My fellow cunters, I refer you to a report in the Guardian and its broadcast subsidiary, the BBC:
POLICE THWART FAR-RIGHT ZIONIST PLOT TO DISRUPT PEACE MARCH
A quick-thinking police officer has prevented a major plot to disrupt London’s weekly Peace March. One openly Jewish person was spotted by the officer in the vicinity of 100,000 people protesting against Israel’s genocide of Hamas, Palestine’s harmless peace-and-love organisation. Sensing a threat to public order posed by one person, the officer brought the situation smartly under control by threatening to arrest the miscreant.
The officer’s actions were backed up by the Head of the Metropolitan Gestapo, Herr Heinrich Rowley, who has announced that in order to maintain public safety, henceforth all Jewish people entering London must wear a yellow Star of David armband embossed with the word ‘Jude’. This will allow his officers to spot potential troublemakers and deal with them in advance.
London Fuehrer und Reichskauzler Adolf Khan commented ‘Arbeit macht frei’.
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The Met’s “Soft Option” Policing (Revisited)
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s Home Affairs Correspondent Ron Knee speaking. Today I’m in London to report on another ‘pro Palestine’ march…”
” ‘Allo ‘allo ‘allo, what’s all this then?”
“Ah officer, I’m just here to report on the march for our followers…”
“Oh dear oh dear; you’re being openly English in the presence of these peaceful demonstrators. We can’t be ‘avin’ any of that now can we? Move along sir, or I’ll ‘ave to place you under arrest”
“Being ‘openly English’ in England? What on earth are you talking about?”
“Now don’t you get stroppy with me my lad, or I’ll ‘ave you. It’s owt uv hawdur. You’re a blond, blue-eyed white male. You’ve made no attempt to blend in by puttin’ a Yassah Arafat scarf around your face to conceal your hidentity. You’ve not got a SWP placard wiv a pro-Hamas slogan on it, and you’re not chantin’ ‘frum the river to the sea’. Your presence here is hostile, and likely to provoke a breach of the peace, so ‘op it”
“No way Pedro! I’ve got a right to be here *ducks swiftly as a can whistles past head* Look! that person with the green hair and smelly looking clothes just threw a can at me! They’re chanting ‘Nazi scum’ and spitting in my direction. Don’t just stand there, do something!”
“Right sunshine, you’ve been warned. Your presence ‘ere watchin’ is an open act of provocation. You’re under arrest for being openly English in a public place. You do not ‘ave to say anythin’…”
“Oh fuck. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio. Don’t shove your knee in my back. Don’t hit me again officer, I’m not resisting… Help!”
The Standard
Nominated by 1 Geordie Twatt, 2 Ron Knee.