Inconsiderate parking

Unfortunately, every one of us of a certain age has become all too familiar with the attitudes and actions of the ‘me generation’; those twats whose first and last thought in any situation is for their own interests, and fuck everybody else.
I nominate inconsiderate parkers as a prime and very common example of this selfish, self centred bunch of cunts. I came home earlier to find that some prick had parked across my driveway, preventing me from gaining access. When said prick returned a couple of hours later I pointed this out to him (quite politely), and received a ‘fuck you’ for my trouble from the turd (what used to be referred to a few years back as a ‘yuppie’ type).
You see the efforts of these thoughtless bastards everywhere. They park on the double yellow in the knowledge that they almost certainly won’t get done, but if they do, hey, it’s a few quid fine, what the heck. If traffic’s hindered, too bad. You’ll see them double parked with their ‘flashers’ on (that’s all right, then) so they can just call at the atm or take that all important mobile call which can’t wait a few minutes. You’ll see them park in the ‘disabled parking’ only space at the supermarket because they’re too fucking bone idle to walk the length of themselves. You’ll see ‘yummy mummy’ causing chaos outside the local school with her Chelsea tractor parked five feet from the kerb. You’ll see them bumped up on pavements, which makes life very difficult to those of limited mobility or in wheelchairs. I’ve even seen cars parked across fire exits; some people really do not give a flying fuck.
I sometimes even get angry with myself for being such a law abiding citizen, because nothing would give me greater pleasure than taking a Stanley knife to the bodywork or the tyres of vehicles belonging to these inconsiderate shits. ‘Me generation’? ‘Generation Cunt’ more like.

Nominated by Ron Knee

GP Receptionists [3]

There appears to be a rare sub-human species closely linked in Darwinian research to Neanderthal Man who’s only career option is to become a receptionist at GP surgeries across the country.

These people immediately turn into a cave man morphed into a traffic warden – possibly the most unpleasant example of sub-human excrement in society.

I have had the pleasure of accompanying my 82 year old mother on a trip to her caring GP surgery today and have encountered a typical GP receptionist which (if only) Damien Hurst were to cut in two and place in formaldehyde would send the art world into rapture looking at the words ‘Total Cunt’ running through the body like a stick of Brighton Rock.

‘Leave me alone and sit over there’ the cunt helpfully informs us as we arrive at 9.20 for her 9.30 appointment. Despite frequent reminders that we still have the misfortune of visiting their premises (and allowing the Practice to claim their Porsche money from HMG) and regularly being told to fuck off in all but words, lunch time rolls around and it is becoming clear that the cunts are going to fuck off to the pub having totally forgotten about us.

After 4 hours of waiting, a GP finally agrees to defer the pub lunch visit by 5 minutes and do a shit job of dealing with said Mum all the while we were having to put up with the stench of burning martyr.

Now I know why I personally avoid these places at all odds – I would be surprised if I have visited the fucking GP 3 times in the last 30 years – it really does feel that a slow and painful death is preferable to dealing with the god complex freak that sits behind the front desk.

Maybe next time I have to go there I will bring my shotgun…….

Nominated by Proper Cunt

The English

The English

Biggest bunch of cunts the world has ever seen. They thought they ruled the world. They thought they were so superior and now they´re reaping the bounty of their arrogance. They took over Wales and Scotland but ending up being ruled by some of the biggest Celtic jerkoffs ever spawned – Lloyd George, Campbell-Bannerman, MacMillan, Douglas-Home, Blair, Brown. (Fortunately lesbian kick-boxer Ruth Davidson, about to give birth to a test tube sprog, has ruled herself out as the next leader because the puir wee lassie cannae cope wi´ the strain of replacing Theresa May.)

The English let a Scotsman called Haig who commanded the army in WWI become a hero back home by killing more Englishmen than Robert the Bruce, William Wallace and Bonnie Prince Charlie combined through his incompetence. And the English made him an earl!. Serves them right for ditching their Scottish Stuart overlords for a bunch of German princelings.
They also let all the other subject races flood into their country and now moan about it. Londonstan, Birminghamstan, Manchesterstan etc. They can´t even play the sports they invented like cricket, football and rugby.

BTW although I am a member of the SNP, love Nicola Sturgeon – and the European Union – and gave that poverty-stricken Alex Salmond a couple of bawbees for his legal defence, I like the ISAC site. Pity it is so anti-Scottish, anti-Irish and anti-Welsh. But what can you expect from a bunch of servile Saxons, descendants of Germans, who got their arses kicked by their French overlords and have never gotten over it?

