Theresa’s Brexit plan

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Hello children. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. Today’s story is about Nanny Theresa and her box of Brexit plans.

Now, Nanny T, according to Reuters, spent last Friday showing her withered old box to a lot of people and trying to get them to all agree that it was a lovely box full of wonderful plans. Well, children, when we try to get everyone to agree to something this is called “finding a consensus” and it involves all the people who Nanny T thinks are important.

On Friday Nanny T tried to find a consensus of her ministers, her divided Conservative Party and the Northern Irish lawmakers who prop up her minority government. But naughty Nanny T forgot some people didn’t she, children. Can you guess who she forgot? Come on, hands up if you know the answer.

Yes, Boris – please Miss, is it pikey bastards? Good guess Boris but no, that’s not the answer.

Yes Jacob – is it Albanian criminals Miss? No, Jacob – good try but not correct.

Yes Nigel – is it peacefuls driving on the pavement Miss? No, Nigel.

David, you’re a clever boy, who do you think naughty Nanny T forgot about? Is it spineless senior police officers Miss? No, David.

Well children, it is a difficult question so I’ll give you a clue to the answer – 17.5 million voters. Treacherous cunt.

Nominated by Fimbriations

95 thoughts on “Theresa’s Brexit plan”

  1. Cunting for the ” Stab in the back ” of the British People

    I write this with a heavy heart in the knowledge that even though there was a few brief highs in “good news ” story’s …..and a total failure of project fears actual predictions coming true..were getting  a’ “Dick Fiddlers Brexit day +1” prediction of a total betrayal of the British People.

    There were times I was buoyed by certain events,  but the cuntishness displayed by our elected leaders with significant backing of my spineless and gutless countrymen have saw me sucked under into the sea of despair where I will drown in opportunities lost and sunken hopes of what could have been.

    May will come back from Brussels with a deal , Chequers minus whateverwhogivesafuck……… its voted down by brother Corbyn and Tory eurosceptics  . vote of no confidence/general election/ more than 1 party promises ticket to have second vote/ split leavers between ukip and tory…. jan / feb 2019…..

    My proposal… ISAC UK PARTY

    CABINET MINISTERS:-

    PRIME MINISTER : A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

    DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER/ AGRICULTURAL MINISTER : Dick Fiddler

    PARTY WHIP: Quick Draw McGraw

    CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER: Asimplearsehole / NoCuntForOldMen/ 

    MINISTER FOR THE ELDERLY : Sir LimpLy Stroke

    MINISTER FOR CULTURE : HBelindaHubbard / Willie stroker/Norman

    MINISTER FOR IMMIGRATION: Rebel without a Cunt / Cunto / Deploy The Sausage

    MINISTER FOR POLITICAL CORRECTNESS : Thomas the Cunt Engine/Ron Knee /Ruff Tuff Creampuff /NoCuntForOldMen

    MINISTER OF LGBTQRRRTVSFTRECCFFEWKFDEKF: kravdarth / MincePieGuy

    MINISTER FOR ROYAL AFFAIRS :Freddie the Frog / W.C.Boggs 

    MINISTER FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS : Empire Cunts Back / Cuntflap

    MINISTER FOR SCOTLAND: Squint Cuntwood / Cunto

    MINISTER FOR DIGITAL AND MEDIA :OpinionatedCunt / Jack The Cunter

    MINISTER FOR EXITING THE EUROPEAN UNION: Squint Cuntwood and EVERY CUNTER ON THE FRONT BENCH!!!!!!

    All other cunters I’ve offended quite rightly by missing you from the front bench even though you’ve been on  ISAC years longer…. I’m promoting yous to MINISTER WITHOUT PORTFOLIO

    That front bench would sort out a magnitude of shit first term…..

      • Happy to be fat cunt Watson to your Steptoe, Capn.

        This proposed ragbag bunch of cunters needs some fierce competition to stop them falling asleep on the job.

