Dead Pool [61]

We have a winner!

Congratulations to Dioclese for correctly predicting that Peter Sallis would be next to depart.

So the slate is wiped clean and nominations are now open for Dead Pool 61.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open in this thread only.

Good luck!


Fred West’s Nominations:

Clive James

Denis Norden

Liz Dawn

Leslie Philips

George A. Cooper

122 thoughts on “Dead Pool [61]

  1. Sepp Blatter
    Michel Platini
    Chuck Blazer
    Jack Warner
    Jerome Valcke

  2. Ozzy Osborne
    Dennis skinner
    Bill Cosby
    Anthony Hopkins
    Eric Clapton

    Congrats dio.
    I dont know how u guys do it. Do you research, or do you know something the rest of us don’t?

    I dont ever wish for someone to die but after dropping the ball on moore i really wanna win the pool once in my life.

    …fingers crossed. Sorry guys!

  3. Emily Thornberry
    Emma Watson
    Joanna Lumley
    Owen Jones in a “Plunger Pete” style fatality…

    Bugger it…Flabbott’s been half-inched – and you’re v welcome to her !!
    Andrew Windsor-Porchester, pantomime prince.

    • David Van Day… What a fucking I love myself cunt he was…
      Always fancied giving Therese one though…

      • Last i heard he was running a burger van.
        Erasure never even made the top 100 with oh’lamour, yet this cunt had a hit with it.
        So it must have been about the tart.
        He was also in Bucks Fizz for a while.

        I don’t know how i know this information.

      • Read do where that the cunt David Van Day blow £100,000 on coke when younger and had a heart attack last year. He ain’t got long left. Thereza Bazaar was sexy as fuck back in the day.

      • I went to school with David van Day,
        He was just plain Dave Day back then, fuck knows why he added the Van part ?

      • Doris Day
        Bob Geldof
        Barry Manilow
        Keith Richards
        David Attenborough

  4. I’ve had an idea for a little side game that I’m sure no cunt will go for and simply be ignored, but anyway for the few who pay attention to my posts , here goes.

    As we all love the Deadpool so much , i thought we could maybe have another competition called The Suicide Squad.

    Every now and then a sleb or politician takes their own life, so pick five cunts who may top themselves or show signs that they are capable if topping themselves , wait and see who wins , just like the deadpool.
    But coz suicides are rarer than deaths or illnesses, the wait will be longer and won’t get caught up with the deadpool.

    Just an idea from a bored insomniac.

    • Fuckin insomnia!!!!

      Just looked out the window and its morning already.

      Morning everybody. 🙁

      • I’m right behind you.

        Been up all night. Then those feathered tree dwelling bastards start tweeting their heads off at about 4 in the morning. Tuneless gits that they are. Even my postman can whistle better than that.

        Millions upon millions of years of whistling practise and still not a single one of them have had a song in the charts.

        The charts, do they still have that? Or am I being terribly old fashioned and out of touch.

        Out of touch, do they still call it that? or is there some special app or social networking site that has made it obsolete.

        ‘Obsolete’ do they still have that?

        Oh fuck this, I’m going to look at porn. They still have that, I’m certain.

    • I’d prefer a good auto-erotic asphyxiation nomination. Who can forget Michael Hutchence’s grand exit….mind,if I’d been porking that dreadful,titless australian, Kylie, I’d have probably done the same…..Wouldn’t mind doing her sister, Danni,a few years ago…not now,obviously.

      I nominate Prince Philip.

      • Michael Hutchence died hanging off a door handle whilst wanking his tiny pecker, apparently. His last recorded words were (on the BBC charity version of Perfect Day), “You just keep me hanging on…”

        TRUE…. or….. FALSE * FALSE * FALSE….?

    • Not a bad idea to be fair Birdman. We could also have next celeb to be busted for a sex offence, there’s even a chance you could get a double header there.

      Other games include the pick Katie Price’s next husband game.

      Next celeb to play the race card game.

      • Ta Sixdog Vomit.

        If a more popular cunter floated the idea, it may gain momentum.
        But the idea being mine?
        Largely ignored, just as i expected.
        But i wont give up. 🙂

      • Next cunt to OD? Next cunt to get a horrible STD? Next cunt to spaz out (there’s a big clue) over criticism of muzzie filth?

