I’d like to nominate my MP, Michael Fallon. He was there during the Libor scandle – now strangely forgotten/suppressed news – lives a 30 minute train journey away from but “needs” a London flat at our expense.

Urbane, Bon Viveur, Host, he’s the man of the moment…but still a complete cunt.

Nominated by: Mr Ed

…and let’s not forget his punch up with Boris over suburban rail franchising and his involvement in the fracking fracas!

Can’t think of a better person to take command of the defence of the realm. Not.

Nominated by: Dioclese