Dead Pool [22]


* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Entopy who predicted the demise of George Cole – best known as Arthur Daley in Minder. If you haven’t read his autobiography The World Was My Lobster you should do.
Despite being both a cockney and also in the RAF he wasn’t a complete cunt.

So well played, Entopy. Your prize – his and hers matching bathrobes – are in the post.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 22.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

69 thoughts on “Dead Pool [22]

  1. Please could I have:

    Ken Dodd
    Bruce Forsyth
    Gloria Hunniford
    Michael Douglas
    Melvin Bragg


  2. Bagged at the end of the previous thread for this Pool we have:

    Shaun of the Dead 69
    Peter Sallis
    Douglas Slocombe
    Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Brian Sewell
    Howard Marks

    Fred West:
    Clive James
    Denis Nordern
    Denis Healey
    Warren Mitchell
    Doris Day

    …and I’m having

    Dick Van Dyke
    Helmut Kohl
    John Noakes
    Mel Brooks
    Val Kilmer

  3. Chuck Berry
    Little Richard
    Jerry Lee Lewis
    Debbie Reynolds
    Sir Bernard Ingham

  4. Tommy Docherty
    Charles Manson
    Tim Rice (Fucking cunt!)
    Jimmy Hill
    Stephen Lewis (Blakey)

    • Oh yeah Mr.Manson to be honest I’m surprised he’s still kicking. I talked to some dumb americunt bout month ago and he was talking some shite about Manson being innocent. Just laughing my arse off oh yeah real innocent indeed burns down a school , sodomized some kid in juvenile prison, grand theft auto throughout his life, pimping young girls, brainwashed his followers into killing a bunch of people, himself killed Bernard crowe and sliced off Gary Hinman’s Ear with a sword. Practically a saint according to this american cunt.

      • The way some cunts revere the baby murdering cunt Manson (well, he ordered the heavily pregnant Sharon Tate to be butchered) as some sort of slacker anti-hero is sickening… Like that cunt, Axl Rose, covering a Manson ‘song’ and wearing a Charles Manson T-Shirt…
        Same goes for that piss poor Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson… It’s obvious where the sad little wankstain got his stage name from…. It’s as bad as some UK pop star naming themselves Brady, Sutcliffe or Huntley….

  5. Jimmy Tarbuck
    Dennis Lotis
    Sir Peter Hall
    Leslie Phillips
    Giscard d’Estaing

    if you please

  6. Old George Cole might not have been a cunt, but ‘Tel’ Dennis Waterman has been a prize cunt in his time…

    • Too true Norman. Had a hotel room on the same floor as him once and had to have a quiet word on account orf not getting a wink orf sleep. Cunt had a conga line orf low rent brasses clattering up and doin on high heels all night plus their pimps dealing drugs.

      • And I would add that was while he was still married to posh totty Rula Lenska.

      • Rula was sexy in Rock Follies… I have it on good authority that Waterman treated her like crap and bashed her about…

        Waterman was only one thing on screen: the cockernee geezer… He was eclipsed by John Thaw in The Sweeney, and although Minder was written as a vehicle for Waterman, George Cole as Arfur stole the whole show..

  7. Thou windfucker Stoke. Steal thee mine own nominations thou bastard. We will remember thee. The Good Lord damns thee and delivers unto me these sinners.

    Mohammed Ali
    Jerry Lewis
    Gerald Depardieu
    Freddy Star
    Leon Brittan

      • I thank thee for thy information. May the cunt truly enjoy the torments of Hell. I bespoke me Tony Bennett instead.

  8. 1) Lily Allen
    2) Ruggero Deodato
    3) Sean Connery
    4) Keith Allen
    5) Russel Brand

      • Dammit I had Morrissey a few pools ago, oh well live and let live. He also had cancer a awhile back could regress and remission. The boy with a cancerous thorn in his side anyone?hahaha although to be fair airports nowadays are torture and I hate the groping and random searches. I have a crazy racist idea(according to the bbc and guardian anyway) how bout we stop letting would be terrorist and terrorist sympathisers cunt heads and muzzies into the country. So we can avoid another bombing in London Underground or 2007 Glasgow International Airport attack and Lee Rigby

    • I had to do a google search, because I was sure I’d heard of Nancy pegging out a coupling of years ago. Turns out she hadn’t. Though at 94, I wouldn’t have thought she had much longer.

  9. A British munitions arms dealer, who has profited from the Middle Eastern wars, bought a job-lot of bathrobes from a bankrupt hotel chain in Iraq, and put them up for cheap sale on ebay.

    Rumour has it, this is where the all seeing eye purchased the bathrobes for the dead pool prizes. I look forward to receiving my his & her bathrobes prize for predicting the demise of George Cole in dead pool 21.

    Here are my dead pool 22 five:

    Honor Blackman
    Valerie Singleton
    David Bellamy
    Lester Piggott
    Bill Maynard

  10. Ricky Ponting (Suicide)
    Michael Clarke (Suicide)
    Steven Smith (Suicide)
    Mitchel Johnson (Suicide)
    Darren Lehmann (Chokes on humble pie.)

    Convict cunts.