        Why, Lily Mong, naturally…

  5. Malcolm Young
    Bob Hawke
    Hugh Hefner
    Morgan Freeman
    Shk Khalifa Abu Dhabi Ruler

  6. News just in: Jerry Lewis is on his last legs. I didn’t vote for him though. Anyone else?

  7. BWB has Jerry Lewis, fuck it, here’s my choices this time round anyway

    Dobri Dobrev
    William Coors
    Jackie Stallone
    George P Schultz
    Walid Jumblatt

  8. Congrats Dio .

    Is a bit sad as used to watch Last of The summer wine with my old man before he passed ,now all three main leads are gone and most of the rest of the cast come to think of it.

    Ric “Woooo”Flair
    Vincent K. McMahon
    Gary Glitter
    Russell Brand
    Michael Schumacher

  9. Lilly Allen has presented herself for another cunting. She must fucking love the abuse. Apparently, the criticism of the Abbottopotamus is NOT because she’s a nasty, racist, incompetent, ignorant, moronic fat TWAT! It’s because everyone criticising her is racist and sexist. Give…me…a fucking…break. Seriously, the she was conceived, her mum should have insisted on taking it up the arse.

    If it hadn’t been for millionaire daddy, Keith Allen’s money and connections in showbiz, this simple minded gimp would never have been able to inflict the childish shite that she calls music on the general public. The woman is a fucking twat.

    • Another Flabbott fail. My goodness, this woman could be in charge of national security and she quite clearly has fuck all clue. Why does she just say that she read the report but it was some time ago and although she remembers there were some good points in it she can’t recall the exact details? You know, like a normal person would do.

      Instead she starts to talk like she is having a stroke.

      • Astonishing. It’s painful, but enjoyable…and awkward though funny and satisfying yet pathetic and childishly stupid….

        It’s akin to the feelings I had when I first watched Fawlty Towers except that ended with laughter.

  10. Fuck it! Mrs D wants a go but she’s too dammed lazy to put them on herself so I’m coerced by lack of leg over to do it for her. Serves me right for unchaining her from the ironing board and allowing her to think about stuff!!! Bloody holidays…

    Here’s her five –

    Lord Carrington
    Pierre Cardin
    Bill Roach
    Tony Booth
    Billy Graham

    Hopefully she won’t win or I’ll never hear the end of it…

    • I assume you mean Anthony G. Booth actor or is it Tony Booth the yank country singer? For clarification if its anthony say bleep and if its Tony say bloop bleep, K?

    • Two goes????
      Yeah I’ll have some of that.

      Eh, johnny/Juan , a guy i know from skipping stones at the beach asked if i could put on five for him too.

      Gemma Cuervo
      Lolita Flores
      Isabel Ordaz
      Los Chunguitos (both)

      • I see people are taking the piss outta you for Mrs.D’s noms lol funny stuff

      • My better half is a technophobe. I had to drag her screaming and kicking into the 21st century by buying her a book reader – which just happened to be capable of accessing the internet. Basically I got pissed off being slagged off for excessive computer time when a fair bit of it was being spent on M&S John Lewis Ocado Healthspan ordering stuff for her or looking stuff up or selling mainly her stuff on eBay or buying tickets or writing emails for her or… Well you get the picture!

        She still won’t write her own emails or comment on here. I have to do it for here despite the fact that as a former secretary in the home office, she’s a trained typist. Doesn’t stop her slagging off my typing either.

        She’s a bloody difficult woman 😀

  11. Well rather than cunt Lily Allen, may I cunt her ill fated sperm donor of a father, Keith Allen instead. If only he had tossed himself off into a wad of tissue that one awful day in 1984, rather than aiming for the reproductive organs of Mrs Allen, he would have spared the country and its ear drums a lot of misery.

    Keith thinks himself a bit of a comedian. His resume proves it, with such hilarious offerings as:

    The Supergrass
    A Film With Me In It
    Eddie the Eagle
    Lily Allen

  12. You’d have to be a cunt to nominate these five fine upstanding people considering the sterling work they do on our behalf.
    So, my deadpool contestants are:
    Ayaan Hirsi Ali
    Tommy Robinson
    Douglas Murray
    Sam Harris
    Geert Wilders
    Good luck to them all. How the fuck are they still alive!?

    • Douglas Murray’s piece was brilliant yesterday and today i discovered Tommy Robinson who could be my new hero.

  13. Microsoft are cunts. I’m on the road at the moment and staying in hotels etc. with wifi networks. So I logged into one but forgot to make it a metered network which is the only way you can avoid the dreaded updates. So microcunts downloaded a load of new shit onto my computer and now it won’t boot properly. The fucking cunty cunts.

