Pudsey [2]

Dirty Harry Pudsey

Children in Need? Fuck ’em. Let ’em eat cake!

My grandchildren are being press ganged into acting like complete twats in order to raise money to piss up the wall on a bunch of overseas dictators and lazy bastards who are too despicable to look after their kids properly.

And the BBC needs to fill out it’s schedules with cheap puerile bullshit that raises their caring, sharing public service image.

Fuck the lot of ’em. They’ll get fuck all out of me like they do every year…

Nominated by: Dioclese

34 thoughts on “Pudsey [2]

  1. Well cunted sir.

    I am increasingly aware of the amount of charidee posters and adverts on TV trying to tug at my heart strings in a pathetic attempt to make me hand over my hard earned cash.

    I have no issue with charities trying to raise their profile, but now you can’t get away from the unclefuckers.

    If it isn’t starving African kids (learn to use condoms you stupid cunts), African kids who have to walk 10 miles a day to fetch water (move your corrugated tin hut closer to the water source you fucking retards) or mistreated animals in some third world shithole, it’s the latest national disaster in some far flung, fly blown dungheap (Ebola, earthquak, flood) that could have been prevented with 5 minutes of forward planning.

    I give enough of my money to ungratefull cunts every week in the form of my taxes.

    I am fucked if I will be parting with any more.

    • The reason they have to walk ten miles for water is that the dumb cunts allowed the wells that were built for them in the eighties/nineties to fall into disrepair. Despite being shown how to maintain them, the thick, lazy twats seem to think the magical mechanical fairy will appear to service the wells.

    • Have down some telephone work for a few military charidees – Help for Heroes, Red Crorss, Poppy Appeal and so orn. Received wisdom is that if one does not set a minimum price orn the pitch then most cunts will only give 50p or a quid. The whole point is to get your cunt to shell out more and £3 is only a starting point. When phoning some old tosser with emphysema (try it some time with your ear full orf choking and wheezes) the minimum one wants to extract before he snuffs it is a pledge orf a fiver or a tenner. The Holy Grail is to get yer cunt to set up a direct debit.
      The charidee business is conducted on the basis orf ruthless psychology. Recall cunting this a long time ago.

  2. Its those cunts that stand at exit doors of supermarkets rattling their charity tins that piss me off. They try to eyeball you as walk down with your shopping trolley and start to smile as you get closer, then they give a look of pure hatred as you walk past. How do I know if they’re genuine or not, they might just want the money for beer and fags. The cunts will get fuck all of me

    • Many years ago I was walking down Tottenham Court Road with Ricky Gervais (before he was famous, when we was merely the Entertainments Officer at University of London Students Union). A charridee collector rattled her tin right in front of us and with big mournful ideas hopefully said “Children With Leukaemia”. Gervais said “No, actually I’m FOR that…” It’s a line I’ve used many times since and it never fails to shock the tin-rattler.

  3. Legalised begging is what all the TV charity appeals have turned into. Yeah I do feel sorry for abused kids, starving Africans and victims of natural disasters. What really turns me off, is the amount of money this country donates to foreign aid, which is squandered on corrupt governments and dictators, who always seem to manage to have a huge military and live in opulence.
    Here’s an idea though.
    How about the proceeds from every traffic violation for a month be given to charity, or a weeks wages from overpaid footballers, Corporate executives, or a very sizeable donation from the uber-rich cunts from the world of entertainment. Or even the benefits paid to the scroungers of the EU. WHEN that is done, I MIGHT consider chucking in a few quid myself.

  4. Children In Need is a total cuntahon. It’s the same old shite year after year. The usual BBC royalty like Syrup Wogan, Fearn Cunton, Griff Rhys Cunt, That fat fucker, Corden, Jools Holland… There’ll be a crappy NeverEnders sketch, and BBC newsreaders rehashing something that Morecambe and Wise did over forty years ago. Throw in the loathsome One Direction and you have a cuntfest of epic proportions….

    I don’t think Jessie J has been cunted yet… First this silly tart was touted as a ‘songwriter to the stars.’ Doing a couple of shite tunes with Chris Brown and Miley Cyrus does not make Jessie J Carole King or Joni Mitchell… Then there is her own recording career. The audio equivalent of dog turd. Her autotuned bollocks is like a form of torture. This piss poor Katy Perry (and Perry herself is bad enough) has the nerve to tell us to “Forget about the price tag” when she has millions in the bank, probably lives in a a mansion and her knickers probably cost more than my electric bill… “Ain’t about the Ch-Ching-Ch-Ching?” Fuck off!

      • Very true. She’s about as attractive as a bad egg… The way cunts get up in pubs when they’re pissed and sing and dance to “Price Tag” without a hint of irony makes me want to chuck up… These minimum wage lemmings lap up this champagne socialism chav soundtrack shite. The same twats who also flock to the dancefloor for Tina Turner’s “Simply The Best” and The Black Eyed Peas’ “Shut Up” or that horrendous Maroon 5 Jagger bollocks… Inbred cunts to a man..

