Cape Town, South Africa

Cape Town is a Cunt!

That’s right. I said the city of Cape Town is a cunt. How can a city be a cunt you ask? Fair question. And here’s the answer. Cape Town, South Africa is in the midst of a severe water crisis. So severe in fact, that it has been announced that on May 11 of this year the city will no longer be able to provide water to anyone for any reason.

I have been following this clusterfuck for a while and have concluded that there is not a single individual I could single out as 1st Cunt, so I have simply decided to cunt ’em all and let God sort ’em out.

First a bit of background for those of you who are like WTF is this Yankee Cunt on about now?

For three years Cape Town has been in a state of drought caused by a recurring El Nino effect. (Look it up if you must.). The City is supplied by a series of reservoirs and due to a literal complete lack rain, the water levels have fallen below the minimum levels required to supply the city.

This utter fucking disaster has been three years in the making and has not been addressed. On May 11 the city is turning off the spout and setting up “water distribution” points, where under the protection of the South African Police Service, water rations will be distributed to the populace.

What could go wrong with this plan? 🤔

Who is responsible? 🤔

On with the cunting!

1. Patricia de Lille is Mayor of Cape Town and one who deserves cunting. As Mayor she is the chief executive officer of the city and has been in office since before the crisis began. She has not dealt with the problem and by one press account has been removed from all dealing in this mess. She is of course a liberal and a founding member of the Democratic Alliance party. She is a crusading Social Justice Warrior and a crony of Kofi Annan who has been accused of election misconduct. She has won a shit load of awards and is one of the most respected cunts in Africa. But she didn’t address the problem of her city running out of water. Miserable fucking cunt!

2. The CapeTown city “Bureaucracy.”. This collective bunch of nameless cunts have spent 3 years tickling each others twats rather than dealing with the problem. A water desalination plant was proposed and a company whith experience building them (in Australia I believe) tried to negotiate with them and eventually backed out. A study done by some cunts (typical way government deals with a crisis) found that due to…and I quote…” a high level of bureaucracy, lack of urgency and an inadequate proposed supply”…that they were unable to…”deal effectively and timeously (sic)”…with the problem. Worthless Fucking cunts!

3. The citizens of Cape Town. According to some press reports the good citizens simply didn’t take the matter seriously and didn’t reduce or conserve water as recommended, thereby exacerbating the problem. It’s too late now. Dumb fucking cunts!

4. The Climate Change Mafia. These fucking cunts are chalking this mess up to man made climate change and exploiting it for their own nefarious goals. It goes without saying that they too offered no practical solutions. The reality is that El Nino and it’s counter part La Nina are documented weather patterns that account for precipitation, or the lack thereof, in climes the world over. The last time El Nino effected Cape Town in a severe manner was 1933. (For those of you who don’t know your history google “The Dust Bowl” and learn what my ancestors dealt with in the same years when El Nino also affected the land of consumption and the home of excess.) But the reality of historical weather patterns disturbs the Climate Change Dogma so they just dismiss it and continue to spew their propaganda. Stupid fucking cunts.

5. The Western Cape Provincial Cabinet. Other than being an arm of South African government I don’t really know who these cunts are. Whoever they are, they didn’t do a fucking thing! Now their response is to say it’s our responsibility to provide water.
To that end they are setting up armed distribution points around the city. So another group of governmental cunts abdicated responsibility and now at gunpoint they will decide how much water a person can have. Despicable fucking cunts!

A few quick facts. A human being can survive for about 3 weeks without water. A healthy adult man should have 3.7 liters per day and a healthy adult woman should have 2.7 liters a day. I don’t have numbers for infants, children, the sick or the elderly.

What happens when an entire city runs out of water? Who drinks? Who thirsts? Who survives? Who suffers? Who lives? Who dies? Well boys and girls we’re about to find out.

So with this 21st century, brave new world crisis looming over the horizon, I proudly cunt Cape Town et al!

Nominated by General Cuntster.

