Rickie Doubleday

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Once upon a time, a sad little man from Norfolk called Rickie, who’d tried really hard and failed at being a businessman, was given a computer. “Oh” thought he, “what could I use this for?” and he discovered blogs.

“This is wonderful” he thought because now he could tell the world all about the evils of cigarettes. So he found a blog and posted lots and lots of comments all about smoking. But the blog owner got pissed off with his endless rants and blocked him.

He tried a few more. They blocked him too. This pissed Rickie off greatly so he changed tactics. Then he found a blog run by a bloke called Dioclese. At first he was very restrained and praised Dio for his attitude to free speech, but he just couldn’t resist returning to his favourite hobby horse – smoking. Dio told him he should stick to the subject, but he took no notice.

It came to pass that a circle of bloggers Rickie had been annoying was formed and they shared information about him. It seemed Dio had got off light, because Rickie had lost the plot with many of the others, posting witty comments like “cunt cunt cunt” hundreds of times day! So the circle closed and they all blocked him.

And the circle were mightily pissed off and starting digging around. Seems Rickie was not so tricky and foolishly used his real name way back when.

Now Dio was admin on a blog called ISAC at the time so Rickie trolled it. It got many more readers than lots of the others, so Rickie could share his wisdom with nice big audience. But the circle closed again. Dio blocked him and displayed his name and address on the site. Rickie was furious!!! Now the whole world knew he really was a cunt!!! Not only that, they knew where he lived!

Then a brave terminally ill lady called Anna Raccoon discovered Rickie only lived just down the road so she popped in for a cup of tea and a deep meaningful chat. Anna confirmed that this really was Rickie the Troll and, from her experience working in mental health, confirmed he was a sociopath with deep feelings of inadequacy.

So in order to give him an outlet for his condition, Grandad set up a blog called “The Troll’s Lair” where some of his wittier comments were reproduced. Ironically, Rickie refused to troll it. Shame really.

So now Rickie hates Anna and Dio and Grandad even more and spends all his time trying to break through the block on ISAC so he can protest his innocence and tell everyone they’ve got the wrong man.

But they haven’t and he’s still an inadequate little cunt with sociopathic tendencies who’s failed in life and spends all his time pointlessly raging on the internet.

And the moral of this story? If you’re going to be a cunt, don’t use your real name.

Nominated by all the people he’s pissed off over the years!

136 thoughts on “Rickie Doubleday”

  2. I never got in until the fifth round, and it was the radio i was listening to.
    I thought Klitschko had it then, but Joshua turned it around.
    Fair play to the cunt.

      • Are you saying there’s something “homoerotic” about two fit men bashing each other around the ring ?

      • There ain’t enough money on the planet to entice me to cuddle some sweaty onion breath cunt for twelve rounds….

      • Eh, let’s face it, is football any different in that aspect? It’s 22 girly man bastards kicking a ball around and then sharing the showers afterwards.

      • It is a bit creepy, innit?

        I’ve been in many a fight, but i was always clothed at the time.

    • I only kept track via BBC; Klitschko had the first two rounds, Joshua the third, it was looking bad for Joshua in round six.

      Credit to Joshua, he needed to go for the kill and he did in a big way.

      • Met Joshua outside a club in Watford years ago, well done Anthony. Fuck that meathead klitschkunt.

      • Nah fair play to Klitschko. Glad Anthony beat him though, it’ll be Anthony v the Pikey soon.

      • With all due respect to Klitschko….. thank fuck he lost, to me the heavyweight division was dying a death during his reign, he used to bore the shit out of me with his matches.

        Now, no rematch please, just retire FFS!

        And a good evening to you BW.

      • I hope it’s Joshua vs the Pikey, the pikey is tweeted this:

        Wellldone @anthonyfjoshua good fight, you had life & death with @klitschko & I played with the guy, let’s dance 💃

        Piss off Fury, you scraped it on points and Joshua outright beat him!

        How long do you think pikeyman would last? I’d give it 3 rounds.

      • Evening to you as well, I like the name. I wish I’d come up with a better one.

      • Ahh, it’s fine, at the end of the day it’s all good as long as there are cunts to cunt.

  3. Trolls can be fun if they put forth effort, amuse and engage in a clever way. Some are just annoying though and are clearly unhinged, sad or inadequate- or tragically all of the above. The really piss poor ones drive me into a frenzy of incendiary based activities which usually culminates with me burning down the local orphanage. Horrible building anyway with its mock-Gothic cornices and spires.

    • It was the ice cold baths and the scourging that attracted me; you pay a fortune for that in the West End now ,….allegedly..

  4. I was known as “Picasso” when I boxed……………….I was always on the canvas…………………Cunt……….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  5. So Serena was Doublecunt? I’ve been living in fear since then, not to worry.

    • No, Doublecunt was pretending to be Serena. Not the same thing. He’s pretended to be me in the past but that doesn’t mean he is me…

      • Ta, don’t really understand trolls, but if they give others entertainment then I’m all for it.

  6. After reading through this cunting I’m not certain about my own status as a cunt. To be sure it is present, but I use Facebook for occasional rants about certain people of my acquaintance. I disguise their identity with aliases, although my Facebook profile is in my own name. I must be a dumb cunt. Pffftt! They’re absolute cunts, anyway, and the only reason they’re not being cunted at … Is A Cunt is because they’re not famous cunts. But they’re famously cuntish.

  7. Sounds like this double cunt is actually a treble cunt, get a life you cunt or just chiiiiiiiill man have a smoke

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