      • We’ll hatch some demented policies like “No foreign aid to countries with nuclear weapons, language tests for immigrants and spinach soup every Wednesday.”

        Lunacy.

    • No MINISTER FOR DEFENCE Squint?

      I am more than chuffed by my appointment as Minister for Political Correctness, but wouldn’t say no to pressing the Trident button in my spare time, pretty please?… Unless you’re a fucking poofy pacifist or summat.

      In which case you have my respect, naturally.

      • Enough of this namby pamby talk about defence, I want to know who the minister for ATTACK is going to be.
        Thanks for the appointment by the way.
        Good evening.

      • No poofy pacifism here Ruff … as long as you direct one ICBM towards Macrons residence in Paris when it all kicks off the jobs yours

      • You may need to attend A&E Squint… cos I’ve just bitten your hand off!

        Consider Macron vaporized.

    • Fucking love it, a lot of thought gone into that squint – and I would do the immigration role like the Don – no wages thanks. Ridding my country of the shite currently infesting it and keeping England clean would be a pleasure.

    • As a newly appointed Cabinet minister I am already planning my climb up the greasy pole. I am preparing my tongue for some major arselicking and sharpening my knives to bury in your backs. I have also hired a private detective to dig up the dirt on you cunts. That won’t be cheap so the old Parliamentary Expenses are going to get a good bashing.
      Oh yeah……and I have decided to become a Remoaner. No point in missing out on this opportunity to fill my pockets with taxpayers money.
      Fuck you muggy cunts.

      • Cant see it somehow Freddie, I don’t see you turning traitor to ISAC or its esteemed scribes. For shits and giggles I would love to find out who is who and what they do, particularly RTC, Thomas and Dick. I wager there would be a fucking riot if that shit ever got out.

      • Minister of Sport will do me… I’d ban Sky TV, have the Glazers deported, victimise Manchester City FC, outlaw all womens football, outlaw all wimmin on fooball TV shows, put Serena Williams in London Zoo etc…

        Or the Culture gig as proposed… Close the BBC, have Simon Cowell arrested, send Little Mix to Syria, send Sheeran to Siberia, blacklist the Grauniad, make Doctor Who good and a man again (sorry, Jodie), bring back Page 3 (err, there is another vacancy Jodie, love…), have a ‘National Hate France Day’, burn effigies of Wee Burney on November 5th, give Lemmy a knighthood (if he was still alive), give Beckham fuck all (the cunt), charge Lily Mong with treason, abolish social media and persecute snowflakes… Fucking hell! Drunk with power….

      • Are we talking about a “Night of the Long Envelopes” here Uncle Adolf?
        I don’t think I like the sound of that.

    • Thank you !
      Apart from sharing the Culture portfolio, I could also do the occasional Minister for Silly Walks, especially during gout, arthritic knee and Farmers. Job share with Limpers ?

      First PP Broadcast: Linekunt gets the shit-bucket tipped over him.

    • I’m happy with that – if only to constantly find new ways to piss off the Groaniad, Al-Beebera, the Not-So-Independent etc.

  2. Ive said from day 1 May is a Jonah,shes bad juju,her only gift to the hard working straight 17.5 million of the Uk will be a Corbyn government.

    • She’s Queen Midas in reverse.

      And there’s no bad situation that she can’t make worse.

      • Only one way to describe her and her ilk RTC and I leave it to Millard Caldwell – this can never be said too many times.

        “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear. The traitor is the carrier of the plague.”

        Cicero’s Prognosis, Millard Caldwell

      • Absolutely Cunto – I printed that out and pinned it up on my office notice board last time you posted it.

        Also have your 100 reasons not to vote for Corbyn framed and hanging in our loo! Soon be time to update to 200?