Russians

Russians are cunts, all of them. I just recently got back from 6 months in Thailand (Pattaya, shit hole) and the place is infested with Russian cunts. Huge brutes with shaven heads and covered in tattoos. And that’s just the women! Pig ignorant and arrogant as fuck, on one occasion I was actually pushed out of the way by a gang of the cunts. The women are chisel faced shrews with an expression like a bulldog chewing a wasp licking a nettle and the kids are noisy little cunts allowed to run riot and do exactly what they like. My apartment was opposite a Russian prostitutes, typical hard faced scrawny blond cunt. She would often just leave bags of garbage outside her door instead of walking 15 meters to put it down the garbage chute. Then she would leave her door open and play loud music while cooking something that smelled like fried onion mixed with dog shit. In her favour she never brought any of her clients back, at least she knew not to shit on her own doorstep but even a dog has sense enough not to do that.

I have never met a nice Russian, never.

Nominated by Skidmark Eggfart.

Justin Trudeau [2]

May I present Islamophile metrosexual Justin Trudeau for consideration on the award-winning website ISAC.

Not content with turning Canadia (not a typo) into a haven for violent members of the Religion That Must Never Be Criticised, Trudeau has recently tried to curry (is this racist?) favour with the misandrist zealots of feminism. In an appearance at a town hall meeting, Trudeau corrected a woman who used the word ‘mankind’ in a question, saying ‘peoplekind’ was more inclusive.

Two points:

1/ Isn’t a man, especially a white, cisgender, (allegedly) heterosexual man, correcting a woman an invasion of her safe space? It may even be a hate crime.

2/ Isn’t ‘peoplekind’ the sort of mangled non-word a six year old would come up with? Surely the modern way of replacing ‘mankind’ would be ‘humankind’?

Overall Trudeau is a total and utter bellend. His ascent to the prime ministership of Canadia was no doubt eased by being the son(?) of a former PM. I don’t know if Trudeau sr. was as big a nob as his son, before my time. Perhaps contributors of a certain vintage like Sir Limply and Dioclese could enlighten me.

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.

Nana’s magic soup from Tesco

First post so you’ll all probably think I’m a cunt (which is bang on the money to be fair) but anyway Nana’s Magic Soup is over ripe for a cunting.

Just had to sit through this sickeningly twee and smug inclusivity propaganda film from Tesco, which despite peddling this soft and fuzzy shite ironically enjoys taking over new territory as much as the Nazis. Not so inclusive when it comes to putting the local peaceful’s corner shop out of business by undercutting him with yet another fucking Tesco Metro are they?

In case you’ve missed it this exercise in cuntery consists of a bog average British grandmother (i.e. not white) cooking some soup for her equally British grandson. It’s clearly aimed at trying to increase the health of the retarded Greggs chomping public and not designed to get them to buy a shit load of produce from cuddly old Tesco rather than a tin of Heinz.

At the end of the day though I don’t need any fucker giving me step by step instructions on how to put some ingredients in a pan and boil them up so fuck off with your diverse recipes for fucking retards Tesco cunts.

If you’re too fucking thick to cook basic food then gorge yourself every day at the local fried chicken shop so you die at 55 and I haven’t got to have my taxes spunked on paying for you to sit clogging your arteries and watching Homes Under the cunting Hammer on your fat, thrombosis ridden arses.

Patronising PC Tesco cunts and spastic general public cunts. Fuck off the lot of you.

Nominated by Sutcliffe’s Truth Hammer.

Black Panther


Can we have an overblown, all singing, all dancing cunting for Black Panther.
Not because it features mainly black actors.
Not for the overhyped plugs it is getting.
But because it is shit.

Judging by the trailers it is yet another lazy, stereotypical superhero pic. More pathetic video game than film. If it is aimed at black audiences then presumably Hollywood assumes they are 13 year old boys who are as thick as pigshit, just like the usual target audience.

If we need ‘black’ films then at least do not insult the intelligence of the audience or the cast. Make a fucking film where actual acting is required.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble