Emoji’s is a cunt.

I’ve been on here for a fairly long time now and like to think of myself as part of the furniture, but I am getting concerned with certain behaviour.

The Emoji, what’s wrong with good old fashioned letters and numbers? I come on here to have a whinge about some cunt or cunts, the last thing I want to put is an Emoji. It reminds me of the early text message days when some cunts would write in some shortened way that only a fellow cunt could understand. Anyways before anyone calls me an old cunt I’m 38 and I refuse to use the Emoji.

Emoji’s fall in the same category as Twatter, Cuntbook, queuing outside an Apple store for the new iPhone, and high fives.

What a piece of cunt. (is there an Emoji for that).

Nominated by Black and White Cunt

“Slow metabolism” “Big bones” “Need support”. No you fucking cunts, you are fat because you are weak. It is your fault and your fault alone. Society didn’t make you fat, McPukeburger didn’t make you fat, Glegg’s nasty pasties didn’t make you fat, you made you fat by eating the fucking shit.

And you can stick your fad diets up your fat arses because all you need to do is consume fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. Nothing more complicated than that, just plain old thermodynamics. Unless you are trying to tell me that the laws of thermodynamics do not apply in the tiny corner of the universe you inhabit?

You should be fucking ashamed of yourself you fat cunts, you are a drain on society and a fucking disgrace.

But so long as you have a big pair of knockers you’re on.

Nominated by Skidmark Eggfart

That cunt Juncker thinks he’r real funny and clever dismissing the English language and wanting to punish us for ”abandoning” the EU.

Well fuckface Juncker, here’s some insight:

First of all, you’re about as funny as pancreatic cancer.

English is a much more relevant language worldwide than French and much much more relevant than German or Italian will ever be.

In 10 years time, we will (hopefully) be going strong and there won’t even be an EU

In 10 years time, you, Wanker Juncker will probably have been dead for some time because you are a worthless sot whose liver must surely be close to expiring.

Spain only get away with their bullshit regarding Gibraltar because they are a bunch of gutless Dago Cunts who only even try this because they are hiding behind the EU when they try this shit, otherwise they know that we would happily send them on a one way trip to hell. Scratch that, just withdraw our tourism from Spain. That would fuck them in the arse economically.

The EU are only trying to intimidate us into giving into their demands because they know that the moment they lose the vast amount of money we pay to them, they will crumble veeeerrrryyyyyyy quickly.

So, to Juncker, Barnier, Tusk, Merkel, Macron and all the other obsolete mules in Europe….. in the words of Jim Cornette:

Thank you
Fuck you
Bye

Nominated by Prime Minister Sinister

Following the multi-elections with a particularly jaundiced eye. What a shower. A uniformity orf cunt. Characterless candidates that can only parrot the party line and some cannot even remember their scripts. All determined to say as little as possible orf any substance for the low attention span Twatter generation.

Once this colourless series orf elections is finally over who will remember them? Unless ISIS can train a fresh tranch orf cunts to blow their bolloxs orf. At a time orf unique danger and unparalleled opportunity who is oit there orf any stature to defend our wicket and bat for Blighty? Bugger all in my book.

In me time have shared a cognac with Churchill, heckled Atlee and Eden and had a go at those welsh cunts Bevin and Bevan (look ’em up Google boys). Cunts granted, but there’s me point, not boring cunts. Dreamed through the 60’s (although I do recall the embarrassing fuckdoodle orf our first craven and failed attempts to join what was then the Common Market in 1961. Yes that long ago cunts).

All started to go really tits up in the seventies in to the 80’s as the Polytechnic Political Studies students started to infiltrate politics eg Corbin and Livingstone and any number orf Tory drone clones. Depressing but contrast father and son eg Tony Benn and Hilary, John Prescott and David, Neil Kinnock and slap head junior (fuck, words fail me). Too suicidal to list similar orf other parties. Point is in each instance father a memorable cunt, son a flaccid douche bag. Viewed in HDTV the latest generation orf politicos seem to share a bad dose orf dandruff.

What is there to vote for? ISIS lend me some underpants.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke