Cunt!

      • And wait for it Mrs May rebuking Con MPs for laughing at the tie (they probably didn’t know what it meant). (When I saw it I thought it was a funny tie to wear- a luminous green tie) And for Mrs May to get all moral about it when she turned up at the time of it and only spoke to the police and fire brigade for a Photo Op with not a thought for the victims and fucked off within an hour I think.
        When I hear the word ‘Grenfell’ my mind goes back straight away to the ‘King’s Cross Fire’. I happened to be in London at the time. I remember walking the streets and thinking about it. And have always took an interest in it; how it started, the severity of it. There was one unidentified man for years. Recently traced and his name added to the list of names in the memorial plaque in KK station. A tawdry bit of work by the way. It happened, it was big news but that’s it. People got over it. Yes, the suvivors. But with Grenfell for POLITICAL REASONS AND POLITICAL REASONS ONLY we can never move on. It was an accident is all you can really say but it will be USED AND USED for political reasons forever and a day.

  4. Off topic st greta of cuntberg has nobely turned down 40 grand/pity that could have had some plastic surgery and a boob job for that.if surgeons are miracle workers anyway

    • She doesn’t look bright enough to handle 40 large. It’d end up in some sort of trust fund for her parents to squander.

  5. Well if that vapid cry for help doesn’t work I am sure she’ll hop onto the #MeToo bandwagon and allege that she was sexually abused/assaulted/insulted/whatever by 300 blokes over a period of 15 years, but she has only come out and admitted it because she just couldn’t hold back on the mental scars/nightmares any longer!

    In other words, she wants to cash in on some bogus groping and fumblings when she was an innocent teenager, even though none of it is true, but that won’t stop the media putting her up front and centre for a couple of weeks – just what she wants to prick up her fading popularity.

    I wouldn’t even take her up the arse!

    • I suspect that 300 blokes over 15 years is a gross under-estimate of Charlotte’s turnover,tbh.TC.

      • Apologies for my oversight. Although in fairness those 300 were just men in Wales!

        I do not have the precise figure if one includes every other desperate/foolhardy bloke across the British Isles that has ended up clasped between her flabby thighs and filled her cavernous & well used pothole!

    • 300 blokes in 15 years?

      Are you seriously suggesting Charlotte Church only managed an average of 20 men per year, even allowing for her marriages?

      A 20-man per year laycount for a woman would see them exiled from parts of South Wales in utter shame. Please redo the numbers, Technocunt.

      • You can laugh gentlemen, but I suggest you take a look at MTV’s “The Valleys” for a clearer understanding of immorality in Cardiff.

        I felt that show was a pretty conservative depiction, myself.

  6. Speaking of emotional manipulation and exploitation…

    Anyone else watching Steptoe’s hand-wringing exercise about Grief-fell on AL-BEEB Fake News 24? Complete with virtue-signalling green tie and green heart pin!

    If you can manage 20secs of it without throwing up you’re doing better than me!

    Opportunist auld communist cunt!

    One thing’s to be sure: if Steptoe, McNationalise and the DFS leather sofa get in, we’ll all be having the Grief-fell experience because after he’s taken every penny he can from hard workers – in order to fund his importing votes scam by allowing the world’s scüm in, no questions asked – the only thing we’ll be able to afford is a high-rise pod in a slum tower, alongside M’Tembe next door.

    The only difference being that M’Tembe doesn’t have to pay for his pod because Robin Hood Steptoe (steal from the hated hardworking to piss away on the underserving) will make sure he doesn’t have to – just so long as he keeps voting for the Labour communist regime!

    Total Cunt!

    P.S. This is a repost because my previous post had the word “sc-um” in it. Come on mods, get a decent RegEx filter set-up FFS!

    • With that many fuckers previously holed up in Grenfell, I would suggest Corbyn is being shrewd as the sheer volume of illegally-shacked-up gimmegrants displaced by the burning tower of babel alone could swing Corbyn an electoral majority.

      On censorship, the fact that ISAC filters prevent me frum using my beloved ‘Sc-umcunt’ is unforgivable. You have my sympathies, Rebel.

      • Because of the high percentage of Um Bongo drinkers in Grenfell, whenever the Fire Brigade started bringing them out, they were told to stop as there was “no point bringing out the fucking burnt ones”.

    • Fucking hell, the Hunchback has been up on her cloven hooves again in the Commons, droning on about Grenfell for the last 20 tortuous minutes.