    • I’ll list seeing how eye is busy
      1 Barack Obama (muslim supporting cunt)
      2 Pope Frances (Peado Cunt)
      3 Kayne West (talentless cunt)
      4 Ginger Baker ( Greatest Drummer, But Cunt of a Father)
      5 Benjamin Netanyahu (kid killing cunt)

  11. Since the Daily Fail won’t let me comment on the story, I’m nominating Daniele Watts. In case you’d forgotten, Watts was the Django Unchained ‘actress’ who last September accused the LAPD of racism, because a couple of its officers had the nerve to arrest her and her white boyfriend, for public indecency. Members of the public had phoned the police to report Watts and said beau, for shagging in their car, in public, with the door open.

    Well now, she’s written a letter of ‘apology’. I’ve printed it below, so you can judge for yourselves how apologetic she actually is. Personally, I don’t think it’s that much anyway, read on;


    ‘I want to acknowledge that when we met last September, I allowed fear, shame, and anxiety to prevent me from relating to you in a peaceful way. Hopefully you can forgive the fact that my heightened emotions disturbed what might have otherwise been a carefree stop on your way to a nice cup of coffee.

    ‘With all the recent news coverage on the issue of biased policing, we probably all have a clearer understanding of the subtle – and often bizarre – ways that racial conflict continues to haunt many people in America. Sgt. Parker, when you said sarcastically, “Thank you for bringing up the race card, I never hear that,” I felt provoked because I had previously encountered many disheartening experiences related to “being black” both in my personal life, and as reflected in society overall. Your willingness to dismiss my experience with sarcasm was hurtful, and caused me to respond defensively.

    ‘Looking on the brighter side, we do believe that the public discourse that surrounded our encounter was beneficial, as it provided an opportunity for the public to discuss, and more deeply understand the “taboo” subject of interracial relationships. As you may know, interracial marriage was only made legal in the United States in 1967, and for many, it is still a very sensitive issue. I am grateful for our meeting because it allowed me to examine the shame and self-hatred I had been bottling inside, and release it.

    ‘We truly appreciate role you’ve played in bringing awareness to so many issues.

    ‘With Love, Daniele Watts & Brian James Lucas.’

    Now, when someone has cause to write a letter of apology, it’s traditional to use words like ‘apologise’, and ‘sorry’. I’ve read the letter four times, and I can’t see either of those words. The first paragraph, in my opinion, is more sarcastic than apologetic. “What might otherwise have a been a carefree stop on your way to nice cup of coffee”? Wow, she STILL can’t accept that she did wrong. So straight away, she’s fucked up the apology, by not actually being sorry.

    The second paragraph is HER being accusing the LAPD officer of sarcasm, whilst making another, thinly veiled accusation of racism. Yep, definitely not an apology. The third paragraph is her basically accusing the LAPD of hating mixed race couples, whilst trying to be Martha Luther King (see what I did there?).

    Watts could not have been less apologetic, if she’d written letter that read;

    Dear Pig,

    Fuck you, you’re a racist cunt, and I hate you because you’re a racist cunt, and a pig, and you smell of bacon. Oink oink Pig.

    Hugs and kisses
    Daniele Watts.

    Oh yeah, I’m also nominating her because she can’t spell her own fucking name. It’s ‘Danielle”. Two L’s. I know that because it’s also my wife’s name.

    • She is a class cunt and she believes now that she’s famous laws don’t apply to her, She was fucking her boyfriend in a very public place with lots of children around. Black chicks are so ignorant and ballzy also have too much Testosterone. That letter of apology is a joke it just renforces her idea that she did nothing wrong and once again bringing race into it she is a rude cunt.

  12. Greville(peedo) Janner
    Bill(suck my cock) Clinton
    Rolf (The dirty cunt) Harris
    Dennis (The beast) Skinner
    George (bomb the bastards) Bush Jr,

  13. Can I have;

    Derek Hatton
    Jacob Rothschild
    Roy chubby Brown
    Noel Edmonds
    Richard Stilgoe

  14. Can’t be cunted to read through all the entry’s so correct me if I’m repeating anyone.

    Joao Havelange
    Sir Bobby Charlton
    Lionel Blair
    John Hurt
    Jimmy Carter

  15. Just one pick/request this time


    the ex-dentist who thinks wild animals don’t deserve to live. And I want his head mounted on my living room wall. No bathrobes please.

  16. The pert and flatulent one chooses thusly:
    Richard O’Sullivan
    Keith Richards
    Miley Cyrus
    Shane MacGowan

    I acknowledge that Keith and Shane are virtually indestructible, but I’m an optimist.

  17. From the end of the Dead Pool 21 thread:

    Historical Allegations on August 11, 2015 at 4:18 pm said:
    This seems fun. I shall have a try with these

    Olivier DeHavilland
    Robert Mugabe
    Charles Aznavour
    Tony Bennett
    Des O’Connor

    Sorry, CuntFinder General already has Tony Bennett so pick another one.
    Otherwise noted!

    • Choices choices. OK may I have the singing bumboy Barry Manilow instead of Bennett please.

  18. WTF? Choices choices. OK may I have the singing bumboy Barry Manilow instead of Bennett please.

  19. For Deadpool [23] may I please have
    Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Jimmy Carter
    Billy Graham
    Douglas Slocombe
    Grace Lee Boggs

  20. Greville(peedo) Janner
    Bill(suck my cock) Clinton
    Rolf (The dirty cunt) Harris
    Dennis (The beast) Skinner
    George (bomb the bastards) Bush Jr,

  21. Well done, Norman.

    I’ll have my usual five please:

    Clive James
    Denis Nordern
    Denis Healey
    Warren Mitchell
    Doris Day

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