Exotic pet ownership

I would like to nominate people who keep ‘Exotic’ pets.

It appears that some guy name of Dan Brandon was asphyxiated by one of his 10, yes 10 snakes he kept in his bedroom along with 12 Tarantulas. On the night in question his Mam said she heard a thud in his bedroom but just assumed he had knocked something over. By the time they found him it was too late. What’s more at the inquest the coroner concluded that the death was caused as a result of contact with the snake but that he had no reason to suspect it was because of aggression or confrontation but if anything a show of affection! Affection. Affecttion!! This is a fucking snake not a fucking kitty kat.

It appears to me that there are three cunts in this sorry tale. No1 and biggest cunt is obviously Dan who chose to keep these fucking deadly creatures in his bedroom so I don’t think he’s got much to complain about when one decides to do what it’s fucking here on Earth to do.

No2 are his Ma and Da for even contemplating the notion of letting the thick cunt bring them in to the house in the first place. What in fucks name were they thinking. Imagine living there. You’d be scared fucking shitless to open a cupboard door or even take a dump lest some slithering reptile jumps out or decides to latch on to your fucking nutsack. Fuck me!

No3 has got to be the fucking coroner. To suggest that a snake somehow is capable of showing affection makes the mind boggle. I don’t ever recall old Davey Attenborough in the jungle with a twenty foot python making it roll over while he tickled its fucking tummy or seeing a King Cobra striking out only to stop short and say ‘just kidding’. No I’m sorry. Sad as this whole affair is there is no other conclusion to be drawn except that people who keep such beasts are indeed Cunts.

Nominated by Kendo Nag

Anna Soubry [2]

A quick emergency cunting for the poor post menopausal minging remaining cunt that is Anna Soubry.

Every fucking week she’s on the biased news that is BBC moaning and whinging about how to stop Brexit, I swear if she could she’d launch a terrorist attack against leavers, she’s such a world class cunt .

She always looks like she’s in need of commitment to a mental institution. She’s seriously fucked up .

Even today she’s back on the news with Cunty Ummana. Yep on the good old biased BBC again with her plan to stop Brexit .

Fuck off Anna we all hate you . Go live in Belgium or on the fucking asteroid that nearly just hit us .

Nominated by Cunt Care Less

Oxfam (2)

Oxfam are cunts…. Here is their new appeal….

Remember, just £30 a month will provide clean prostitutes for up to six aid workers…. Even a fiver could help pay for a blow job… So please give what you can, very good, very long time….

Nominated by Norman

Laurie Love

This guy who hacked the us government or whatever is the newest poster boy for victim remoralising/excusemaking sympathy porn.

He has aspergers syndrome or something, which apparently means (I am playing a faux-ignorant charicature here to emphasize the stupidity of the situation FYI, anyway …) that he didn’t give 2 shits about why he was hacking, it was all about the challenge.

So apparently that makes it alright then?! The cunt even arrogantly made some wanky statement to the media saying that it was a victory for justice and blah blah we’ve heard it all before pal. What kind of mental gymnastics go on in a morons head to make him think that it is heroic to get away with something that in most cases would mean the end of a normal persons lifestyle? To fuck with such power and then laugh at it and then think you are right means you are a cunt, not a hero.

I’m not backing up the US Government though. The problem is the arbitrary and frankly laugh or you will die nature of it. Here is the nub of it.

So because he has aspergers, it means that his motivation was technical. He wanted to see if he could beat the challenge of hacking some of the tightest internet security. He didn’t care about whatever military bullshit he would find (who would?), he just wanted to see if he could, because his “disease” made him. This apparently passes for logic. The best I heard was some sympathy monger on LBC state, and I quote, “I wouldn’t call it hacking”.

Think about this for a second. Someone commits a crime, but because they are motivated by some condition (meaning something they can describe that other people do) then its ok. Because his primary intention was to commit the crime in the first place, and not some other goal, that makes it ok? What the actual cunting fuck?

Picture the scene. A woman comes home to find her son in the process of being stabbed by another man, who has aspergers syndrome (or whatever fucking excuse is next). Horrified she says “you stabbed my boy”. The perpetrators mother is there (for purely anecdotal reasons), “I wouldn’t call it stabbing” she says, “he just wanted to see how far the knife went in”.

They’re just taking the piss aren’t they, they’re not even trying any more.

So Laurie Love deserves a cunting, becaue he let the sympathy dealers brainwash him into thinking that he can do whatever the fuck he want because he has a condition, and then brag about it.

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

The Grand Tour

Clarkson and his two hangers on are monumental cunts.
I’ve defended Clarkson over the years as always enjoyed his stuff and his ability to piss off the over sensitive amongst us.

Until the other night when I sat and watched the latest installment of The Grand Tour (on a pirate website, no way I’m paying for it) and the three cunts utterly trashed a 1967 MK10 Jaguar for a stunt.
I love old Jags (new ones are invariably driven by cunts, sadly) but at the mo can’t myself afford one myself (which rubs it in even more) and now there’s one less left.
Fuck all three of these twats. Hopefully the next time some daft hippy shoves a pie in Clarkson’s face it will number Hydrogen Cyanide amongst it’s ingredients…

Nominated by Mr Bastard