Dead Pool [85]

Fuck me! Somebody other than Shaun has won the Dead Pool!

Well done another old stalwart, Dioclese, who predicted the demise of US evangelist Billy Graham. Must have been devine inspiration!

So on to Deadpool 85

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck

75 thoughts on “Dead Pool [85]

  1. Fuck! I’ve been gazumped again! Forget about that entry please. I’ll come back later.

  2. I have been peddling these cunts for ages. One has got fall of the perch soon.

    Gerald Harper
    Bill Maynard
    Katie Boyle
    Millicent Martin
    Desmond Morris

  3. Billy Connelly
    Mickey Gilley ( Jerry lees cousin)
    Jerry Lee “ the killer”Lewis
    Willie Nelson
    Duke of Kent

  4. Gina Lollobrigida
    Bernard Cribbins
    Franco Zeferrelli
    Glynis Johns
    Teddy Johnson (of Pearl Carr fame)

  5. Yoko fucking Ono
    Michael Heseltine
    Danglebert Pimpledick
    Des O’Connor
    Tony Blackburn

  6. Apparently Jill Gascoigne is utterly riddled with alzheimers now, aged 80 and living in a care home so she’s got to be a good shout.

  7. Camel-laaah Parkyer-Bowels
    Joannaaah Plastic-Bumley
    Laura Kuntsberg
    Emmaah Twatson
    Silly Jilly Cooper (long overdue, like most of her vaginal-mucus-stained “Take me over the Agaaaah roughly, from behind” novels in the library). Cotswoldian-cum-churn.

  8. Good shout, Dio. Now, if no one’s fucking nicked them:
    Alan Alda
    Donald Sutherland
    Peter Allis
    Aretha Franklin
    Michael Douglas

  9. Good left hook Dio. What a shameless turd Billy Graham was. Fucking rapacious, hoodwinking cunt.

    The Dalai Lama
    Rupert Murdoch
    Alex Ferguson
    Neil Simon
    Nile Rodgers

      • Purely wishful thinking. A sharpened toothbrush handle rammed into his liver would probably do the trick, not that I would advocate such a heinous act.

  10. Nice one mate.

    Me usual picks,

    James Earl Jones
    Gary Glitter
    Freddy Foreman
    Dick Van Dyke
    Robert Duvall

  11. Carol Channing
    OJ Simpson
    Joan Collins
    Queen Sophia de Bourbon or whatever it is
    Denise van Outen

    • Sophia de Custard Cream rings a bell…
      Or generally, for royalty, the family name of Jammy Dodger.

  12. Esther Rantzen
    Sir Philip Green
    Miriam Margoyles
    Vanessa Feltz
    Alan Yentob.

    Good Shot, Dio.

      • No , Shitcake. I’m approaching this problem from a whole new direction…
        I never really minded King Arthur,and to give the old bugger his due,everything he said about a pit hit-list was true.

        I do agree that I’m probably the kindest poster on here.

    • SB, I apologise for misreading…
      Thought you’d put Ginga Minger
      Which forced me to consider a number of options (Union Jack dresses, dodgy duchesses &c.)

  13. Vince McMahon
    Ric Flair
    Leon ‘Vader’ White
    ‘Superstar’ Billy Graham
    Harley Race

  14. Some.cunt sent me a recent picture of Judy finnegan earlier and she don’t look like she should plan putting on any double albums, if you catch me drift.

  15. I just got out of hospital after suffering fried chicken withdraw symptoms, lm ok now though. Off to get me some rice and pea an stew chicken. Ya bloodclaats you.

  16. On a night out with some mates including a fetching young blond who happens to be my mates other half.After the last two weeks any inappropriate behavoiour will be dealt with fists not black dresses.

  17. George Sorros (more in hope than expectation)
    Prince Phillip (again, one can wish….)
    Robert Mugabe (please!)
    Rolf Harris
    Berni Maddoff

    In fact, if the whole lot of them could shuffle off this mortal coil I would be delighted. What a collection of cunts.

  18. Buzz Aldrin
    Chuck Yeager
    Virginia McKenna
    Michael Collins (astronaut)
    George “Johnny” Johnson (Dambuster)

  19. Bryan Ferry
    Hosni Mubarak
    Dick van Dyke
    Barbara Bush
    Henry Kissinger
    Peter Green ( fleetwood Mac )

      • Cheers Dio, I nicked a couple of his regulars in the dead pool and wondered why he hasn’t called me a cunt for it.

      • Fucking family problems. The world would be a much better place without “family”. Money obsessed bastards. Then there’s the old marriage merry-go-round. Total cunt. Had the feeling the wheels might be coming orf his trolley. Give Fred me respects if inclined and a speedy recovery from whatever.

  20. Anyone have old Blakey? (Stephen Lewis) Delivered a masterclass in how to be a cunt. “Oooo I ‘ate you Butler”. Learned a lot from him.

  21. Well done Sir Limply

    I can finally do my best joke!

    Ken Dodd died
    Did he? (diddy)
    No! Doddy!

    Baboom tish!

    Thank you very much, I’ll be here all week

  22. Appreciate the heads up DB. As the actress said to the bishop, “a fucking long time coming”. Thought I’d lost me touch. Had the old scarse cunt for years then other bastard cunts started robbing me orf him once he went in to horspital. Sodding fuckers. Came back to papa in the end though so screw the lot orf you.

    Knew him somewhat, quite a nice bloke, would always bounce a gag or two orf one another. Two tight to marry his long suffering partner but tied the knot at the end so he would’nt have to leave her any money but she could claim death benefit (2.5 grand) – touching. Doddy’s best gag? Actually what Jimmy Tarbuck cracked aboit him as a guest on the Inland Revenue Tour – cunters will recall his run in over non-declaration of earnings and his enforced tour to pay orf the bill. Also the publicity over his hemorrhoids.

    Jimmy Tarbuck:

    “You’ll see old Doddy’s walking a lot easier now. He’s been in and had the operation on his arse and while they were doing it the doctors found another five grand stuck up there”

    Avoiding all the “comic legend” crapola. The old cunt gag machine was ok but the earlier Diddy Man stuff with the kids and the Tickling Stick was deeply embarrassing. Would go doine a storm in Paedo Central – Telford – though.

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