Nominated by Dr Cameron

( Published in the interests of racial equality. We really don’t care what nationality you are – a cunt is a cunt. But especially the Scots 😉 )

Theresa’s Favourite Word

Hello children. Are you sitting comfortably? Boris! Take your hands from around Dominic’s throat, you wicked boy. Alright. Now I’ll begin. Today’s story is about “back” words. You can find lots of “back” words in a big book of words called a dictionary. Let’s look at some of them shall we. First – backbone. Amber, dear, do you know what this means?

I’m not sure Miss, but my dad says people called fucking politicians who meet in a big house haven’t got any fucking backbone. What’s fucking Miss?

Never mind that now, Amber. Let’s move on to backward. Jacob, would you like to do this one?

Yes, Miss. Backward means being thick and stupid but my dad told me not to use it outside the home in case the thought police heard me and took me to a politically correct – speak induction centre. My dad says all fucking peacefuls are backward because they have no fucking music, literature or art and want to live in the fucking 9th Century. What does fucking mean, Miss?

Never mind that now Jacob. The next word is backstab. Michael, I think you will know this one.

Oh, yes please Miss. It’s like when Ian told me not to tell anyone about having his hand up Anna’s skirt during milk break today but I came and told you Miss. He said he was looking for his pencil but Anna said he was finger fucking her. What’s fucking, Miss?

Alright. One last “back” word before I explain what fucking is. This word is backstop. Any ideas children? Oh my, you’ve all got your hands up! Well I’ll have to choose one of you – David, you intelligent boy, tell us what backstop means.

Well Miss, backstop is a word that means nothing in itself and was dreamt up in a backroom by Uncle Ollie and Nanny Theresa while they were sitting on their backsides trying to get through the backlog of work caused by their backsliding and backtracking on the Brexit negotiations. They were afraid of a backlash from everyone so invented the word backstop which means the same as fucking, Miss.

What do you mean, David?

Well Miss, Ollie and Nanny T have promised Jean-Claude to give the British voters a good fucking up the arse without them realising it until it was too late so they decided to create the word backstop as a synonym for a good fucking up the arse. My dad says Uncle Ollie likes to give Nanny T a good backstop with lots of backflow over a chair in the backroom. What’s backflow, Miss? Treacherous cunts.

Nominated by Fimbriations

Presumed consent

I’d like to cunt the organ donation register and their ‘presumed consent’.
Before I get started, let me just state that of course I support the idea of saving children’s lives etc etc. I’m certain it’s all very worthy. However, how the fuck do they get dibs on my bits by default?
I am NOT happy.
I fail to understand the logic that states that unless I state otherwise my body will be plundered mercilessly. It’s my body! Mine! Sure, I don’t need those bits after I die – that’s not the point – I suppose that I’m annoyed at the rude nature of this assumption.
I’m British. Manners come first. You may very well be dying but you can still say please and thank you.
I am also bitterly disappointed that I have no options with regard to the harvest or the recipients. It’s all or nothing.
I do not support the idea that I work to pay taxes so that some people can spend their entire lives getting drunk, smoking, watching sky tv, dodging work and then when I die they get my organs as well? Talk about mind, body and soul. And what about evil cunts like george best getting two livers? That is well fucked up.
The system of presumed consent is in place in many countries, and does not yield consistent improvement in donorship. There are more factors than just whether or not you have organs going spare.
Anyway, I have put over my idea of selective donation to members of the transplant service and they were not impressed. No, not at all. The word “horrified” springs to mind.
I am getting the impression that wanting a say over what happens to my most treasured possession is a major no-no. I am also getting the impression that expressing my wishes aloud is putting me up there with the worst of humanity. Making me the most selfish of criminals.
The only way I can action any free will at all here, it would seem, is to deny everybody. That doesn’t make sense to me.
What if I wanted to deny members of the KKK my organs? Is that morally wrong?
What about if I wanted to deny convicted rapists and murderers my organs? Surely that’s ok?
People will say “fuck no, you can’t do that! What’s wrong with you? Where will it end?”
Where will it end? There is no end. If somebody wants to deny anyone their organs they already have that choice.
It would appear that there is a major problem singling people out. I don’t understand it myself, but there you go.
This is probably going to turn into yet more proof that I am, indeed, a cunt.

Nominated by Cuntflap