Obesity


“Slow metabolism” “Big bones” “Need support”. No you fucking cunts, you are fat because you are weak. It is your fault and your fault alone. Society didn’t make you fat, McPukeburger didn’t make you fat, Glegg’s nasty pasties didn’t make you fat, you made you fat by eating the fucking shit.

And you can stick your fad diets up your fat arses because all you need to do is consume fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. Nothing more complicated than that, just plain old thermodynamics. Unless you are trying to tell me that the laws of thermodynamics do not apply in the tiny corner of the universe you inhabit?

You should be fucking ashamed of yourself you fat cunts, you are a drain on society and a fucking disgrace.

But so long as you have a big pair of knockers you’re on.

Nominated by Skidmark Eggfart

156 thoughts on “Obesity

  1. Having said all that, Doctors are a bunch of cunts and all for using BMI as a measure of fat cuntery. Body Mass Index is an incredibly crude figure which doesn’t take into account age, build or physical fitness. All it looks at is height and weight. I’m 175 cm and according to the MBI I should weigh between 58 and 75 kg. At 75 kg I look a bit thin, fuck knows what I’d look like at 58kg, like a fucking Belsen victim I expect. But if I weigh 76kg I am officially overweight. What cunts doctors are, always preaching to people, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t eat fat, don’t eat sugar or salt, exercise like a cunt every day like a hamster in a fucking wheel. So you do all this and live to be 150 and the cunts complain there are too many old cunts and the NHS can’t handle it. Never fucking happy, doctors. The cunts.

    • BMI is a load of cunt, apparently Johnny Wilkinson is or was technically obese. What a load of bollocks.

      • Yes, that is why it is shite. If you are involved in any kind of strength sport you will have a lot of muscle, which weighs more than fat. You can have not a scrap of fat on you but still be obese under the BMI. They do not use it any more in some places, but the British doctor cunts still do.

      • Never used it skid. Remember that pinch an inch ?That was aload of bollocks too.

      • See also, The Men that made us Fat.

        Big con trick to promote increased prescribing of statins.

  2. Fuck diets etc, the saying ‘A little of what you fancy in moderation’ is the right way.
    At the end of the day food is fuel, if your doing fuck all sat in your ass in an office then you don’t really need a lot of food to fuel yourself, if your working a physical job then or one where you move about a lot then you’ll need more fuel.
    All these cunts in the UK who think they are in the Mediterranean and eat their main meal at 8-9 pm at night and then sit down and watch telly without burning the tonnes of calories off and wonder why they are putting on weight need to wake up.
    When I want to lose weight I walk more, eat a massive breakfast to fuel me, have a few snacks during the day and have my tea at around or no later than 4pm, watch the calories as one fucking biscuit = 20 minutes on the treadmill in the gym, and I’m known to scoff a whole pack of chocolate digestives with a cuppa.
    Another thing all this low fat is bollocks, we need good fats (omega 3) like salmon etc, it’s the carbohydrates that mess people up. It’s turns to sugar and people especially women eat way too many carbohydrates. Eat a load of protein, and veg and a small amount of carbohydrates.

    • Sugar will fuck you up, big time. There is a film, called surprisingly “That sugar film” where this auzi cunt moves to a sugar diet. His normal diet was quite fat based, but good fat like olive oil and avocados and omega 3 etc. He eats the same amount of calories as before but just in sugar, no fat. Within a month he is borderline diabetic and has stacked on a ton of weight. It was all “good” sugar too, natural sugar like in fruit, not refined shite like biscuits.

      Moral of the tale, all calories are not equal.

  3. Went into Tesco earlier and they have Apples from South Africa for 79p. How the fuck do they get them here and on the shelf for 79p? Obviously not by Ship as it would take too long and the Apple would be soft (nothing like a crisp Apple) so they must fly the Apples here? Why the fuck do they fly fruit from so far away, and most of the Flowers are from Chile etc, so some plane is up there in the sky full of Flowers so you can buy them for the ungrateful missus. We the human race are the biggest and most wasteful cunts out there. I might commit suicide to help the world out, I’ll set up a ‘Go fund me’ for the funeral though, I’m sure you cunters will pay £50 quid each.

    • Look at Kenya.
      Practically every bouquet of flowers comes from Kenya.

      The next time ye see an ad for the starving people of Africa, and ye feel a little guilty at not giving a fuck, just remember that Kenya is a fertile country, but chooses to grow flowers for sad European saps that put dead plants in vases.
      Also coffee for hipsters.

