Songs I Never Want To Hear Again

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Songs and Music I Never Want to Hear Again

I would like to cuntify certain pieces of music and songs that I NEVER want to hear again in my life. This list is not exhaustive but features some of the most irritating pieces of music ever created. I have heard them so much that I want to scream when they surface anywhere near my ears.

“Eine Kleine Nachtmusik”, “The Four Seasons”, “Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis”, “Enigma Variations”, “Water Music”, “Brandenburg Concertos”, “Concerto de Aranjuez”, “GYmnopedies”, “Moonlight Sonata” and “Bolero”.

“Yesterday”, “Satisfaction”, “Every Step You Take”, “The Girl from Ipanema”, “Windmills of Your Mind”, “With a Little Help from My Friends” (Joe Cocker version), “Baby Can I Hold You”, “Lady in Red”, “The Final Countdown”, “American Pie”, “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”, “New York, New York”, “Begin the Beguine”, “Annie´s Song”, “God Save the Queen”, “The Internationale” , “Happy Birthday to You”, “You´ll Never Walk Alone” and “Auld Lang Syne”.

That´s all for now folks.

Nominated by Mr Polly

98 thoughts on “Songs I Never Want To Hear Again”

  1. Anything using the chords E – A – B
    Such as
    500 Miles by The Proclaimers
    Sit Down by James

    Anything using the chords Am – F – C – G:
    Far too numerous to mention – thousands of the buggers.

    Sorry but I spent too many traumatised years playing gigs for idiot audiences.

  2. Agree with King Cunt. Adele and Little Mix. Pretty representative of today’s festering turd of a society. Sickening and piss boiling in equally measures.
    Would also like to add Bridge over Troubled water in whichever incarnation. Nauseating pile of shite. Nearly as bad as king of them all Imagine. I’d like to have imagined the lyrics set fire to and wedged sideways up that scouse cunt Lennon’s sanctimonious, hypocritical ring piece.

  3. Why is it that the truly great exponents of the musical art are (in their private lives), cunts. I speak here of Dylan, Lou Reed, Chuck Berry, Van the Man etc. The only creative genius I can think of off the top of my head who wasn’t, and was actually a bloody good bloke, was Frank Zappa. Must be a correlation between cuntitude and brilliant creativity.

    Today’s music is just audio wallpaper.

  4. Roger Waters is a cunt of the highest calibre too. Love him and his music too.

  5. Free Nelson Mandela , with every 5 litres of Shell
    Used to be a saying in Pretoria.

  6. Anything by ABBA. I’ve never understood why my parents’ generation always hold them in such high esteem. They really are one of the worst groups ever. I mean they’re laughably bad.

      • Remember Ron…….everyone used to say:
        ABBA….fucking shit but i’d do the blonde one though.
        The days of unreconstructed feminism. You’d get “defriended” on cuntbook for that these days.
        I feel sorry for teenage boys these days. Ok they’ve got unlimited access to porn but it’s not the same thing.

      • One of us is ugly one of us is cute
        One of us you’d like to see in her birthday suit.

        Classic NTNON. The video was piss funny too. What a comedy team. Thems were the days my friend, we thought they’ve never end….jeez where did that come from? Need a lie down now.

      • NTNON is a classic show; still makes me piss meself laughing even now. And Stephenson. What a piece of ass she was as well…

  7. Roger Waters is a whinging cunt and a bully and I can’t listen to the twats music anymore.
    He wrote a private letter to the Portuguese entrant in the Eurovision song contest basically asking him to withdraw from the competition being held in Israel ( Waters played Israel in 2006).
    He has tried the same with other artists and Nick Cave was one of these. In fact, Nick Cave told the cunt he would go ahead and play as he wouldn’t listen to Waters, and it had fuck all to do with him.
    I would be quite happy for Waters to take one in the head.

    • Roger Walters is a conspiracy theorist, anti semitic cunt, of the very highest order.

  10. My Way. “I did it all, without exemption”… What does that even mean, Francis Albert fucking Sinatra, you tuneless, pretentious, mafia-supported TWAT!!!

  11. Superb bit of cunting, Mr P, and a bit of light relief from all the gloom and angst of late!
    To the already noted excellent choices, I’d like to add;
    On the orchestral side of the spectrum, ‘The Lark Ascending’; surely the most tedious piece of music ever composed.
    On the ‘popular’ side, Francis has just beaten me to ‘My Way’, the most self-indulgent pile of piss ever written. Other horrors inc. ‘Send In The Fucking Clowns’, ‘Spanish Shitting Eyes’, ‘Aretha Franklin’s shrieking awful ‘I Say A Little Prayer’, Young Girl’ by Gary Fuckett and the Union Gap, and anything by that cunt Cilla Black. My personal choice for the most boring single of all time goes to ‘Please Release Me’ by that orange cunt Englebore Humpercunt.

    • That would be Danglebert Pimpledick, the crooning Neanderthal. What a cunt.

    • The Lark Ascending reminds me…Once In Royal David’s City, sung by creepy boy soprano (who will probably have itself transgendered before puberty strikes) No, cancel that. Anything sung by boy sopranos.

      • Know what you mean K. It’s the articulation (if that’s the word) that drives me nuts. ‘We-ruhh walk-king in ehthee airrr’, we-ruhh walk-king in ehthaa meed-ernite blooo…’.
        Fucking hell.

  12. My pet hates, in no particular order:
    Dancing Queen
    Anything by that overrated tosser Springsteen, especially born in the usa and dancing in the dark
    Anything by Michael Jackson and Urethra Franklin
    I just called to say I love you
    I got you babe (sonny and cher and the even worse version by UB40 – the subject of a previous nomination by yours truly)
    Anything by UB40 – whining sounding tossers, especially the above and red red wine.
    Baker Street. Gerry Rafferty was great, but I couldn’t stand hearing this one for the ten millionth time.
    All (c)rap, grime, drill, house, drum and bass and associated ‘genres’.
    Karma chameleon + all their other shite.
    Airport by The Motors
    In the summertime – gap toothed twat from mungo jerry
    Spirit in the sky
    Sugar by the Archies
    Wuthering Heights
    A child is born
    Anything by bony m
    Loads more, but my fingers are getting tired now, oh and off topic, a nomination for the oxfam lottery advert.

    Night all.

  13. Have to confess that my own list would include some classic tracks or singles, but they would need to go in the cunt locker because of the memories – of events or people – that they evoke, rather than the quality of the music itself.

    The yoof of today – and for ever more – will not understand that you didn’t always have immediate access to every tune ever recorded. A trip away, even a long car journey, needed a bit of preparation and planning if you wanted to avoid endless repeats of the same tired C60 cassette collection. (Remember those vinyl cases of tapes that we used to lug around?)

    3 months on an isolated and remote overseas deployment with only a ‘Now That’s What I Call Music’ tape has left me indelibly scarred by “99 Red Balloons” and ‘I come from a land down under’.

    Three weeks on a very small boat – a long way from land – with a choice of two CDs – Neil Diamond’s Greatest Hits or a Bob Dylan collection (fucking grim: may have been called ‘Miserable Dylan’) have left their toll: I now get quite seasick at the very hint of ‘Song Sung Blue’

    However, ‘Careless Whisper’ and ‘Nelly the Elephant’, bring back fond memories – a nostalgic stiffy even – of a Christmas spent canoodling with ‘a nice bit of posh from Burnham on Crouch’.

    Swings and Roundabouts, and all that.

  18. Handel’s Messiah is a great oratorio, which I’ve seen loads of times, but I can’t stand the Hallelujah chorus.

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