      Following her resignation I prayed to God we’d heard the last of the useless crone. So much for the power of prayer. God is a cunt.

    • It’s fucking Crazy, the fire brigade did what they always do, senior officer on site is in charge, as a more senior officer arrives they take charge.
      They carried out the standard policy, granted they followed it for a little too long but they didn’t know how quickly the fire was going to spread.
      The exterior cladding was like ‘petrol’ and the interior of the building was inadequate to withstand a serious fire.

      How much more do they need to know, whoever owned the building is responsible, simple.

      • Hasn’t Doreen Lawrence (Baroness Lawrence of Clarendon, OBE), accused the fire brigade of racist behaviour for not being quick enough to respond to the Grenfell disaster?

        She really is a racist duplicitous cunt; and fuck knows why she became a fucking dame with an OBE, while the fire fighters risked their fucking lives (again), get fuck all recognition other than being labelled racists by shitballs like her!

      • yes, that’s the first question the 999 call centre asks,

        “Are you Black or Ethnic”


        “Sorry, it’s going to take a while, the brigade will be there when they have finished lunch, in the mean time just trying pissing on the fire”

      • Any right thinking person would find such a remark offensive in the the extreme so why did the interviewer not ask ‘What evidence do you have for making such a statement ?’

    • They’re more like pendulous socks half-filled with porridge now. She definitely wouldnt receive the magnanimous man-yoghurt. I wouldn’t touch her with HBelindaHubbard’s.

      • “Pendulous socks half filled with porridge” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
        Fucking brilliant, I’m still laughing at that one.
        Thank you Captain.

      • “Infamy ! They’ve all got it in for me…”

        Taking my moniker in vain…

        Chubby Charlotte can handle my appendage any time she wants, and I’d give her an extra-long sucking too.

      • It’s you who’d receive the sucking, HBH. Right into that cavernous vortex of gunk to spend the remainder of your time lolling and swimming in the memories of a sea of a gazillion dead spérmatoza

  7. She used to be quite pretty. Now she looks like some old skank you’d see down at the DHS benefits office.

    She’s always been a cunt, though. No change there.

    • Even her gynecologist has to wear full potholer’s gear: rope, torch, crampons, depth gauge etc whenever she’s on the medical bed with her legs spread wide!

      • Not to mention the 3-hour decontamination shower said gynecologist would require once he emerges from The Mighty Quim.

      • For some reason Star Trek’s Captain Kirk’s famous quote comes to mind “To boldly go where only 500+ men have gone before!”

      • And just to get to the entrance is a three day hike with a team of boys with bushknives

      • Plus, the scaffolding plank, strapped across his arse, in case he slips and falls in.

  8. I’m not sure if I am recalling a bad dream, or if someone once laced my trusty cup of Earl Grey with LSD – but I seem to remember Charlotte Church having a very short-lived and ill-fated chat show, complete with her slurring her words and lying on the set armchairs with the unmistakable pose of a pregant benefits cheat.

    • Correct TECB
      Creatively named “ the Charlotte church show”
      Lots of z list guests and church telling stories about her backdoors getting smashed in every Saturday night on the way to the chip shop after pub closing time….
      it’s a shame church broke up with Henson they really deserved each other
      To the best of my knowledge Henson was the only rugby player to wear make up! What a cunt…..
      Even rugby legend turned shirt lifter Alfie Thomas wouldn’t do that…….

      • Gah fuck, it’s true – I wasn’t imagining it!

        I reckon though that a paperback compendium of Church’s ‘back-door smashing tales’ would actually sell by the bucketload, despite being a heavier tome than four copies of the bible sellotaped together.

      • Fucking hell my imagination is running into the depths of depravity thanks to you cunts!

        I have this vision of her coming home from a Saturday night on the town with a load of blokes, getting undressed and removing her well stained knickers, and all of a sudden there’s a massive gush of sperm – geyser-style, emanating from her well used trench!

        Fucking hell, I can’t unsee that horrid vision!

  9. Definitely second hand dartboard material but right up my alley. Lovely porky little tart. Likes a drink as well, so I understand. Do me nicely.

    • You won’t be saying that a few weeks later when you find yourself down the clap clinic.

  10. Change of direction but maybe not that much . . . . . . . .
    Today, Heathrow Airport apologised to Professor Mary Beard after she was asked to strip down to “her scrappy undies” while going through security. Yes, really.
    Airport authorities apologised and requested more details “so that they can look into the matter”.
    Don’t even go there!!!