      • We are heading that way RTC. I think the swivel eyed lunatic is beyond the 200 mark. I will have a nosey and keep you posted 😉
        Corbyn in the loo! PMSL!! Ours is called the Libratory – cross twixt library and lavatory. Some of the best research gets done on the old porcelain telephone.

  3. It’s not just our Remainer PM who’s fucking us over, it’s most of her Cabinet, the Official Opposition, the combined Houses of Parliament, the Civil Service, Big Business, the Establishment in general, lazy lacklustre Brexiteers, Celebricunts en masse, the ABBC & MSM in general – you fucking name it. Otherwise it would all have been done and dusted within 6 months.

  4. Bitch! Slag! Cunt! That slogan says it all……,the BEST Brexit deal. Listen you traitor whore , it’s those cunts who should be begging and grovelling , WE’RE in the driving seat, but you’ve managed to turn it the other way around!!!
    That’s not sheer bloody incompetence. As the OP suggests it was always the plan all along. Well good luck with that you stupid rich cunts. You’ve just opened the door for Comrade Corbyn. See how you like that you arseholes!

  5. About time old Maybot was decommissioned. She’s a traitor who’s guilty of treason against the British people.

    • Or some Poundland Godfather.

      “Il make you a shitty Chequers deal you can refuse”.

  7. I’m not actually sure if all of this bollocks is nothing more than a pantomime!! The whole non negotiation absolutely fucking stinks! Make the public think it’s not happening ( project fear) in the hope we can can push thru a brino and the people are just relieved that we’ve managed to nail a deal just in the Knick of time? Against all odds?? Lucky us!!
    Fuck off may , Ollie Robbins and co…..This isn’t what I voted for….
    CUNTS……

    • Against all odds is just about fucking right Q, this isn’t Dunkirk or a Jonny Wilkinson last minute drop goal, they’ve had 18 months since Article 50 was triggered and still fucking around making it up as they go along.

    • Bloody right Q, it’s been a sham since day one, with Boris & Gove bottling the Tory leadership contest, staging that phoney back-stabbing scenario, and Andrea Leadsom persuaded to stand down (I wonder what they had on her?) thus ensuring an Appeaser coronation. Had she gone through a proper contest, debating with competitors, she would surely have been found out for the useless empty cunt she is.

      The Establishment chose her for PM knowing Brexit would never go anywhere with her at the helm. Suspect the Tories also tried to throw the election knowing Liebour were more pro Brino than their own side – let Corbyn fuck up and take the blame, win the post Brino election, pretend they’re going to make Britain great again, then it’s back to business as usual. Cunts.

      I wonder why they chose this time to announce ginger nut’s bitch is up the duff?

      • Totally agree RTCP….
        it’s utter orchestrated bollocks!! And badly acted too……
        barnier is the pantomime villain I’m surprised we haven’t heard “ he’s behind you!!” Maybe that’s coming……
        I ain’t buying any of it……
        patronising lying Cunts!!
        We deserve better……

  8. I don’t think I will be able to watch the Remembrance Ceremony this year. The thought of this treacherous, sell out bitch laying a wreath at the Cenotaph, standing there looking all solemn and serious, is making my stomach heave.
    Stay at home you cunt, nobody wants to see your fucked up ugly face.

  9. Provocative from Plastic. On balance, all things considered, swings and roundabouts, at he end of the day I think ‘I’m for a United Ireland. It’s all this talk about ‘a border in the Irish Sea’. But is a border. A natural border. Isn’t it? Is The Mogg positioning himself or has he found himself in this position-as a possible next leader of the Conservative Party? He said yesterday that he wasn’t the most hardline of the Brexiteer MPs. Is that a positioning strategy? Could he when the thing goes tits up actually claim the prize?

  10. Steptoe has, today, branded the Tories “a shambles of a government”.

    That much I agree with, although I have thought for some time the only thing that is shambolic is May’s attempt to walk a sufficiently convincing line for the 17m voters that Brexit is happening, whilst at the same time plotting whatever deal she can get signed off by the Brussels Gnomes to remain in the EU. Her fucking masterplan all along.