    • Mircosoft Cock corporation is literally the worst company ever and I recommend everyone to use apple, linux or firefox instead. Bill Gates the dodgy humanitarian poof might possibly be the biggest cunt ever, I hate his smug face

    • Don’t reckon Iggy Pop’ll ever die. The man is an indestructible legend.

      • No man is god dick, I reckon Iggy Poop and Keith Bitchards will soon kick the bucket in the coming years. People should stop convincing themselves that they are massive drug addicts they both quit in the 70’s for fuck sake

        Iggy’s solo stuff is very uneven I thought The Idiot and Lust for life were good albums and I love some of the stooges stuff but hes released alot of shit in his career

      • I remember cycling a few miles into Dumbarton after primary school one wintery day to buy Iggy Pops version of Real Wild One.

        My mates were dancing to wham and i was rockin to Iggy.
        But yeah, a lot of his stuff is shite.
        Especially them see through slacks.

  14. Little Richard
    Brigette Bardot
    Sir Bernard Ingham
    Mike Yarwood
    Tony Bennet

    and since Dioclese has set the precedent Mrs Vermin Cunt Spotter would Like to nominate

    Petula Clark
    Chubby Checker
    David Owen
    Mikhail Gorbachev
    Gordon Banks

    • Oh Mrs Vermin Cunt Spotter informs me that Banks has been taken oh well its Martin Peters then.

      • Could Mrs.Magnanimous (not a captain) have a pop? Also my next door neighbour.

      • Right. I’m cross now.
        I know for a fact there two couples on here who post regularly under their own user names – same IP is a bit of a giveaway…

        If your Mrs wants a go, your neighbour, your fucking cat, dog and window cleaner that’s fine by me.
        If Mrs D wins – god forbid – I won’t be claiming, she will!

        So fuck off!
        Next time she can bloody well post it herself…

    • Brigette Bardot. For some reason I’m laughing my tits off at that one!

      • I know Sir Limpy and Historical Allegations are a married couple but haven`t a clue who else is being referred to!

      • You sure? News to me.

        Thinking about it, could be three. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you!
        Breaking confidentiality and all that.

        Nice and sunny here this morning. Bloody blown a hurricane for a couple of days tho’ 😥

      • I’m related to Dick Fiddler. We share an undying love and admiration for each other.

  15. I’d like to cunt Apathy. Especially political apathy. Specifically Voter apathy.

    “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those others that have been tried.”
    ~ Winston Churchill ~

    Whine Number 1: “I’m not interested in politics.” Fair enough, although it’s virtually impossible for your life not to be affected by issues, statutes and local /national decisions.

    Whine Number 2: “I don’t have anyone for whom to vote.” Possibly true, although no-one coheres to everything in a party’s manifesto.

    Whine Number 3: “I don’t believe my vote will make any difference.” You never know; some elections are close.

    Whine Number 4: “I can’t be arsed to vote.” Yes, if only that Polling station 300 yards away were a tad closer.

    Whine Number 5: “The parties and candidates are all the same.” No, they’re not. They share certain similarities, i.e. they’re all power-hungry whores, but they hold different beliefs.

    Whine Number 6: “I don’t trust politicians.” We all distrust them. These hussies would do anything and say anything to be elected. They’re full of shit. To win elections, these unctuous, lying lechers would walk over broken glass, crawl through tunnels of toxic shite and drink glasses of your cold, fresh vomit. We know they’re cunts; if you’re surprised when they capitulate, you’re the cunt for being so naive.

    These apathetic, idle too-cool turkeys will be the first to moan about the “bloody Government.” However, it took a long time to obtain the vote. Moreover, some cuntries haven’t got it. Use it. Open your blasé eyes, take your half-hearted, lukewarm thumb out of your jaded, spiritless arse, drag it down to the Polling Station, and vote.

  16. Now I am starting to think people are taking the piss by using their wives as an excuse to post more picks.If people want more than 5 picks ask us admins about it !!!!!

  17. I have four wives, and they have gone to great trouble making up that list of twenty cunts. Are we ok to post?!

  18. Michael Barrymore
    Boy George
    Oscar Pistorius
    Former Pope Benedict
    Dick Dale

  19. Bruce Forsyth
    Bruce Forsyth
    Bruce Forsyth
    Bruce Forsyth
    Bruce Forsyth

    Fingers crossed x

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