      • Afternoon Dick. I first had my suspicions when he said he sleeps with pussies on his bed!😀

      • Sorry Dick, I’m on the wrong page. The comment was about RTC and should have appeared higher up re. him being rude and coarse.

      • There you go again.

        Blunty’s picking on me Admin, can’t you do something, like stop him from posting?

      • Well said Creampuff *jazz hands*, its getting like the House of Commons on here with Rt dishonourable cunters so-called ‘humour’.

      • Evening o’ wise one. I keep getting letters from your solicitor – K Vaz but I suspect his case will probably come up before mine. I think his friend Charlie is about to take over his caseload.

      • I’ve got news for you Bertie. John Bercow is joining the Admin team next week! 😃

        Bet that wiped the smirk off your face.

        @ LL
        It’s utterly dehumanising. I was considering standing for the Liberal Democrats at the general election (Heidi Allen’s now vacant seat), but the sort of abuse I’ve had to put up with on this site has now made me think twice.

      • Bercow? Ffs we’ll get no business done at
        IsAC HQ. He’s a bully isn’t he RTC?
        Get ready for a load of tribunals.
        I heard he’d got a Santa job on Brick Lane.

    • So now white haired female English, lefty, Classics professors of pensionable age fit their demographic profile for an international terrorist sufficiently closely to warrant detantion and strip search does it? Good. The more of these establishment/media wankers get to feel the full benefits of diversiddy the fucking better.
      But what undiluted cuntery! Heathrow’s rationale (if it ever emerges) will be a fascinating work of fiction, my guess is it’ll get swept down the memory hole ASAP.

      • I suspect Beard was being a total cunt towards the airport workers and, in retaliation, they made the sour-faced old cunt go through the full security rigmarole.

        Expect this story to run and run, including copious mention of ‘Teh Patriarchy’ and much blame attributed henceforth.

      • I’m suspecting that the phrase “do you know who I am?” may have been used.
        Chuck the old bat into a running turbojet engine…

      • Apparently, the other passengers, who had the misfortune to view the incident, are still receiving trauma counselling.

  11. Apologies for the off-topic, but I truly have no strength for this upcoming election.

    It will be the third GE in a span of just over four years. Add to that the seismic fucking Brexit vote, and I have just had absolutely e-fucking-nough of endless elections, voting, promises, bullshit and media types like Lara Kuntssberg whipping themselves up into an orgasmic frenzy over every moment in the run-up coverage.

    I don’t care anymore. I am desperate for a break from all this and for these fucking layabout MPs to return to their fucking day job. The cunts have given up for the last 4 years – perhaps we wouldn’t have such a knifing epidemic in the country if these cuntlords had spent as much time on their constituencies as they do posturing over fucking Brexit.

    • Is that old cunt still about with the election night “crapometer” ? Peter Snow ?
      It’ll be a long, hard night, this one. Charlotte Church pics to hand, Tissues, and a lot of “Issues”, I think.

      I reckon someone’s already spunked over the sofa; either the landlord, or his dog.

      • His brother, John Snow, will probably be on hand with his whitefaceometer as well. Cunt.

      • the last time I saw the election night crapometer it was being operated by a woman of colour (umbongo light version)

      • What election observers like John Snow want to see is for the Umbongometer to go up and the Whitefaceometer to go down. Expect to see these exciting innovations on the BBC election night special.

        Fuck off.

  12. Voice like a goose farting in the fog, and a mile of cock in 15 years, acting like a total twat most of the time, and stuck as far up her own arse you can tell where she starts and finishes, im so glad im not Welsh.

  13. C ant wait for the book that im sure will be next, mark my words just like Lilly the mong….

    • I would fuck her up the arse if I could put a plastic bag over her head and a double layer of sandpaper round my knob 😬

  14. I used to knock about with a bird from Cardiff who had 36DD’s.

    What is it with the Welsh and long names?….

  15. Am surprised we have no volunteers who would like to take her up the arsehole!

    Is this a first I wonder?

  16. Washed up old boiler “celeb” and pisshead.
    When asked to “show us your tits” she has to lift her skirt up.


    • Never fails to shock me how choosy some of you fruits on here are!
      If I was a single bloke id strain my spuds on Charlotte!
      Nowt wrong with her apart from shes welsh!
      You cunts must be seriously good looking to be so choosy!
      Freckles, tattoos, missing teeth, means fuck all to a single bloke, jesus a missing limb wouldnt of fazed me when single.
      Get some fibre in yer diet yer fucking violets,
      Get Charlotte gangbanged!!!😊🇬🇧

      • The single Miserable back catalogue of conquests must be a bit of a rogues gallery.