      Another reason i don’t care for Africa.
      I’m actually looking at Africa as i type this.
      I just flipped it the bird.

    • Just looking at Macron’s Mrs, I thought it was his mum ..
      She has the face of someone thats been dead for a month.

    • This is called Globalisation, B&WC. It means that rich people in the first world can exploit poor fuckers in the third world and still feel virtuous. It is one of the biggest rip off schemes in history and would collapse completely if not for huge government subsidies.

      This is true: English apples are flown to South Africa to have wax put on them and then flown back for sale in England. How can that possibly work without government hand outs? How much is the latest iPhone? $1000? How much are they paying the poor chinese cunt who makes the fucking thing? $20 a day? If he’s fucking lucky.

      And the clever thing is they have framed Globalisation as if it is a good and noble thing. They have conflated Globalism with immigration and refugees while it’s opposite, Nationalism is conflated with racism and the “far right”, in other words code for Nazi. And most people are too thick to know better, the fucking cunts,

  4. David Baddiell (sic) said that fat people don’t have “bad” glands, they just enjoy stuffing their fat fucking faces with cake.
    I agree.

    • Any body else find it strange that after all the sacrifice of braves souls who liberated millions of people who where under the rule of the Nazis, David Baddiel and others, wanted their family heirlooms back.
      He even made a series out of it.

      If i had my way, Nazis grandchildren would be hunted and “sentenced” but paintings and jewellery ain’t that big of a deal compared to what else that was lost.

      When most if not all of us lost family members, how can we empathize with lost “stuff”.

      • Most “Chosen People” are rather fond of material possessions. My accountant is one,nice enough man,but,fuck me,when he gets hold of a pound coin it’s a prisoner.

      • And Baddiel is a fat cunt himself… He also milks the Jewish card, Hillsborough/McCann style… This nu-footie suddenly supported Chelsea cunt got all ‘upset’ over Spurs fans singing ‘Yid Army’…. Diddums Baddiel said it offended him and was offensive to Jews… Bollocks, of course… Spurs fans sing that song to glory in their Jewish support and annoy knuckle dragging knobheads at other clubs and grounds… David Baddiel made a series about stolen Jewish treasures? I bet he fucking did… It’s all the unfunny smug cunt ever goes on about…

      • Gaaaaaaaaasssppppp

        How many “J-bombs”??????

        I don’t expect to come on here and be insulted by Jaaaaaayyy-bombs!!!!!!!!!

        My eyes, my eyes.

        How the fuck did that get by moderation????

        Right now an innocent, topical, funny, jay-bombless joke is awaiting moderation.
        As i was writing it, i knew it would get caught, and i think it was the word that rhymes with “cherorist” that fucked it up.

        Jay-bombs???????
        no no no no no no no

  5. Simple solution for one on the right; drill the fat bag three more arseholes

  6. Crematoriums have limits on what they can cremate. It is very common for crematoriums to refuse a body for cremation due to the limited size of the ovens. Its a bit like trying to force the christmas turkey into a hopelessly undersized oven.

    • The first Mrs Fiddler hacked the turkey into bits when it wouldn’t go in the oven one christmas. Don’t know why the crem.staff can’t do the same.

      • Perhaps when they gassed-up sufficiently they could be towed out to act as mines when the refugees are boating over from Africa. A good dose of corpse-gas might slow the fuckers up.

      • Fuck me pink, the one on the right would need to fart to give you a clue.

        Bet that goes with a ear shattering bang when it takes a shite.

      • I just don’t understand how the manatee on the right manages to wipe her own arse.

        Unless she doesn’t of course and instead stuffs an incontinence pad under her blubbery undercarriage.

  7. Nicholas and Joan Taylor are cunts.

    I often moan about every other cunt in the world, but on occasion there is a story that reminds me what despicable cunts are in our midst.

    Sometimes even the word cunt doesn’t do people like them justice…

    • Why do we need to keep these fuckers in jail for the rest of their lives? Why not just execute them and save a load of money? Same with any fucker convicted of ANY terrorist related offence.

      • Execution is too easy, it would put the sad fuckers out of their misery and we don’t want to do that… I honestly can’t think of the punishment that would do them justice, but it really should go on for a long time… I really think for once that would put my taxpayers money to good use.

  8. The British taxpayer is getting fucked over at both ends, millions donated to famine in East Africa to help the sambos get fat, while paying to educate fat cunts like this not to stuff themselves. Fruit,veg and exercise = thin, KFC bucket and Jeremy Kyle binge = fat. Lazy ginger royal cunt Harry should go on one of his expeditions, mount this fat cunt, plant the Union Jack in her arsehole and claim it for queen and country.