    David Davies has called her out for being a cunt.

    Steptoe need not worry. He doesn’t even have to bother putting the boot in – the keys to No.10 are now within his easy reach.

    • She tried to hand Steptoe the keys at the last election… useless bitch couldn’t even get that right, clearly underestimating the electorate’s reluctance to see an anti-British commie terrorist sympathiser in No.10…

      • She appears to be having another crack at it, RTC. A blindfolded chimpanzee would statistically have similar success in throwing the reins of power to the opposition. I read it in the Daily Wail. Probably.

  11. fucked if i know how this fiasco is going to end. the simple fact is there is NO solution that is going to be acceptable to all parties going to be jolly interesting though!

  12. but the good news is Harry and Meghan are having a baby. hurrah! Sid and Doris Bonkers will be ecstatic.

    • Gawd bless ’em, that news ‘as bwought tears ter me awld peepers so it ‘as. It’s a bit uv news ter make ass hall feel a bit betta in vese times uv tewwible hausterity, ain’t it jast?

    • I’m hoping the baby looks and sounds like Gary Coleman from different strokes!! 😂😂

  13. apparently one poor deluded demented half wit camped overnight before the wedding the over day. . not sure whether to laugh or cry.

  14. I am considering, not voting in any future elections, as I have no confidence in any party, that can represent the will of the majority,

    If nobody voted we could return power to the Monarch, or have a combination of the best people to run the country and give us what we voted for,

    The other option is civil unrest, which given the current situation isn’t out of the question.

    Any other ideas fellow cunters?

    • Spoil your ballot paper – scrawl ALL CUNTS or something across it. Spoilt ballot papers are counted and announced by the Returning Officer during the results.

      And the Cunt politicians DO take notice of them. I know that for a fact.

      • Aye Ruff , thats my plan

        they hate when you actually take the time to turn up and write cunt/traitor next to every name on the ballot , fold it and pop it in the box. This is me from now on as ive been proven right that your vote means fuck all

    • We could have a new War Of The Roses though with the Houses of Independent Britain v. EU Cowards instead of Lancaster and York.

      “EU Laws, EU Laws, My kingdom for EU Laws” shouts a weak, demented hunchback leader before being knifed.

      Maybe it’ll be more like the Roundheads v. the Cavaliers, although there aren’t many Cromwell-type characters in the whole Parliament, just plenty of warts.

      Perhaps it will more resemble Orwell’s 1984, a continual state of confusing, obfuscating news to suppress us into submission:

      “Oceania was at war with EastAsia therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. We are not at war with the EU, they’re our allies; we’re currently at war with Eurasia.”

    • I have written to the stupid bitch prime minister and told her I will NEVER, EVER vote Conservative again.

      I have also contacted by local Labour “faggot” MP to ask him why he voted to Remain when 58% of his constituents voted to Leave, as stated in the Labour manifesto. Cunt never responded.

      Lib Dem’s are nothing but a “Dangerous Fantasy”. Clegg and Cable pathetic deluded twats.

      In the absence of any new “right of centre” party emerging with Sir Nigel involvement UKIP it is then. Big mistake to allow Tommy Robinson in despite him talking much sense.

      Sorry Tommy but imperative for the future of the country.

      • Excellent work WS……
        like it or loath it one thing brexit has shown is what an absolute barrel of rotten Cunts we have as politicians!! Lying deceitful treacherous fucking scum!!!
        And that the House of Lords needs to be abolished!! Motherfuckers….,….

    • Ukip or spoiled vote if there’s no Ukip option. Don’t forget Anty Pants Bliar claimed (when there was such a fucking low voter turn-out one year) claimed “everyone’s happy with the Status Quo”.
      A spoiled vote still gets counted (and they’ll still be cunted)..

