Arthur Smith – Comedian & Cunt

….Professional Cockney and typical BBC material.

I can’t believe that this slimy saggy-faced socialist shit-bag has managed to evade a cunting for so long.

Too ugly to have his face on tv, the droning cunt does the voiceover for the dire daytime tv programme ‘Money for Nothing’, starring the uber prim Sarah “I never shit” Moore.

The cunt, who’s a year younger than me but looks 15 years older, claims to be teetotal following a nearly (but not quite near enough in my opinion) fatal attack of pancreatitis.
I forgot to mention that the piss-head has been described as being a “comedian”.You maast be aaavin’a larf, Arfur.

Have a relapse and go on a life-threatening bender and give us all a laugh, you boring cunt! The first drink’s on me.

Nominated by: cuntator 

Sir Jonathan Jones

A triplicate cunting please for this whey-faced senior civil servant, who looks a bit of a nancy, frankly, who has resigned his well paid job because he has had a hissy fit about the government intending to break the Brexit bollocks by possibly breaking a minor part of international law:

I suspect that he is yet another namby pamby remainer, but needless to say Wireless 4 is having a circle jerk over the little motherfuckers action. Take him to the caning room and get the rattan cane nice and supple

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(Don’t suppose this bloke no one outside of Whitehall has ever heard of, will hand back his gong for Services to Overpaid Mardy Cunts! – DA)

Matt Hancock (MP and Total Cunt)

Born in October 1978 and again in March 2020 this former jockey who won a horse race despite not riding one at the time deserves the ultimate in cunting for his amoral, anti-intellectual and totally aggressive arrogance and insensitivity toward the great British public.

This plastic person who thinks he’s more intelligent than AI – and don’t forget he thinks that AI is great is promulgating the mythology of the rabid disease that kills everyone because he stands to gain from from it – “don’t kill granny” is his motto despite all the scientific evidence that shows his covid arguments are threadbare and totally delusional.

How this man’s rise to ‘fame’ by locking up the whole country and then telling us how to behave, what to wear, what to do has any value is totally ingenious. It also mirrors the total stupidity of the British public by buying this man’s snake oil merchandising. Hancock is a cunt of the highest order and should be in gaol for his criminal activities

Nominated by: Lana Del Cunt

Lily Allen gets Hitched! (12)

Cue the confetti please for a cunting for the recently married campaigner, protester and slapper, Lily Allen, who celebrated her nuptials by putting her horse teeth into a burger, having been married by an “Elvis” lookalike:

It’s not exactly Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier, but seems to be just downmarket enough to be at a level she can understand, poor tart.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(Any “migrants” invited? – DA)

Tinnitus (Ringing in the Ears)

I’d like to nominate the sound of ringing in my ears.
It’s been going on for a while but lately getting more annoying.

I’m not sure how to describe it properly. A long beep sound.

If I’m busy doing something I don’t notice it as much. When I’m in a quiet place I notice it more. In the library, in bed with my ear against a pillow for instance.

I’m not sure how it started. It could be from loud music at discos all those years ago.
I might have had the volume turned up on the cassette player too loud listening to it with earphones when *out and about.

Or it could be when I was run over it made it worse and more noticeable. Who knows?
I’m not sure how it works.

Are there ways to treat it? Do any fellow members of this here fine website hear ringing in your ears?

*aaahhht and aaabahhht, ©B&WC 2020

Nominated by: Spoonington