  5. And don’t forget about the charity cunts who phone when you are trying to ram a chip butty down yer neck. I usually say I’m going to place a standing order for $500 a month. Then say could they phone back because the line is bad……….

  6. Did I having a really bad fucking nightmare or is it true that another bunch of cunts are re-hashing “Do They Know Its Christmas”, but this time for ebola victims? Fuck me sideways. If its true, then this’ll be the third or forth time the fucking horseshit has been released? Someone should explain natural selection to these cunts, just so they understand that people are supposed to die now and again.

    • Ah, but what about the muslims? They don’t celebrate Christmas. So will that fucking tramp produce a another charidee single entitled ‘Do They Know It’s Eid’? I mean come on Geldof you religionist twat. You don’t want to upset the followers of the ‘religion of peace’ do you? They’ll cut your head off.

      I’m surprised that Messianic cunt Bono wasn’t there. He could have stood at the door with a bucket, demanding a couple of million from the pampered millionaires recording their part. Come to think of it, if they all donated £5 million each, nothing to them, they wouldn’t have to release a new fucking version of the world’s most annoying song.

      And for the record Geldof. Yes, I do know it’s know it’s Christmas. And even as a Catholic, I don’t give a fuck.

  7. You did not.
    It sadly is reality. The Fenian, self-promoting-could not-give-a -shit about his kids, tosser Bob Geldof is yet again poncing on the stage of self-promotion.
    The truth of the matter is that the “celebrities”, who parade their massive egos on stage in the re-making of this worn out piece of rat jisum are only doing so to assuage their consciences. If they really fucking cared about “do they know its Christmas”, they would shell out some of their own (not so hard earned) cash to actually do something about it, not just ponce around on stage prostituting themselves,.
    A self-righteousness bunch of cunts with Geldof as the Cunt leader.

    • Thanks for the clarification. I’m off to stick ice picks through my fucking eardrums so I don’t have to hear the shit.

  8. Did anyone see that cunt with the granny perm and the headband from One Direction on that Children In Need shit? What the fuck do women see in it?! He is about as manly as John Inman… Harry Styles I think he’s called… What a cunt…

  9. God alone knows what made me turn on the TV when that witless Welsh bint..although she is tasty, was interviewing Harry Styles and his merry band of faggots and he is most certainly a cunt

  10. Wrong Direction certainly are cunts along with most boy bands. They can’t sing that great but autotune can sort that out. They can’t play and all the music and lyrics are all written for them. All the cunts have to do is turn up. Money for old rope. I’m going to sound like Flaxen Saxon here but I’d fucking burn the cunts. Hmmm !

  11. Somebody in the pub said to me that they would like to chop One Direction up, put them in a blender, and then flush them down the bog…

    Who can argue with that?

  12. Geldof needs to realise he is such an annoying cunt his own family checked themselves out to avoid his dribbling gob shite.

    He should just send the equal value what his spawn and ex have jammed up their nose and veins and saved us all the pain.

    I dont know the line up as I turn the page on these attention seeking cunts but could be sure to say if there is no autocue In place the Geldof cunts is in trouble.

  13. It’s not often that I agree with Noel Gallagher (Bluenose cunt). But he’s right when he says “I don’t like the way that somebody (Geldof) suddenly decides that all the bands in England are going to fucking play and everybody jumps to attention.”

    I also like what ex-Duran Duran guitarist, Andy Taylor said about Geldof “Sure, we did it (Band Aid). But I see Geldof now as I saw him then: an Irish bloke with no talent and a big fucking gob.”

    The best though is from Adam Ant ” I was asked by Sir Bob to promote this concert. They had no idea they could sell it out. Then in Bob’s book he said, ‘Adam was over the hill so I let him have one number.’ One thing I’d like to do (in the photo) is kick him up the arse. Doing that show (Live Aid) was the biggest fucking mistake in the world. Knighthoods were made, Bono got it made, and it was a waste of fucking time. It was the end of rock ‘n’ roll, now hippies run the world, like fucking Glastonbury… I remember when Michael Eavis was selling joss sticks outside the Roundhouse. I fucking hate hippies.”

    Buy that man a pint…

  14. I recall that Geldof bullied a lot of acts into doing Live Aid/8. Tears For Fears had misgivings about taking part (in 1985), so Geldof unleashed his toilet mouth on them. Tears For Fears rightly told Geldof to fuck off… Geldof also mithered The Stones, But one of them said to Geldof “We’re not doing it. Because Keith doesn’t give a fuck about it.” Good to know this gobshite doesn’t intimidate everyone in the music industry…

    I also remember the smelly cunt saying on live TV “Don’t go the pub t’noight! Give us yer money!” My old man did a 12 hour shift fixing lorries the day before and he was ready to take my mum out (as he did every Saturday night). I remember my dad’s look of contempt and the v sign he flicked at the telly when Geldof got on his high horse to this day…

  15. Oi you bunch of fucking cunts, That’s my Dad you are talking about!
    Yes he may be a champagne socialist, smell like a dustbin and dress like the homeless but he is family.
    How many of your dads would go out at 4am and score you a bag of brown? NOT FUCKING MANY

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