  9. A.C.Grayling, I know you are a regular on this site so this is a challenge to you personally.

    After Brexit you and that other gobshite who thinks he’s fucking clever, R.Dawkins, said that the Brexit vote should not stand because less people voted to leave than didn’t vote to leave. In the light of the massive 25% abstention rate and widespread 12% spoiled ballots in the French presidential elections I wonder if he would like to apply the same logic, i.e. less people voted for Macron than didn’t vote for him?

    Thought not. Not so fucking clever now are you? cunt!

    • Just for the sake of completeness;

      Votes for Macron 20.6 million
      Abstentions and spoiled ballots 12 million
      Votes for Le Pen 10.7 million.

      That makes 22.7 million who didn’t vote for macaroon versus 20.6 who did.

      • Whilst I see your point unfortunately Remoaners unfortunately
        use exactly the same sorts of statistics in order to try and justify Brexit being undemocratic.

  10. Seriously how could that cunt on the right in that picture take a shit? I doubt if she can sit on a toilet seat so where or how the fuck does she shit and with all the food she eats she must ave a shit at least 7 times a day.
    Fuckin el man.

    • Watch the programme.

      My 600lb Life.

      Its all on YouTube.

      You see everything, from them having a toalie, shower, rolling out of their in house hospital beds, eating MASSIVE portions, getting bed baths, getting stuck on shattered toilets, getting stuck everywhere.

      My 600lb Life, what a great fuckin programme.

    • Is there a bog in all christendom big enough ??!

      Maybe a circular swimming pool with a seat and lid…

  11. interesting question if she stopped eating completely how long could she survive for ? i reckon a good 9 months.

    • According to their doctor Dr Nowazaradan, they’d soon die of malnutrition.

      Mal-nu-fuckin-trition!!!!

      They also have massive weeping sores in between the slabs of skin.
      Thats the bit I turn away from the telly.
      Also when they get the skin removal surgery.

      Eeuuugghhh!!!!!!!!!!

      • I bet that women’s pussy doesn’t taste good. Probably a mix of gone off milk and rotten cauliflower. Unlike Charlize Theron’s which tastes of the sweetest Rum.

      • Add the Flabbot to that B&WC and you’d have a lovely rum and black

      • A veritable rotten cod’s head combined with the aroma of a baby’s nappy sack that has lounged around in the wheelie bin for a fortnight, in the hot weather.

        Phew!

  12. Geez fuck a duck, fucking ginormous. How the fucking hell can you end up looking like that. Surely your body tells you when you have eaten enough, pure and utter greed. Feed me feed me for fucks sake. Now trying to root that would be like surfing at Croyde.

    • They all, ALL, experienced problem in their troubled childhood.
      Be it sexual abuse, abuse, name calling, feeling unloved, child neglect, absent parents, sunshine, clouds, trees, bees, and leprechauns.

      They all have excuses coz remember, it ain’t their fault.

      • ‘They all have excuses coz remember, it ain’t their fault’

        They sound like Scousers to me…

  13. This is a joke from Trevor Kavanagh’s column today, sent by a reader named Bill Goddard.

    A Labour politician, a TV reporter and a British soldier are captured by terrorists, sentenced to death and given one last wish. The politician wants a verse of “keep the red flag flying” . The reporter wants the beheading to be live on TV. The squaddie asks to be kicked three times up the back side.

    On the last kick, he pulls a pistol out of his smock, shoots three terrorists dead, grabs one of their AK-47s and shoots the rest of the terrorists.
    The other two prisoners ask why he wanted to be kicked three times before drawing his gun.
    He replies: “because when we get home i don’t want you telling the tank-chasing shysters it was an unprovoked attack!”

  14. I just fuckin knew, just………fuckin knew that wouldn’t make it by moderation.
    Juuuuussttt…..fuckin knew it.

    I told a joke that was in today’s Trevor Kavannagh’s column today.

    Have a geez for yerselfs.
    I tried…….

    • Wait for it……Blame it on Brexit, of course stuffing your fat arse full of Mackers is the fault of the EU.

  15. Why cant moderation be ditched?

    Why not let the post be and if anything untoward was said, let cunters decide for themselves?

    Its getting fuckin annoying taking the time to write something and then waiting on permission for that writing to be read.

    We’re all adults, and I’m sure there’s very few snowflakes amongst us to take offence.
    If offence is taken, then there’s always the chance to give back, politely.