      • Admittedly LL, was a few ropey ones,
        Don’t regret any, what a young lad should do, sow his wild oats!!
        Least when im a old cunt crippled with pain, an the kids have dumped me in a care home, i can look back and laugh an say to the nurse,
        ‘I did yer nana, right ugly cunt she was!’

      • The last time I lowered my standards I ended up married to the first Baroness Bastard.

      • As a son of the valleys I will treat these comments with the contempt they deserve.
        Remember you cunts, I am doing missionary work in the wasteland that is the North. I have already introduced soap to Doncaster and cutlery to Rotherham.

      • If you Brought Charlotte to stockport, im sure they be plenty up for missionary!!!

      • I take it you have not seen ‘Sheffield Stainless’ (next door to Rotherham) marked on your wooden spoons (as in life) in Wales

      • Bo11ox, what use for cutlery would the groomers of Rotherham have. You tried eating Harees with a fork?

      • I must say that I concur.
        I would be delighted to spend a weekend up her shitpipe.
        Just so long as she getting the beer in.

      • To right but id have to do a ted bundy on her!and then i would give her one up the shitter! And wipe my nob all over the curtains at this point id probaly bludgeon her to death(ted bundy style)and roll het up in her own fucking curtains and throw the fucker off a cliff.SHE DESERVES NO LESS THE DIPPY BARSTARD

  17. I regard Charlotte Church in the same way i regard a gigantic, stinking trick-stop cheeseburger I probably wouldnt eat it sober and in polite company, but after a few pints and double measures of spirits, i’d dive face-first into that meaty flaps.

  18. She’s a big hen who’s probably riddled with it, I’d still do her mind you.

  19. Iechyd da and piss off.

    A receptacle overflowing with mixed spooge like a pub ashtray used to overflow with fag butts.


    • I have a picture of Charlotte Church with frizzy uncombed hair, showing her tits. It was supposed to be a selfie she sent to a boyfriend who then passed it around. Can anyone confirm that this photo is genuine, because I am contemplating having a wank and if I know those are her tits, it will make all the difference. Thanks.

  20. Been rodgered more times than a coppers radio. Still would though, nice big fat tits like slate layers nail bags.

    • Rogered more than a Copper’s radio and tits like slate layers nailbags. today’s best similes!

  21. Would rather freeze to death than have that in the bed to keep warm the only viable explanation for allowing it to venture under the duvet

  22. Grenfell, David Lammy and his “friend.”
    Three cunts I don’t want to hear about.

    • Lammy was on the radio just now. Apparently a friend of his died in Grenfell….

      Well I never.

      I’m sure I speak for all cunters when I say our hearts and thoughts go out to him at this very difficult time.

  23. Another Brexit denying cunt has run away from the day of reckoning in Decembers GE
    Step forward Nicky Morgan
    I reckon there’s going to be a few more of these snivelling quislings!
    Despicable cowards

    • It’s all because of the abuse she got on social media, apparently.

      A lot of these celebrated female MPs showing they’re too soft for Westminster. Better head back to Rodean to teach swan-munchers how to boil a fucking egg.

  24. I remember she got mixed up whilst doing a gig. Live on stage she said something like she loved being here in America. She was in Canada haha.

  25. I would Fuck Churchy and go back for seconds. As long as she did t open her Welsh gob and speak with that accent that sounds like their half wits.

  26. Everyone on this site is a cunt. Why? Because none of you have ever told me that KFC superuser David Lardarse Lammy had a friend who lived in Griefell Tower and she died there. Why do I have to learn this information from C4 news tonight?

    What an absolute bunch of uncaring cunts you are.

    Fuck the lot of you.

    And fuck Corbyn.

      • raaacccciiiisssssttttt cunt!

        What difference does it make that the block had more nationalities than the UN?

        There were a load of them on C4 news bleating on about nobody caring,etc.

        If you don’t like it: fuck off on your magic carpet Ali Bongo.

      • You all still going on about that bonfire in London?
        The cast of ‘mind your language’ died in that!

      • I heard the cladding went up quicker than the residents could say ‘Zim zal ah- bin’, which they did quite often.

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