  15. I hope the Libtards are going to keep an eye on this new half chat ginger cunt.
    We should demand a gender neutral name, the use of the correct pronouns and a non binary upbringing.
    The cunt can go to a posh school, like all the Libtards did, but I expect it to have gender neutral toilets and trannie teachers.
    We don’t want anymore of this heterothingystuff which has been the ruination of this cuntry.

  16. I think we need a new political party because all of the existing ones are a load of, what’s the word….cunts.

    I suggest Alternative for the UK or AFUK.

    What could go wrong.

    • What about “Constitutional Union of Nation’s Trust” Party.

      Keep Britain cunty.

  17. Two successive tweets on Nigel Farage Twitter earlier today. Bizarrely think both were serious posts.

    Register to vote and get Diane Abbott into power. She is the only one who can save us.

    A womxn of colour as prime minister is exactly what this country needs to heal the division caused by brexshit.

    Nobody can ever accuse the British of not having a sense of humour.

    This country is well and truly finished.

    • She’s already in fucking power!

      Unless they mean the powa Olympics – Special belly section eat-a-thon Annual Gold medallist at Nando’s:

  19. Just heard Mavis’s statement to the House today. The cunts were laughing at her. You have to hand it to the old trout…….she’s got a skin like Rhino hide. The EU fascists humiliate and take the piss out of her, her own Parliament laughs in her face and she just stumbles on.
    Just resign for fucks sake.

    • I can’t understand why Theresa May is reviled so much in this country. I mean, the Africans think she’s fantastic. Whatever kind of fuck-up she’s making of the Brexit negotiations, what I still can’t get out of my head is her giving away four billion pounds of our money, as an ‘investment’. Four billion!
      Don’t we have homeless British people? Don’t we have a job shortage and a housing shortage? What about our overcrowded crumbling prisons and our overstretched health service? And how many British pensioners are going to die this winter because they can’t afford to stay warm and feed themselves too.
      Ever thought of investing in this country you fucking bitch?

      • She’s already investing £80billion+ on HS2, what more do you want? Next you’ll be telling us you’ve found a better use for the £39billion earmarked for the EU!

        Some people are never satisfied…

      • May talks a good game but then you realise that she was lying when she does the complete bastard opposite.

        In fact I would go as far as to say ANY decisions she makes do not benefit any normal/average people in this country. Giving our fucking money away to foreigners like it has gone out of fashion.

        This country could have been great but successive governments have fucked us over and our shores have been infested with scum. Everyone who has any power or authority connected with the government IS FUCKING USELESS and unfit for the position.

        Worst Prime minister way out in front must be Blair. Second probably Brown but May inching ever closer to second spot if not already there. Really depends on what happens in the next few months.

        Stupid bitch. Will be so glad when she and Merkel have both fucked off out of it.

        Interesting to see where they turn up.

    • A 15yr old girl set on fire in McDonald’s in Germany before another taken hostage inside a pharmacy. Gunshots and explosions too, I’m guessing that’ll be those pesky far-right supporters again then too.

  21. LBC today on Eddie Meyers’s show. Subject: Duchess of Sussex’s pregnancy. Some snivelling scum cunt Guardian journalist said the monarchy was an irrelevance and too costly. Really? 63 pence a year?

    The Guardian; A paper that asks for donations on it’s website due to falling revenues.

    Oh,and Gina Miller is a stuck up arrogant CUNT.

  22. My Dear Friends. This evening I have abolished ALL taxes, and have ordered that all members of ISAC receive a significant gratuity by dividing the EU Divorce Bill equally among members. Enjoy.

  23. Here’s a serious question, fellow cunters:
    Assuming Mavis and the tories are fucking things up on purpose to hand Catweazle the keys to #10, what would first 6 months of his “reign” bring?
    Presumably a total market crash and almost immediate recession as a result of the immediate implementation of idiotic commie policies and ethics, but maybe that’s just me being presumptuous.
    What do you guys think?