      • The Disabled Toilet cunt also wreaked mayhem on here…. Now, he was a real twat…

      • Who’s this Ricky character you speak of?

        I actually missed the fun on both Saturday and Sunday. Shame.

        If posts can be deleted, then just delete “distasteful” posts after the cunter what cunted it gets cunted.

        I get caught up in it quite frequently, yet I’d say that i try my best to avoid known trigger words.

      • He’s a sociopath from Norfolk who likes to disrupt sites – especially this one.
        His trademarks are reposting other people’s comments over and over again, or just typing total shite and cutting and pasting over and over again. He also likes to do this using other people’s user names. He never says anything original or often that makes any sense at all. If he had something to say, he’d have been welcome. He’s not ‘distasteful’ just disruptive. That’s how he gets his kicks

        I don’t admin the site any more, but he hasn’t grasped that and likes to think he’s attacking me. He hates me and Anna Raccoon who lives up the road from him and went and knocked on his door. Because of this we know we’ve outed the right guy.

        He uses proxy IPs and as fast as he finds a new one, it gets blocked.

        Don’t confuse him with Bane who just types ‘Disabled toilet’ over and over again. They’re both morons and get the same treatment. Block and delete.

  16. Gary Lineker is a monumental cunt…
    He said this about the French Presidential Elections: ‘Huge disappointment, resentment and bitterness amongst some of UK’s fascists this morning. She lost (comfortably). Get over it.’

    But when somebody replied to him, ‘So, why can’t you get over Brexit?’ Fanny Lineker responded, ‘Missing such an obvious joke is a blocking offence i’m afraid.’

    This snotty cunt can’t even answer a civil question and ‘blocks’ anyone who disagrees with him?… And the smear of shite has the audacity to talk about fascists?!?…. Hope he falls off a fucking big cliff…

    • The only facists in this cuntry at the moment are those who only ever want to hear or extol *THEIR* point of view and no one else’s.

      And that – Gary – is people like YOU!

      Ok to crow about another country’s election result when it suits your (misplaced) libbo agenda (easy to be a libbo or socialist when you’re minted cos you can fuck off when your neighbourhood gets twinned with Warsaw or Islamabad – unlike the rest of us) but if anyone bounces that argument back at you in relation to YOUR country and you red card them??

      That makes YOU the facist Gary, not the folk with common sense who can’t believe that France has opted for 5 more years of EU oppression and “peaceful” insurgence.

      And everyone knows that in 5yrs time the “peacefuls” could well have a majority in that country to destabilise it further – which is just the way Soros wants it, the interfering auld cunt!

      Neo-liberals = old facists!

    • I can’t abide that rectum of rectitude, Lineker.

      A pious, jug-eared wankspangle sums him up nicely AFAIAC.

      His only and modest talent lies with advertising crisps.

      No wonder his Mrs ferked off. He was probably up in his private study, spanking himself over the Brexit referendum every night. Leaving her to play solo gusset typing.

      • Hell will freeze over before another Walker’s crisp passes between my lips. I might write to them and tell them that…..but I will relent if they sack the bastard. Does anyone know where I can buy “fascist” crisps?

      • The Fascist crisps are on the supermarket shelf next to the Third Reich Krispies…

      • McCoy’s crinkle-cut are pretty good, in that price-bracket; also Seabrook’s, and they still do prawn cocktail !!

    • If that odious little cunt Lineker is going to be like that about close results all the scabby 1-0 wins he was involved in (and all his stuffy goals) should be made null and void… But blocking someone simply because he doesn’t agree with them? There was no abusive language when he was asked about Brexit, the little turd just made a snotty remark and blocked the bloke… Lineker is a fucking coward… He can act all outspoken and powerful on social media, but he’d never dare do it in real life with anyone… He can’t even have a decent discussion or clash of opinions online either… Anything or anyone he doesn’t like just gets blocked… Streak of piss shithouse cunt that he is…

      • And Lineker’s wording sums him up… ‘Missing such an obvious joke is a blocking offence i’m afraid.’

        So asking a perfectly legitimate question is an ‘offence’?!
        Of course, he did it in his usual slimy grin ‘old mucker’ smarmy ‘nice guy’ way, but anyone who thinks somebody asking something is an offence is the fascist themself… If IS want some good publicity they can start with having his slimy cunt’s head off….

  17. Eugenie Bouchard beats Maria Sharapova at Madrid Open after calling her a “cheat”…
    Wish Eugenie Bouchard would beat me….

    • Ms. Bouchard alsp thanked people ‘rooting for her’….
      Well, I wouldn’t mind really rooting (for) her either…

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