Stupid Names (2)

Daft names are tedious, aren’t they?

Malia
Autumn
Mercedes
Chardonnay
Summer

The midwife must be as bemused as when you mistype into a search engine. “Serendipity? Did you mean Susan?”
What in fuckity were the parents imbibing?

However, it’s not just the ladies. These gentlemen haven’t rushed for the Deedpoll applications:

Keanu
Moon Unit
Barrack
Chucka

Then there are the foreign ones:
“Is there a Oisin Tadgh here?”
“Ah, to be sure, it’s pronounced Usheen Tig!”
?
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
“Name?”
“M’tangalay Gwan-cho’ Ooga-Dooga.”
“Erm…could you spell that?”
“You ISS a ray-CIST. Am gonna amake a COM-plaint.”
“…And this huge, old woman next to you with no teeth and who must be allergic to bathing, is it your grandma?”
“Dat be my wife. Her called Serendipity.”

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

The BBC Website

The BBC Website. Specifically the website on this occasion por favor admin.

We all know that The Mail, The Graun, The Mirror and all rags inbetween now consider journalism to be the lazy ‘repeat what is on Twitter’ and spin it accordingly. Proper investigative journalism is rare; but then these newspapers and their websites are paid for by people happy enough with their output to keep purchasing and subscribing. They might be shit, they might be low-brow but people in their target demographics are happy to pay for them in spite of this.

The BBC Website on the other hand is subsidised by the British public. It is an enforced tax imposed upon all citizens without any choice.

Bearing that in mind, please marvel at the home page headlines at the current time of writing (2019-07-12; 09:30):-

‘Tourists Across the UK Head to the Biggest Primark in the World’

‘It Takes a Strong Person to Attend Their Own Funeral’

‘Can Anyone Hear Tom Livesey Scream in Space?’

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Reveals New Celebrity Guest Judges’

‘Why You Should Never Mess With an Ostrich’

‘Would You Drink Camel Milk?’

‘Is It Ever OK to Break ‘Girl Code”?

‘Why Picnics Were Seen as a Status Symbol’

‘The Authors Behind a New Book Championed by Stormzy’

‘Can You Guess Your Netball Position Based on Phone Habits?’

I mean, what more needs to be said. The only thing I use the BBC website for is the weather forecast. The rest of the site is pure, unadulterated cunt.

Nominated by The UMPIRE Cunts Back

Vegan Burgers

 

Vegan burgers ?..
What sort of bearded cunt would eat a vegan burger? Something that tastes of fucking plants?
Probably the spotty beardy daft cunt that likes soya fucking milk. I hope they all die from lack of proper food. Burgers are the lowest form of food available, but made of no meat?.. what the fuck are these people thinking of?

Nominated by Jimmy the Spaz

QTIPOC

The latest gender acronym – QTIPOC Queer, Transgender and Intersex People of Colour.
They had their own pride party in east Londonistan on Sunday. Apparently the London pride march wasn’t diverse enough.

Nominated by Mystic Maven