    • Flabbott the Hutt as Home Secretary, a million more migrants, a big hike in taxes. For starters.

      • Compulsory bumming lessons and a month “teaching a lesson” at her Maj’s pleasure for anyone caught thinking that there’s only two genders.

      • He’ll replace Churchill’s statue in Parliament Square with one of Gerry Adams and join the Warsaw Pact.

    • Evening Mr Cunt-Engine.

      I don’t think that Labour,under Corbyn,will win the next election. I think that the Tories will let May deal with the “Brexit” betrayal. Once finalised they will ditch her for a new leader who will make noises about her getting the best deal possible,while firmly distancing themselves from the whole affair.

      I honestly don’t believe that Corbyn is as popular as the media would like to think,and believe that many traditional Labour voters are as appalled by many of his beliefs and ideas as most “moderates” are. Fuck me,if Labour couldn’t win after the disastrous campaign that the Tories ran last time, I can’t see that they will next time.

      I also think that there’ll be a market crash and recession regardless of who is in power.

      • Evening, Mr F.
        All good points. I’ve nowt amusing to add.
        So…the royal baby, eh?
        Half illegitimate bloodnut and quarter Um Bongo…no doubt you have some views on the latest regal parasite?
        At least, if nothing else, it’s knocked the fucking wedding off the top spot.

      • I’ve written a nom. on the very subject tonight. I have some strong views on the delightful news.

      • One can only imagine!
        I wonder if she’ll make it into the third trimester before Phil the Greek takes her hunting at Sandringham and has a little gun-related “accident” (like when Dick Cheney shot that old guy), blowing away the “Terry’s chocolate orange” cluttering up her womb.
        Between her and Kate, they’ve got less meat on them than a turkey twizzler.

  24. I wouldn’t worry too much about Catweazle. The money men will have softened him up long before they hand over the keys. Now, admittedly, Jezzer doesn’t come across as a man who can be bought and sold but every cunt has his price.
    More of the same is my guess.

  25. Sly News. Well not even sly this time. Blatant bias. Faisal: ‘Different voices in the Tory Party’ at PMQs. Shot of Rees-Mogg making his point. No sound. Cut to Boris making his point. No sound. Cut to Dominic Grieve. Clear as a bell. Grevious bias you could say.

    • The eat it is, I’ll drink to oblivion – or the Alcoholocaust. Cunting fucking cunts. Fuck the pissing, fucking lot of the fucking Troglodytes.

      Alright, now I’m feeling a bit more pissed, but I’M FUCKING PISSED OFF! Cunts, the fucking cunts..

  27. Re Harry and Megan. I’d shit in his coco pops and shit in her corn flakes. Mind you I’d bum her so hard she’d be shitting in a colostomy bag. All because Harry is an illegitimate sponging ginger CUNT!

  28. PLease please please can we burn Nicola sturgeon on 5/11 !
    I mean anywhere up here or down your way guys I’m not bothered
    I mean “ she’s a witch isn’t she ?”
    And we know what we do with witches ?????

  29. Spot on, Dick.
    It’ll be the usual mixture of fudge and whitewash.
    Then they’ll appoint some previously unheard-of, wet behind the ears scapegoat, and someone else’s political career will be all over by Christmas.
    What are the chances of them actually appointing anyone half-decent ?

  30. Hi fellow cunters. First time posting. Came across the site’ahemm’. Recently during a bout of man flu and scrawling the web for a better site than pornhub. Was I supprised to find so many upstanding cunters with the same views on the cunts of the world as my very self. From fantastic cuntings As diverse as peacefuls, parliamentary ponces, wimmin, the biased broadcasting centre and every lefty liberal sock cooking rainbow coloured eu anti Brexit traitor out there. Well done to all and keep on cunting on chaps. Ps a suggested name for jimmy Hewitts kid if it’s a lad “ terry the chocolate orange”. Just a thought .

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