Dead Pool [74]

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *

Congratulations to Gutstick Japseye for correctly predicting that evil mass murdering neo-Nazi cult (cunt) leader Charles Manson would be the next dead cunt

So the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 74.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.

Shaun`s nominations:

David Cassidy
King Michael of Romania
Stirling Moss
Morgan Tsvangirai
Robert Mugabe

Paloma Faith

I did catch the news yesterday re the frog-faced, warbling, cockney arsehole bringing her child up gender neutral.

I suspect this all started as a fashion statement amongst the Notting Hill chattering classes and has now been fully endorsed by our beloved politicos who learned of the concept whilst participating at their dinner parties.

Paloma Faith certainly has questionable talent; she hasn’t had much publicity in recent weeks and therefore is running low on celebrity oxygen. Enduring her singing is akin to castration with a cheese grater. I second a merciless and sustained cunting for her.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

Sat next to her once in an Islington reataurant. Loud mouth opinionated slapper.

Nominated by Kravdarth

Ed Sheeran [3]

That tuneless ginger gargoyle cunt, Sheeran, has said that his cycling injury (which he has whored all over social mong media and not shut the fuck up about!) has caused problems in his sex life… I presume by that, he means his arm injury has put the mockers on him wanking every night (probably over a picture of himself)… Let’s face it, who in their right mind would shag the ginger gremlin? Oh, I forgot, he’s famous and has got money….

Nominated by Norman

Tom Bradby

Slightly off piste but relevant all the same. I am struggling to understand why that smug, arrogant; fucking willy warmer Tom Bradby of ITV news fame has not yet been royally cunted.

This cunt has a centre left opinion on e everything and he thinks he is some fucking funny wise guy.

Why the cunt can’t just deliver the news without putting his own cheesy slant on proceedings is beyond me.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

Jared O`Mara

Jared O `Mara is a cunt by virtue of being a Labour MP.My God though his previpous online posts are fucking legendary.Enjoy:

O’Mara’s derogatory language on the ‘Morrissey Solo’ website message board includes calling homosexuals “fudge packers” who “drive up the Marmite motorway”. He says gay people are “bitter and resentful about being homosexual”.

“Just cos he writes about gayness and gay issues, doesn’t mean he drives up the Marmite motorway, or for that matter, allows someone else to drive up his…

“You do mean ‘took it up the ass’ figuratively don’t you?… I just think that this story is much more poignantly romantic than fudge packing Jake or anyone else in a causual manner and I don’t want such a lovely vista to be spoilt.

“I find it funny how some homosexuals think they have the monopoly on being subject to abuse, they should try being Ginger…”

“To those of you that are bitter and resentful about being homosexual, maybe you need to take a bit of pride in your gayness, it’s not something to be ashamed of.”

On Jamie Cullum:

“It would be no great loss to the music world if he was sodomised with his own piano and subsequently died of a sore arse. In fact, it would be quite funny.”

In relation to pop idol winner Michelle McManus

“She only won because she was fat. Ipso facto…. I also dislike the prevailing western tendency to deify fatties… There is nothing noble or admirable about glutting on loads of fatty foods and making yourself obese and ill. The only fat people out there who deserve our respect are those who are fat not because of a poor diet/lifestyle, but because of a genuine medical condition. As far as I know, Michelle is not amongst that number.”

Using this profile, O’Mara once wrote a mock “advice column” for the band Girls Aloud. His “advice” was that Nicola, Cheryl, Nadine and Kimberley should “come have an orgy with me”. When another user wrote that they would not invite “the whiny ginger one” to take part, O’Mara replied: “At least send the ginge round mine”.

“I wish I were a misogynist
I’d put her in her place
I wish I were a misogynist
I’d smash her in her face.” [A song by O`Mara]

The funny thing is the only one I would say is offensive is the “I wish I were a Misogynist ” song.That was published by Guido Fawkes on the 7th June when he was elected an MP and before he was put on the women and equalities select committee.So why the fuck is there uproar now?

Guido apparently is going to publish his 2010 blog discussing Nelson Mandela and Gandhi.I am getting the popcorn ready as we speak.

In fairness to him although the song is bad the other comments are funny and not bad at all.Most men wanted a threesome with girls aloud 15 years ago (I still wouldn`t say no to be fair).Also he was right about Nicola she was always my favorite.Also fat people shouldn`t be respected for being lard arses and militant poofters do hate anyone who isn`t one of them.Jamie Cullum is also an irritating cunt although his music is pretty decent.He comes across as a dick though.

The guy is clearly a cunt and allegedly has been nasty towards women (whether they are jumping on the bandwagon who knows) but he is a high-quality cunter who should feel free to drop by at this site.

Nominated by Shaun of the Dead 69